Do you consider it "taboo" for a boy to see the diaper changing of his baby sister?

[sprinkle]

@innerwealth That’s a great example of how small accommodations could be made instead of refusing access to a community resource. The locker room at my YMCA has some brilliant moms (Im sure there are brilliant dads too but I’m only in the ladies room) who solve this stuff easily. They select the far corner and give their kiddos snacks to distract them while mom gets dressed. Much better solution.

 

[lizlynus]

@sprinkle This is exactly what I saw as a teen using the locker room at our YMCA. It never bothered me.

 

[andrew1321]

@katie6 There definitely is. Thankfully our public pool and hopefully most places have a family bathroom option for that in between.

 

[ametsam]

@katie6 Sorry why a same-sex parent?

 

[sprinkle]

@ametsam Because OP has been socialized to believe that an opposite gender parent can’t care for their child at an arbitrary age. The root is sexualizing children, whether or not they want to admit this or understand. There is nothing sexual about an opposite gender parent reminding a child to wipe their butt, clean their armpits, rinse the soap out of their hair. It’s also assuming that an observer will sexualize their child, which is not terribly likely and is actually a better argument for supervising your child in such an environment rather than sending them in alone.

 

[innerwealth]

@sprinkle No. I am not comfortable with sending young kids into locker rooms by themselves. Fortunately places have family changing rooms now.

 

[someguy29]

@katie6 What confuses me here is that apparently public changing rooms are a thing? And they're not stalls??

 

[peter800]

@vali123 I always got sent away when my cousins were being changed because if it was a poo diaper I always wanted to look, and then throw up.

 

[timothyrice]

@biblesniffer I (female) have a twin brother and there are pictures of us running around naked. My SO has two sisters and they used to take baths together.

 

[chickadee18]

@biblesniffer Same

 

[imafighter]

@knorvy10 I have a lot of childhood trauma and I wonder about breastfeeding and changing my daughter's diapers in front of my 7yo a lot. I never make a big deal about it, sometimes he looks because he's curious I feel like that's normal. I do sometimes tell him I need some alone time when I'm pumping or breastfeeding because of my own insecurities. Not all the time but sometimes. This thread has been really helpful. I think as someone who has childhood trauma it's hard to realize that normal people don't think the way you do.

Trying to break the cycle of abuse and toxicity is hard and I'm glad I'm going about it the right way judging by the comments. Ty for everyone who contributed to this thread.

 

[reader55]

@imafighter When it comes to you breastfeeding and asking for privacy, that is also very important for him to learn and understand. Not only for him to respect other’s wishes, but also for him to learn that it’s okay for him to ask for privacy if he feels he needs it.

 

[sixthchick]

@imafighter Let's take a look at these two situations:

• Two people where one person wants privacy
• Three people where one person is gate keeping between the other two people that are OK with each other

In the latter situation, it's the third person that's trying to claim power over one of the other people's bodies. Autonomy has to go both ways—the right to say "no, my body my rules" but also, in the second situation, the right to say "yes, my body"

 

[arpaxad]

@sixthchick I’m not trying to argue because I agree that there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with a child being around when their mother is changing their sibling’s diaper, but at the same time, I don’t think that you can say that two children are okay with the situation when one of them is an infant who has no real concept of privacy.

 

[katrina2017]

@imafighter Hi I know I'm late to this, but this comment was so bittersweet to see. I'm sorry you have trauma from your childhood, and I hope it's less damaging to you now. But I'm very proud of you for handling it the way you have instead of going down the hypersexual route. That's lovely to see.

 

[insingapore]

@imafighter I'm sorry to hear that! I'm glad this thread is helping. If you have doubts about weather something is appropriate you can always ask your pediatrician, counselor or other Healthcare providers. I am a nurse practitioner and I get questions about this kind of stuff from parents and caregivers all the time! Just a reminder, you're doing great!!

 

[johann57]

@knorvy10 I don't see any problem here, I feel sorry for your husband, that he felt offended by that, clearly something his parents are to blame for.

 

[k2larry]

@knorvy10 Not a parent, but I often ask for advice on this thread, and I'm a nanny.

That's like asking if it's shameful for your son to see you breastfeed. He ate from the same tiddy so... No, no and no.

 

[katrina2017]

@knorvy10 No it isn't an issue. This isn't teaching privacy, it's teaching shame and ignorange.
If he wants to respect privacy, then he should do so upon a sentient being and not a toddler that needs supervision. Her brother needs to know what a girl is about so he isn't ignorant about female bodies aswell. Big brother need to care, right?
Respect is learned when boundaries are taught, and the baby has to set those personally. Like if she doesn't like being hugged, then respect that.

But by all means, teach the boy to change diapers without giving a girl a UTI and as a parent he might thank you.

Edit: girls get no heat for carrying baby dolls everywhere and learning parenting from a young age, why treat your boy differently?

 

[katrina2017]

@knorvy10 No issue imo, my brother was 3 when my eldest was born and he used to bathe his 'baby' (we got him a hard bodied doll) when I bathed my daughter and the smae with changing nappies, I'd change hers and he'd change his babies bum.

We got him the doll because he kept trying to help with daughter