Child Care is Expensive, or Why I Bought My Mother-In-Law a Car

[sandraqx10]

@brandonhi Props for the grandmas who are STILL providing free labour to their families.

The car option is only "cheaper" because grandma doesn't charge what she is worth. Which is way more than daycare.

 

[brandonhi]

@sandraqx10 Oh definitely, the car is the least we could do for her.

 

[sandraqx10]

@brandonhi I think about what my MIL has been through in her life, I would lay down in the mud to keep her feet dry. She was married with children before she could have a bank account. (Her hubby was a great man they loved each other and had a good life). She had to grow up fast to care for her own sick mother before she got married. She raised her siblings.

She qualified as a HCA, a bookkeeper. She just made life work, whatever she was handed.

And now in her golden years she is still helping family.

I love how she talks to the kids.

"You can play nicely and stay in the living room, or if you throw that lego at your sister you will be in your room where you can't hurt anyone. Could happen!"

I love how she tells them "could happen!"

They are infinitely better behaved for her. Omg.

 

[starbrite1]

@brandonhi Makes total sense but I'm trying to figure out how you found a daycare where the Part-Time costs are actually a significant discount. For comparison, our full-time rate is quite a bit cheaper than yours, but our part-time rate is more expensive.

 

[brandonhi]

@starbrite1 I just did the math, it is weird lol.

 

[rls]

@brandonhi We bought a new house so my MIL could watch the kid 3x days a week. And I also live my in-laws now

 

[ceecee]

@brandonhi I feel you. My wife quit her career (involving early and off-hours shifts) because the cost of day care and nannies in our city is so expensive we would just about break even with her job. Once we have a second kid the difference will be even more drastic…

 

[patrick1980]

@brandonhi Resell value isn't that great in general, but at least you will have an extra car.

 

[truthendures]

@brandonhi I bought my SIL a car for the same reasons

 

[angelo242]

@brandonhi Good to know some daycares will allow just the odd day here or there. We’re in an almost identical situation with my MIL kindly offering to look after the baby 3 days a week.

 

[luckymomx3]

@brandonhi It's important IMO to distinguish between the cost of childcare and the expense of childcare. The Cost of Childcare is expensive b/c having trained professionals watching multiple children 8+ hours a day for a livable wage costs money. The margins on daycares are quite thin. Basically, the cost of daycare makes sense.

What doesn't make sense is how that cost is not subsidized by the government in the US. Forcing that cost onto the parents constrains their ability to work and contribute to the economy. There is a reason why universal Pre-K is shown to have a positive impact, and it should be extended to Universal Childcare.

 

[believersasone]

@brandonhi Why do you not protest against this? Where is the mass uprising to force an affordable standard of living?

 

[brandonhi]

@believersasone Well, if younger people actually voted, maybe something would happen.

 

[believersasone]

@brandonhi You should all come to Europe. We have baguettes and childcare.

 

[brandonhi]

@believersasone I’m more of a semolina bread kind of fella!

 

[believersasone]

@brandonhi Well stay there and pay childcare then (joke).

But I do seriously wonder how you all put up with it. From afar, being in America seems scary, dangerous, expensive; and it seems like the work/life balance is backwards.

 

[brandonhi]

@believersasone The news loves to make it seem like the country is burning. Sure, some places are dangerous, and yes things have gotten expensive. There are a lot of things that need to be changed, but in reality it’s not nearly as bad as the media makes it seem.

I think one of our biggest issues is that our country is run by people that are insanely old and out of touch. There’s also a political base that still believes we live in the frontier era and that individual responsibility is still feasible.

I don’t want to get political, but things are bad. But they’re also great.

 

[believersasone]

@brandonhi We're definitely missing hearing any good news about life over there, all we hear are school shootings and presidential trials.

 

[brandonhi]

@believersasone Keep in mind school shootings are exceedingly rare, they also count things like two idiots going at it in a parking lot at 1am. It’s definitely an issue, but not nearly as pervasive at it seems.

The trials against Trump mean the system is working, and that nobody is above the law.

Unfortunately the “news” is all about ratings, so they’re going to play the most sensational things they can to get more viewers.

 

[ariston]

@believersasone Its not that dangerous. Its expensive in some ways but makes up for it in other ways. Work/life balance is wrecked but i think fortunes can be made easier in america. Its got pros and cons. I wish the voting populace werent so stupid to vote against their interests but pros and cons.

Europe is great but as an avid traveler and ethnically asian, i wouldnt want to live there. Visiting is great and all but its not my cup of tea. Too bland for me.

I honestly think (if you have enough money) that southern california is one of the best places to live in the world. We have diversity, good food options, entertainment options galore, easy and plentiful flights of 10h or so to both europe and asia. Our healthcare and social services are the best in the nation and min wage and income is quite strong relative to rest of america. The large population means you can make a fortune and we have all the infrastructure you need if you wanted to make startups.