Dog nipped baby (X-posted)

[agilefeet]

Just looking to vent, gain perspective and/or advice. Vague for privacy using terms likes (Spouse, baby, family member, dog). Cross-posted cause this fits multiple topics.

TL;DR - Family members dog nipped our baby and we won't let our baby be around it anymore which is going to cause tension and awkwardness during the holidays!

I was picking our newborn up from the rocker and a family members dog who was sitting next to the rocker, swiftly nipped at my baby's face. It didn't break skin. My baby did cry and there were red marks for awhile. I cried, too. It was a scary moment.

We had the dog outside and it was not around the baby again for the remainder of the afternoon (Then everyone went home). My spouse and I immediately decided that dog is not allowed around our baby again. The only way to know if it was truly a one time incident was to put our baby at risk again and we're obviously NOT gonna do that.

Since this happened we've received pictures of the dog with other family members children. It first makes me wonder the intention of these photos (trying to show he's fine around kids AND if those family members were informed of what happened. We often share funny videos in a group chat, and a funny (/s) video was shared about a dog biting someone. It was pretty upsetting.

The holidays are coming up and my spouse wants to get a hotel room and not stay together as a whole family due to this dog. This is going to cause awkwardness and tension. We're also planning a trip next year to the area where this family lives. Usually we'd be expected to stay with them down there, but again, won't do so because of the dog. Add on more awkwardness!

Background - They do not have their own children, yet. They have not done any training with the dog. One time we stayed with them prior to having our baby and this dog bit our cat. We have dogs as well, and do love dogs very much.

 

[rachellee]

@agilefeet A very close family member’s 120lb dog nipped my (then) 2 year old in the face a few years back (no broken skin, just a red scratch). The dog was sleeping and my child startled him. We didn’t flip out, we’re dog owners and understand that these things can happen and the family members/dog’s owner were horrified. HOWEVER, we did inform them that our child(ren) and the dog are NEVER allowed to interact from there on out. They completely agreed. We visit them frequently (6-8 times a month) and we call them when we are pulling up to their house and they lock the dog away. It has never been an issue since.

I understand that it is a horrible feeling and I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I hope your family members can respect you and your child and keep the dog away.

 

[musicman534]

@rachellee This is the way

I'm a parent and dog owner & lover (grew up with big dogs)

The dog should never be chosen over the potential safety of any child.

Our dog gets put away when family or kids friends come over. He's never bitten but is VERY protective and has displayed aggressive body language to visitors and family before who he thinks is getting too close to the wife or kids.

If OPs family has an issue with the dog vs kids thing, let's hope they don't pick the dog.

I don't care if they have no kids and the dog is their "baby".

No, no it's not. It's a dog, not a human. Put the dog away, the dog will be just fine.

 

[trob]

@rachellee Honestly, this is not the dogs fault. That is 100% your fault for not teaching your child how to behave around animals AND supervising your child when around an animal. You would no longer be welcome in my house if it was my pet until you taught your child manners around pets. Your friend is being EXTREMELY generous to you and your child.

 

[kgab]

@trob I think you missed that the child was a newborn. You can't teach them how to behave around animals because they're not quite there yet. They can't even think to reach out and grab something, they are entirely helpless A tiny baby in no way could provoke the dog deliberately. Even if a child did a well trained dog moves away from the bairn or puts up with it. Nipping a baby is no way acceptable.

 

[flowork]

@trob Really? I’d like to know how you teach a newborn to behave around animals

 

[joaa]

@trob Wow. The kid was 2...even the most well behaved 2 year old is going to mess it up sometimes. You can't seriously be taking this stance.

 

[crferguson50]

@joaa My daughter is 18M and has been shown how to properly treat our pets. We have 2 dogs and 2 cats and she understands the importance of being gentle and she gives the dogs space and doesn’t bother them. It has been a huge focus for myself and husband since she was about a month old. We gradually introduced the animals to her and once she was starting to scoot around we began showing her how to gently pet them.

 

[joaa]

@crferguson50 Yeah, that's great and all. My daughter has grown up with animals too and knew from a young age what was what and how to treat animals. But you can't blame a small child for getting it wrong every once in a while, especially when it's an animal they're not super familiar with. Toddlers are not adults, do not hold them to that standard.

 

[goodwill]

@trob The dog owner is just as responsible for supervision.

Also we don't know that OP's kid wasn't being supervised. Unless you're sitting between the baby and the dog all the time then there's a chance that the kid could get to the dog despite being supervised. The key is is someone around who can step in asap.

 

[joshisajosh]

@trob Explain how to teach a 2 year old how to interact with a dog (including while it's sleeping) and explain how to insure the toddler never ever slips up whether or not on purpose. Just curious...

 

[goodwill]

@joshisajosh You can teach a 2yo all you like, they don't have the executive function to be trusted to act appropriately 100% of the time.

 

[trob]

@joshisajosh Don’t touch a sleeping dog and actual parental supervision.

Edit: and yes, I have 2 children and work in rescue. Dogs come in and out here all of the time. My kids are taught to respect a dogs space. We do bot ride them, poke them, hug them, etc. respecting boundaries is taught.

 

[positiveflux]

@trob You're talking, specifically, about children who are old enough to actually comprehend the information given, not just hear you said it. Newborns and infants are (as you must know) prone to startling AND so are dogs. A startled animal (the dog) can and does bite. Very young children can be bitten or worse for virtually no reason.

 

[joshisajosh]

@trob I missed the part where you insure the child never slips up or forgets what you've taught.

 

[katrina2017]

@joshisajosh I think they’re saying if the child is too young or hasn’t shown themselves to be responsible then close supervision should ensure this doesn’t happen

 

[crferguson50]

@trob Nevermind my post was irrelevant

 

[bernardbarry237]

@agilefeet I feel like if you state you don't want your baby around their dog they should respect your boundaries and not bring the dog over. Also you keep the baby away from the dog.

Even if you didn't have a baby and said hey don't bring your dog over. They should respect that.

Now if it's someone else's house it's really up to the owner of the house. But still, they all should respect you not wanting the baby near the dog.

Also dogs you can leave at home, babies you can not.

 

[kingofjews]

@bernardbarry237 I love my dog to death and he’s incredibly well behaved, but if someone said they didn’t want him at their house then he’s not going over there. Dogs are fine being alone for a bit, babies have to be with their parents.

 

[trob]

@bernardbarry237 You’re making the assumption that they brought the dog to their house or did I miss something? Sounds like the dog was at it’s own home. And honestly, if the dog was in his own home, then it’s you’re right to not go there again but you can’t tell people to put their dog away in their own house. Just don’t leave your baby unattended or don’t go. That’s also your right to choose.