Can't give up, but it's so hard

justin017878

New member
Single mom here, we've recently become homeless, and shortly after lost our car. Our landlord wanted to charge more rent, so didn't renew our lease, and my co signer had said she's pay the car for a little bit while we got back on our feet, then I found out she didn't when it was gone one morning when I left for work. Got repossessed overnight. We're living in a shelter rn. My ex stopped paying child support, his half of medical, and refuses to reimburse me for his portion of a medical procedure from over a year ago. Went to court, that took 8 mos just for a hearing, judgement against him, and still no money. Have to wait until the revisit hearing already scheduled for fall. I've been admonished by the shelter for buying my own food, saying I'm spending too much on food and how will I save money to move out, and should eat what they provide. Half the time it's rancid, and when it's not, it's 1/4 c rice, 1/4 c veggies and a 1/2 c meat or tofu. We each get one "meal" per day. I had to surrender our family pet to get into the shelter. I have to ask for toilet paper. Cockroaches come out of the walls at every turn. I hate it here. The program is supposed to help us with a security deposit, but I can't get the administration to return my communication. I find 2 or more places each week. I need their help because I still owe my previous landlord a bunch of clean out charges, we didn't leave it dirty at all, but don't have the resources to argue. I work full time, make pretty good money, but spend almost half my income on food (prepared foods are very expensive and we have no resources to cook our own). I'm so tired. I fight tooth and nail to drag us out of where we are, and feel like I fail every time. My youngest is angry we live here, and don't have a car. We take the bus when we can, but it doesn't go everywhere, and a lot of the time, it takes 2-3+ hours to get to where we need to. I'm doing this alone and it's so hard. I know I can't give up. I feel like I have no support. One of my friends actually told me this is a blessing, and I should be grateful. I feel so lonely all the time. I'm fighting for everything on my own and I'm so tired, and overwhelmed, and I really hate my life. I'm tired of putting on this happy face. K, thanks for listening.
 
@katrina2017 I've been divorced going on 7 years. I know everything will be fine eventually. Things were fine before. Things were really great actually. And now they're not.

I'm just talking about being tired of doing everything on my own. I'm tired of not having support from other adults. I'm exhausted by constantly fighting everything and having only myself to count on for validation.

And I don't think putting on a happy face is healthy, I'm referencing pretending everything is ok, so I'm not crying all the time, can do my job, and take care of my kids. I'm 100% emotionally drained.
 
@justin017878 I heard recently that single and divorced moms are moving in together, and sharing the workload of household chores and babysitting. I'll see if I can find the post where I saw it.

I know this isn't a huge help, and someone telling you how you should feel doesn't validate your feelings. It absolutely makes it worse, I am sorry
 
@justin017878 My momma friend. I'm very sorry with what you're going through. Im scared of being there soon. But i can understand and feel all you and your little ones are going through. I know you are strong and resilient. And your are an awesome Momma Bear.

I was wondering, Is there a housing program that your state Can help you with? Can your state help with food and financial assistance? Is there a way to fight for child support? I so dont like cm court battles and ive give through so many of them i ended up broke. I was wondering, i don't know what your religious beliefs are, but is it Okay, if I Say a prayer? If not, it's okay to delete this post. I will keep you in my heart and you might prayers always. I sent you hope, strength, peace of mind and love.

Dear Father,
Thank you for my friend and her little ones. You are an all loving God and i know that if i ask you will answer or i will keep knocking on your door. I and asking for help for my friend here. She and her children are not living in good conditions. Please root them out where they are And plant them in a home that will bring peace of mind. Please bless my friend and their family. They have been through so much. Place then in secret Place of the Most High and protect them And please comfort them under the shadow of your wings. My loving Father i know what's going on in their life hurtz you too, so Papa God, i bless them and ask you to be their guide. I bless you and love you my Papa and i give you all the praise. In Jesus name, Amen
 
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