@dekta09 I had the same issue and felt like an entirely new human after LO was sleep trained. Once LO figured out how to fall asleep independently, she stopped waking up for night feedings at all - we got 12-13 hour nights by night 4. She’s now a toddler but I will never forget how life changing sleep training was for us all. I do after that it’s a good idea for OP to also go see her doctor. PPA is awful, I hope you get some relief from it soon OP.
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Do I have PPD/PPA or am I sleep deprived?
- Thread starter iwantchristmore28
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- vent working moms
@iwantchristmore28 Sleep deprivation is hard. Make sure to tell your doc you have racing thoughts - they can help you sort out if it’s PPA or lack of sleep.
If you’re alternating nights, why aren’t you sleeping longer than 6 hours on your off night? I’d try going to bed earlier for a week. Don’t worry about evening chores other than those that absolutely have to be done (feed yourself, get the daycare bag ready) and go to bed at 8pm. Regardless of it being PPA or not, it sounds like you need more sleep right now.
It also sounds like baby is genuinely hungry, so I’d talk to the daycare again about increasing ounces during the day. And maybe add an ounce to his first morning bottle before work, and an ounce to each afternoon/evening bottle.
If you’re alternating nights, why aren’t you sleeping longer than 6 hours on your off night? I’d try going to bed earlier for a week. Don’t worry about evening chores other than those that absolutely have to be done (feed yourself, get the daycare bag ready) and go to bed at 8pm. Regardless of it being PPA or not, it sounds like you need more sleep right now.
It also sounds like baby is genuinely hungry, so I’d talk to the daycare again about increasing ounces during the day. And maybe add an ounce to his first morning bottle before work, and an ounce to each afternoon/evening bottle.
iwantchristmore28
New member
@iwantchristmore28 I’d try ear plugs and white noise. See if a few nights of solid sleep improves how you’re feeling.
@trout11 Man ear plugs are life changing. I wear them on nights when spouse is snoring particularly loud and I sleep SO SOUNDLY even when I can still hear the snores. I use these and love them.
Mack's Pillow Soft Silicone Earplugs - 6 Pair, Value Pack – The Original Moldable Silicone Putty Ear Plugs for Sleeping, Snoring, Swimming, Travel, Concerts and Studying https://a.co/d/5Iwd4JL
Mack's Pillow Soft Silicone Earplugs - 6 Pair, Value Pack – The Original Moldable Silicone Putty Ear Plugs for Sleeping, Snoring, Swimming, Travel, Concerts and Studying https://a.co/d/5Iwd4JL
@iwantchristmore28 In addition to the earplugs and white noise, can you get rid of clocks? I find that the less aware I am of what time it is, how much time I’m still getting to sleep, etc. has an impact on whether I can fall back asleep.
@fowler623 Yes! Do not check your phone when you wake up either, it makes it harder to fall back asleep.
@iwantchristmore28 Also unisom helps take the edge off falling asleep. It's pregnancy and breastfeeding safe. I took it when doing night shifts with my SO and found myself lying there willi g myself to sleep the first hour. The unisom helps me fall asleep and then drift back off fairly quickly if woken up. You could also try melatonin for falling asleep.
sally_wheeler
New member
@iwantchristmore28 4 months is a really tough age for baby sleep. If you are not opposed to it, at 5 months we sleep trained our baby and it was amazing to get a full nights sleep. YMMV I'm sure it depends on the baby how effective sleep training is.
I also had a friend get their night nurse to come back around 4 months, not everyday but it gave her and her husband a couple of good nights of sleep a week.
I don't have experience with medications, but maybe I should have taken some medication post partum, so I would be entirely open to it. That may be part of the equation and getting better sleep would be another part of the equation.
I also had a friend get their night nurse to come back around 4 months, not everyday but it gave her and her husband a couple of good nights of sleep a week.
I don't have experience with medications, but maybe I should have taken some medication post partum, so I would be entirely open to it. That may be part of the equation and getting better sleep would be another part of the equation.
theseeker4
New member
@iwantchristmore28 My sleep deprivation and PPA just fed each other - I was so exhausted I was anxious about everything because I couldn't keep a though in my head, and I was so anxious I had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep because I would cycle through every single thing I needed to do.
Zoloft made a massive, massive difference for me. I'm glad you're seeing your doctor, I hope they can help!
Zoloft made a massive, massive difference for me. I'm glad you're seeing your doctor, I hope they can help!
@theseeker4 Also a mom who couldn’t figure out if it was sleep deprivation or PPA and started Zoloft a month ago. My baby is teething right now and has very few long stretches of sleep, but when given the opportunity to fall back asleep I am now able to do so, and it started a virtuous cycle. And none of the grogginess of Unisom or other sleep aids I’ve tried. My husband said he’s seen a big improvement in my mood (sometimes it’s hard to tell yourself).
@iwantchristmore28 I’m not sure. It seems to me that you are having a tough time because it’s literally very tough. So that makes sense. Do you think that you’re feeling bad in a way that is appropriate with the situation? To me it seems like you are. But of course if you feel like you should feel better even sleep deprived then talk to your healthcare provider. To me it sounds like you’re exhausted.
To be fair I’ve had Xanax prescribed post partum and it did help a bunch with the anxiety keeping me up at night. I liked it because it was not long term medication like antidepressants which are a pain to quit (been there).
Have you considered taking a day off while baby is at daycare to stay home and sleep if that’s an option?
To be fair I’ve had Xanax prescribed post partum and it did help a bunch with the anxiety keeping me up at night. I liked it because it was not long term medication like antidepressants which are a pain to quit (been there).
Have you considered taking a day off while baby is at daycare to stay home and sleep if that’s an option?
@iwantchristmore28 Mine is almost 11 months, goes to bed at 7pm; I "dream feed" him before bed at ~10:3-11pm. He's up again at 2am, 5am, 7am up for the day.
We had 4 blissful nights right after starting 3 solid meals a day where he slept from dream feed until 7, no wake ups. Then he started teething and it was like 4-5 wakes a night.
Sleep deprivation is hard; I have found a few things to help:
1 - Managing expectations. If you expect to wake a few times and you wake a few times, you can think, fine, that was normal. Maybe baby only woke at 1am and 5am, that's a good stretch! Celebrate small victories.
2 - I don't turn on any light or do anything that might wake me up more when I am up with baby in the night. I go into his room in the dark, I pick him up and make myself comfortable and close my eyes while he feeds. I do NOT look at a phone (I used to internet surf and that makes it way harder to go back to sleep after).
That said, we're meeting with a sleep coach this week to see what we can do to help cut night wakes more because he's old enough to not need so many night feeds but I need moral support on the game plan.
We had 4 blissful nights right after starting 3 solid meals a day where he slept from dream feed until 7, no wake ups. Then he started teething and it was like 4-5 wakes a night.
Sleep deprivation is hard; I have found a few things to help:
1 - Managing expectations. If you expect to wake a few times and you wake a few times, you can think, fine, that was normal. Maybe baby only woke at 1am and 5am, that's a good stretch! Celebrate small victories.
2 - I don't turn on any light or do anything that might wake me up more when I am up with baby in the night. I go into his room in the dark, I pick him up and make myself comfortable and close my eyes while he feeds. I do NOT look at a phone (I used to internet surf and that makes it way harder to go back to sleep after).
That said, we're meeting with a sleep coach this week to see what we can do to help cut night wakes more because he's old enough to not need so many night feeds but I need moral support on the game plan.
@iwantchristmore28 I did Lexapro and it was very helpful.
Remember the 4 month sleep regression! (Oh god, my baby is 7 weeks and I’m dreading this already.) Mag e your guy is having a long one?
Hugs!!!
Remember the 4 month sleep regression! (Oh god, my baby is 7 weeks and I’m dreading this already.) Mag e your guy is having a long one?
Hugs!!!
flatassembler
New member
@iwantchristmore28 I had PPA and sleep deprivation the first month and it wrecked me. We made some changes and this is what helped.
- We sleep in a shift schedule so we both share the sleep workload EVERY night. This helps ensure we each get minimum 6 hours of sleep. Husband goes to bed at 8pm/9pm and is guaranteed solid sleep until 3am. If baby needs help from bedtime - 3am I take care of baby. After 3am, when baby wakes it is husband’s shift so I can sleep 3am-9am without a break. As time has gone on, baby is now 7 months and because baby doesn’t wake up as much I can get more sleep on the front end so I wake up earlier now. When we alternated nights like you are doing we found we never got out of the sleep deprivation hole.
- Headphones in with boring music or podcast when I am “off duty”. This was a weird one for me at first but once I was able to trust Dad would take care of baby when it was their shift, the headphones helped ensure I would go back to sleep quickly if woken and not allow my brain to spiral into other thoughts.
- (For PPA) Practice trust in your partner. No one will do everything with baby the way you would, but so long as baby is not in danger or harms way, baby will be okay with someone else for a while. This also gives your partner time to grow their new parent muscles, too!
- Know that this isn’t forever. When you’re in the thick of it, today can feel like it’s always been this way and always will be this way which amps up the PPA. But the trust is it isn’t. Look back at where baby was at 1 week and 3 weeks…there has been change since then and there will be change again!
metalgreymon
New member
@iwantchristmore28 I can’t speak to whether you have PPD/A or whether the medication would help you. Although, I think I did read somewhere once that sleep deprivation can be linked to PPD/A.
BUT it does sound like your baby is in the 4-month sleep regression. My son’s only lasted 2 weeks, but my daughter’s lasted 2 months and it was a NIGHTMARE.
I was at my wit’s end and wound up hiring a sleep consultant my manager recommended to me (she, her sister, and her bff used her). It was $700 and all done remotely through google docs and phone calls. My baby was seriously sleeping through the night by night 2, the longest she cried was 20mins and that was with soothing. She’s 16 months now and sleeps through the night every night, even through teething and illnesses. The worst she’s done is wake up at 5:45am for a few weeks. It was a game changer for us.
Also, if that doesn’t help or you’re totally opposed (no judgement, I wasn’t comfortable sleep training my first), then I would hire a night doula to come and help at least once or twice a week for awhile so you can count on getting some uninterrupted sleep every couple days at least.
BUT it does sound like your baby is in the 4-month sleep regression. My son’s only lasted 2 weeks, but my daughter’s lasted 2 months and it was a NIGHTMARE.
I was at my wit’s end and wound up hiring a sleep consultant my manager recommended to me (she, her sister, and her bff used her). It was $700 and all done remotely through google docs and phone calls. My baby was seriously sleeping through the night by night 2, the longest she cried was 20mins and that was with soothing. She’s 16 months now and sleeps through the night every night, even through teething and illnesses. The worst she’s done is wake up at 5:45am for a few weeks. It was a game changer for us.
Also, if that doesn’t help or you’re totally opposed (no judgement, I wasn’t comfortable sleep training my first), then I would hire a night doula to come and help at least once or twice a week for awhile so you can count on getting some uninterrupted sleep every couple days at least.
@iwantchristmore28 This was me. I was a tired and angry mess. I started an ssri and it's helped a ton. My thyroid was also wonky and fixing that helped my insomnia a ton so maybe ask about thyroid too.
We're sleep training next week at five months for my sanity, but not night weaning (she's at 1 feed )
We're sleep training next week at five months for my sanity, but not night weaning (she's at 1 feed )
@iwantchristmore28 Consider seeing a sleep specialist for your infant or otherwise buying a Snoo or hiring a night nurse. Because it sounds like you need some restorative sleep and that’s hard to do with a litigator’s hours.
Also make sure to raise the light sleeping and fussy eating issues with your pede. In month 3, my fussy eater/bad sleeper nurses every 1.5 hours for 5-7 minutes 24/7 while I went full Yellow Wallpaper. Her suggestion at our four month was to start solids and sleep train. These two things changed our lives. He started to sleep for reliable 4 hour stretches and he wasn’t constantly starving and started to improve at breast feeding. It also took so much pressure off.
So, whatever happens, baby WILL grow out of this. Just remember that you aren’t and island and that you should use all of your resources
Also make sure to raise the light sleeping and fussy eating issues with your pede. In month 3, my fussy eater/bad sleeper nurses every 1.5 hours for 5-7 minutes 24/7 while I went full Yellow Wallpaper. Her suggestion at our four month was to start solids and sleep train. These two things changed our lives. He started to sleep for reliable 4 hour stretches and he wasn’t constantly starving and started to improve at breast feeding. It also took so much pressure off.
So, whatever happens, baby WILL grow out of this. Just remember that you aren’t and island and that you should use all of your resources
@iwantchristmore28 I needed medication for a while, but eventually (once babies’ sleep got better) I weaned off. It’s okay to need some help—for the long term or short term. I had a lot of anxiety surrounding sleep too. It’s SUCH a major component of my mental health that it’s really no surprise mine went down the tubes when I was getting poor sleep.
@iwantchristmore28 There is a lot of great advice here but I will add- if baby is 5 months or older you could also consider introducing solids a tiny bit early to get baby a bit more nutrition and potentially not need to eat as much at night. This is just one thing but it might help move the needle a tiny bit.
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