C-section recovery w NICU baby

[mathman141]

This is so hard trying to recover from C-section while my baby is in the NICU ! I know the staff is there for the baby, but it’s like they don’t realize the mom is TORN UP!! I need a bed to rest in, a bathroom that is easily accessible from inside the NICU unit, nutritious food, and support while I try to breastfeed my baby as much as possible!! I’m exhausted, but I don’t want to spend much time at home because my baby needs me. Anyone advice/help/commiserating would be great

 

[brit218932]

@mathman141 I have been through the ringer since giving birth almost 2 months ago. Emergency c-section while I had COVID, then a massive collection of fluid at my incision that required two more surgeries along with a wound vac and a bulb drain, then an infection and an allergic reaction to the IV antibiotics. Only got the drain out today and I am still periodically getting hives. As soon as I got cleared to visit my son I went overboard trying to be there all day with him. I absolutely burnt myself out trying to make up for the time I couldn’t be there with him after birth. We were lucky in that originally there was a pull out couch to sleep on, which I did do occasionally. I was still a sleepy, weepy mess though. As several NICU nurses have said to me you need to exercise the oxygen mask principle when you have a kid in the NICU and you’re sick yourself. You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of your baby. It’s hard to accept but your baby is being cared for even when you can’t be there to care for them. Try to set a limit to the amount of time you’re there. I struggle with this but my wife is very good at helping me leave after it’s been a few hours. Hopefully your partner can help you with this. It’s amazing that you’re getting breastfeeding in but you cannot be there to breastfeed them for all feeds. Figure out a pumping schedule that can accommodate whatever care times you’re able to be there for and then go home. Eat the good food. Sleep in your own bed-and nap as much as you can! Once I stopped trying to do it all I felt so much better-even when I was readmitted to the hospital for complications. When I talked through this with my therapist she reminded me that while it feels like forever now in awhile it will be a blip in their/your life. It is very hard but it will pass. Take care of yourself. I hope things get better for you soon.

 

[beslowtoanger]

@brit218932 I had a super similar fluid collection/infection/ wound vac/drain with my c section! Solidarity, that was horrible! I’ve never met anyone that went through what I went through with my c section recovery!

 

[blessedisshe]

@brit218932 I’m sorry you had to go through that. I didn’t have a wound vac, but I got readmitted and needed a bulb drain. After that I was only able to spend a few hours in the NICU at a time because I was just so exhausted fighting off the infection. Then 2 weeks later had to go to the ER again and they lanced it on the spot. I was so sick from oral antibiotics that I was non stop throwing up even with nausea medicine. I’m afraid because I am now about 4 weeks out from the ER visit and I have another spot coming back that bothers me. I hope for nothing but the best for you and your family.

 

[ladydenise226]

@mathman141 Oh man, yes to this. I was recovering from an emergency CSection with a 28 weeker who went straight to the NICU. I wasn't allowed to hold her for a whole week.

I honestly don't know what got me through it, but here are some things that helped.
- Your baby absolutely needs you. But as a mother, it is imperative we put our own masks on first. We need to be healthy, sleep, drink water, take our medicine, shower - at the very least.
- If you choose, you can help your baby by getting pumping this very second, and sending every drop up to the NICU. They will give it to her first before donor milk, etc. Your body will still be feeding and nourishing her.
- Go to the NICU as much as you want, but don't overdo it. You just had major surgery, you grew a HUMAN. That is a miracle.
- Do skin to skin with your baby as much as you want. My little girl was in the NICU for 70 days, and I was there every day. It helps them regulate temperature, calms them, and although their eyes cannot see well yet, they can smell you and they know your voice. Sing, read, just talk. Anything.

I know this probably sounds like very little, but your baby is in the best place they can be right now. And seriously, just feel all the feels. Cry, scream, be irrational, be overly protective, shout your needs and wants for your baby to the universe. And honestly, therapy helps, even for a few sessions. This is traumatic and hard and terrible. Ask for help, and don't feel guilty about it. This is your time to heal and rest so when you take that precious child home, you can fully be her mom.

 

[jacpal]

@mathman141 I’m sorry you are going through this, it truly is so difficult. The advice I was given was to let my body heal. Which is so hard because you want to be there for your baby. If it’s possible try to take some time to heal, like 3-4 days. You need to recover and take care of yourself first. Then you’ll be able to be there to help care for your baby.

A c-section is quite a big surgery and you need to take the time to recover. While you rest you can still pump and send the milk to the NICU.

I was really distraught over not being able to be with my baby girl due to strict hospital regulations (no parents in the NICU). I still am. But my dad reminded me when I was a baby in the NICU for two weeks I never remembered it.

Take some time to regain your strength. If you overdo it you may end up needing even more time to recover.

 

[notworthconsideration]

@mathman141 It is hard. That guilt is real.

Give yourself permission to be away to take care of you! The faster you heal, the quicker you'll be ready to go the extra mile for your little one.

I pushed myself to be there as long as I could. I ended up in triage a few times from overdoing it.

I had to slow down. I ended up missing a bunch of days as my body just couldn't do it. I decided I would go for a couple hours jn the morning and again in the evening. If I planned it right, I could be for 3 feedings and bedtime.

My guy spent 19 days in NICU. He was born at 32+6 due to preeclampsia. I was able to get a little but of healing before bringing him home.

 

[student1963]

@mathman141 It’s so, so hard! The walk from the parking garage to the NICU and even the walk from baby’s room to the bathrooms was excruciating for the first couple weeks of recovery. Use wheelchairs when you need to, and give yourself grace if you need to have a more restful day.

 

[kevintri99]

@mathman141 It’s a lot. I’ve done it twice now and my biggest tip is to tell the NICU staff what you need. A chair that’s easier to get in and out of, someone to help you up, an extra pillow…. or just time to rest in your room. It’s all okay to ask!

Congratulations and hope you heal well and quickly.

 

[starofeden]

@mathman141 im about to have a c section (30th) and my baby needs to come out at 34 weeks due to blood flow issues and she has gastrochisis
sorry this isnt advice or help but im here if you need to vent

 

[tono77]

@mathman141 This was so hard for me too! I was told to give myself time to rest at home which went against all my natural instincts. I felt so guilty but that advice was 100 percent correct. If your baby is a long hauler like mine, it’s a marathon not a sprint and best to take time to rest so you can show up consistently.

In the beginning when recovering I still went everyday but did shorter visits and worked my way up until I was feeling well enough to spend 8ish hours a day there. My c-section recovery was pretty quick so it was not a long time.

I got so so mad when people said that at least I could sleep through the night. It definitely was an insensitive comment because of course we would rather our babies were home. But it is true that it’s a tiny silver lining that you can rest up and recover more than if baby was home. Your baby needs a healthy rested mama!

 

[mathman141]

@tono77 I literally have to take half a unisom to make myself sleep at night I hear the baby monitors and my baby crying in my dreams

 

[evar]

@mathman141 I’m three months postpartum from delivering my twins 11 weeks early. One is home and one is still in the NICU. I had one vaginally and the other C Section. Let me tell you there was 0 proper recovery time. My oldest twin developed NEC and almost died at 5 days old. I was walking back and forth to the hospital multiple times a day, running up and down stairs to be able to see him to the OR. Pumping around the clock since both babies couldn’t eat yet. It was by far one of the hardest things I’ve got through. It’s so important that you take care of yourself. Any amount of time you can spend at the hospital is enough. I had two babies in the NICU and a two year old at home so I would usually spend 2-3 hours a day in the NICU when my babies stabilized. The last week before my youngest went home I would go every three hours to breastfeed before he came home. I was staying at a Ronald McDonald house so I was able to walk back and forth.

Just find a grove that works for your family but make sure to take care of yourself. The nurses are there to support you

 

[shawnwesterberg]

@mathman141 I had my baby at 34+3 and while she was only in the nicu for 1 week I was hard. What helped me was having my husband there to assist me with moving from point a to point b. I sat in a wheelchair because it was comfortable and the nurses in the beginning gave her to us. When we knew how to get her out and I was strong enough we go her ourselves. I also wore the belly binder for more support and it helped tremendously.

 

[jefhe08]

@mathman141 My baby was in the NICU for 50 days and for about half of that time we would only go once a day and stay for about 3 hours. C-section recovery is very tough! The first few days we would visit my husband would get a wheelchair and wheel me all the way to the NICU. Once I got through the first couple weeks I tried to go twice a day but it was still too much for me, physically and emotionally (every time we left I was a mess). Plus trying to time our visits with my pumping times and trying to eat well so my milk supply would increase was just too much. The mom guilt and sadness of thinking about my baby girl “alone” there was very intense but my husband always said that I have to take care of myself too. That our baby girl needs me and therefore I had to be as healthy as possible for when she came home. One of her nurses very early on gave us great advice, since she knew I had a c-section. She said to not push it too much and not get sucked in to the point of staying all day long at the hospital, because she’s seen so many moms do this and then they end up not showing up for a few days all of sudden because they pushed it too much. After about a month I felt much better physically and emotionally, since she was also doing much better. So then we started going twice a day. Bottom line though is you’re not a bad mom for taking care of yourself as well, on the contrary, you’re taking care of yourself so you can be the best mom possible for your baby. Sending you virtual hugs, you will get through this and hopefully your baby can come home soon

 

[pnwgirl]

@mathman141 I feel you. It found it really hard as well. I was walking (my room was far away from NICU) and sitting way too much. Got much better once my twins got a room where I could stay too, but I’m aware not every hospital has those. They were moved to a specialised children’s hospital, where parents are allowed to sleep in their children’s rooms. It was a real game changer for me!

 

[mathman141]

@pnwgirl I wish we had a room to stay w baby in. I am thankful the chair I have reclines.

 

[shawnee77]

@mathman141 I'm 6 months pp from a csection, my daughter was also a nicu baby. I was there for 4 feedings outta the day, would pump at the nicu too. I was discharged within 24 hours and went to see her at the nicu the same day. The hospital that I delivered at didn't have a nicu. Basically lived at the nicu for the month she was there and walked myself outta the hospital at discharge. It's hard but you'll get thru it. Keep working hard for your baby mama

 

[mathman141]

@shawnee77 I’m here for 4 feedings a day and pumping here. It’s kinda lonely at my hospital especially at night when everyone leaves.

 

[sewbird]

@mathman141 I had my son at 28+5wks as emergency C. I was nursed on a maternity ward, the NICU was 2 floors above. I've always said NICU mums need to be nursed closure to NICU with immediate access to counsellors.

It does get easier, it just takes time.