@greykell I came here to say that I was in the exact same position with my first child. I ended up safely co-sleeping with her for 3 mos. I’m not going to lie, it helped a LOT with getting sleep in, as she was a major contact sleeper and would only sleep on me. She would scream bloody murder for as long as she could if she wasn’t in my arms. Once I started co-sleeping with her, we both got longer stretches of sleep, and she was sleeping 8hr stretches by 1mo at night.
As soon as she started rolling, I worked hard to transition her to her own bed (which was the playpen with a bassinet insert in it until she could sit up on her own). There was a lot of struggle and back and forth trying to get her to stay in her own bed, and some naps were 15-30mins. It didn’t exactly help that I decided to do this during her 4mos regression, but I didn’t have much of a choice.
Regardless, she eventually did okay with night sleep (I usually had to stay in the room until she was asleep though…and this continued for a long time, but I personally didn’t mind because it gave me some reading time). Honestly, I did this until she was 2yrs old, and I just didn’t bother trying to “fix it” because I enjoyed the time.
However, it does come with a price…because daytime sleep was always almost in my arms or beside me on the couch for a long while…even past the 3mos. She ended up never being much of a day sleeper at all, so it may have just been how she was.
NOW, with my new 3mos old, she is such a different sleeper than my first. She sleeps in her bassinet, and has from the very beginning. Yes, there are times where she contact sleeps, especially now that she’s going through her own 4mos regression, but it’s not as debilitating. Usually, she’ll sleep from 10:30pm-6:30am in her own bed, but if she DOES wake up earlier, I’ll co-sleep with her until it’s wake-up time. Some naps, if she’s extra fussy, I’ll lay with her on the couch/floor. Some naps I’ll hold her for the whole 40mins or so (thanks to the regression they’ve shortened, but she used to have 1-3hr naps in her bassinet before).
I’m currently trying to get her to fall asleep on her own, instead of in my arms or with me next to her, and that’s the one thing I wish I did more consistently with my first. But now that I have my 4yo, I don’t have the time to sit with the littlest one until she falls asleep anymore.
All in All: you do what is best for you, as long as you are informed and can do so safely. It worked out for my situation, and I know others who have successfully co-slept as well, and some who have not (because their children still need to co-sleep with them at 5+yrs…).