@gallaghermichale Hey, if that's the case, that's the data I was after. Got no frame of reference, no adult friends, and fuck if my childhood worked this way.
@amyers3 it isn’t life for everyone! growing up with immigrant parents who were new to this country and culture, we did not go to nearly any activities or sports or things. but it really depends on what you think is important or valuable, which is the hard part of life. You can’t do it all so you have to pick and choose where you want to put energy into.
@amyers3 Up at 6, bus at 7, they're home by 3, I wfh so I'm here to get them off the bus. I work till 5, make dinner, bath and bedtime routine starts 6-7 for the younger and 7-8 for the older. Time to ourselves after that. One of us takes bedtime and the other takes dishes, trade off daily so we each get a fair share of both.
It's grindy through the week for sure. Can't wait for middle school when they get to sleep later (bus at 8).
@amyers3 This is more or less our deal, except that our youngest is a terrible sleeper that wakes up after 45 mins and needs comforting for the rest of the eve. So basically my day ends at about 08:30.
Oh also I would say that if you have time to exercise and play games you are doing pretty well. We are lucky if we get to watch more than 15 mins of tv.
@amyers3 My wife and both work full time, full stop. She's basically 8-5:30 or 6, I'm like 9-6. Office jobs, both hybrid remote/in-office. Our kids are 6 and 9.
We thought about a variety of different options to make it work. Where we live, there's a couple of approaches, for those people like us who don't have family nearby who are willing to help out.
After school programs. This is a pretty decent option, kids get bussed their directly from school, everyone who goes seems to really like it. The only issues are that there's limited spots, it can get a little pricy, and you absolutely have to pick your kids up when it's over (5 or 5:30, I'm not positive.)
Nanny. This is kind of a shit option for when you're kids are in school - it's very hard to find someone just for the afternoon hours, we tried for a bit and it was a rotating cast of characters, just about all of whom weren't great. The last and best one was a teacher who was looking for some extra money, he stayed with us the longest, but eventually he wanted his afternoons free so it kind of forced our hand. Our friends who have nannies pay for a full day (because that's the only way they can get anyone to agree to do it) even though they really only need a couple of hours in the afternoon. On the plus side, you basically have your needs covered. But it's crazy expensive.
Nanny share. This is sort of a corollary to #2. I've heard of more people doing it in cities than where we are (suburbs). This seems like a pretty good option, especially for older kids who need less supervision. The only issues become coordinating schedules as they have to go to various activities. But certainly cheaper than paying for a nanny on your own.
Au pair. This is what we did. You need to have the house for it (our house is set up pretty well in that regard) and you need to be OK having a new person every year or two, and having someone live in the house with you. But it's cheaper than a nanny and provides a lot of flexibility. It's worked out extremely well for us. The program is currently being reviewed and potentially changed to make it a lot more expensive, which will make it less appealing to many families (like us) but we'll see.
Parent stays home or works part-time. Obviously that wasn't something we were interested in looking into but a lot of families either choose this or are forced into it. I can say that getting back into the workforce, if you do decide to do so, can be a challenge, and obviously the loss of income and retirement savings can be hard to make up for.
Those are the options where we are. I was a latchkey kid, basically on my own after school from grade 2 onward. I've been told that that is no longer an acceptable option and you're likely to get CPS called on you - I personally think that's bullshit but I don't make the rules.
