Birth preferences (C-section or vaginal)
- Thread starter chris516
- Start date
-
- Tags
- waiting for baby
fallingupwards
New member
@chris516 I used to be quite on the fence, thinking that a caesarean would be easier - similar reasons, I'm terrified of the pain. The period cramps I get from endometriosis are literally unbearable so there's noooo way I'll be able to deal with birth.
But then I had a laparoscopy, and oh my god. The recovery from 3 tiny little holes poked in my belly was absolutely dreadful. I couldn't walk for days without heavy assistance, I couldn't lift anything for weeks. I was miserable and in pain every waking minute, and slept for 20 hours a day the first few days. I cannot imagine the recovery from a caesarean. It was enough to totally change my mind, even though I'm not sure how I'll actually be able to cope with vaginal delivery.
But then I had a laparoscopy, and oh my god. The recovery from 3 tiny little holes poked in my belly was absolutely dreadful. I couldn't walk for days without heavy assistance, I couldn't lift anything for weeks. I was miserable and in pain every waking minute, and slept for 20 hours a day the first few days. I cannot imagine the recovery from a caesarean. It was enough to totally change my mind, even though I'm not sure how I'll actually be able to cope with vaginal delivery.
katrina2017
New member
@chris516 With my first I tore almost all the way to my asshole. I would still opt for a vaginal birth, the pain from that didn’t last very long and it was easy to keep numbed up. My second L&D was also vaginal and a complete breeze, I felt great after having her with no stitches or issues.
I’ve heard C-sections are really hard, that people don’t realize how much of your movement comes from those muscles until they have them. It scares me honestly even with my almost butthole tear.
I’ve heard C-sections are really hard, that people don’t realize how much of your movement comes from those muscles until they have them. It scares me honestly even with my almost butthole tear.
champion11
New member
@chris516 I 100% believe (strongly) that you have the right to make this decision and no other person should give you a hard time about it, at all. It's simply your business and your business alone.
One thing I would like to point out though (I desperately wish I had been mentally prepared for this concept) is that, unfortunately, we have no idea which option will be more painful/traumatic for our bodies. I know women who had pretty easy c-sections, and women who had horrific pain and recovery from c-section delivery. I know women who had "textbook" vaginal deliveries with great epidurals or pain they felt was really manageable, and then had horrible recoveries from vaginal deliveries or had beautiful recoveries.I personally had an excruciating and long vaginal delivery that I wasn't mentally prepared for at all (I requested an epidural early and it failed)- but I felt 100% better the next day, an experience not many women share. The point is, sadly, you often don't get to decide how much pain you experience during birth as different procedures have different levels of pain for each individual body.
One thing I would like to point out though (I desperately wish I had been mentally prepared for this concept) is that, unfortunately, we have no idea which option will be more painful/traumatic for our bodies. I know women who had pretty easy c-sections, and women who had horrific pain and recovery from c-section delivery. I know women who had "textbook" vaginal deliveries with great epidurals or pain they felt was really manageable, and then had horrible recoveries from vaginal deliveries or had beautiful recoveries.I personally had an excruciating and long vaginal delivery that I wasn't mentally prepared for at all (I requested an epidural early and it failed)- but I felt 100% better the next day, an experience not many women share. The point is, sadly, you often don't get to decide how much pain you experience during birth as different procedures have different levels of pain for each individual body.
@chris516 I don't think rates of birth trauma are higher with vaginal births than c-sections. I would guess the opposite, since many women who have c-sections only have them when something goes wrong. In general, c-section recovery is a lot more difficult than vaginal birth recovery - it is major surgery. Here's an article about it:
And another:
C-sections can of course be live-saving and there are legitimate reasons to choose one, but there is a reason there is an expert consensus that they should not be the first go-to, and it seems misguided to me to choose it to avoid pain and risk. If you want to minimize pain, epidural is the way to go, not c-section.
I had a vaginal birth with an epidural with my first and hope to have one for future deliveries. I'll of course get a c-section if my or the baby's life and health is at risk but not otherwise.
And another:
C-sections can of course be live-saving and there are legitimate reasons to choose one, but there is a reason there is an expert consensus that they should not be the first go-to, and it seems misguided to me to choose it to avoid pain and risk. If you want to minimize pain, epidural is the way to go, not c-section.
I had a vaginal birth with an epidural with my first and hope to have one for future deliveries. I'll of course get a c-section if my or the baby's life and health is at risk but not otherwise.
katrina2017
New member
@chris516 I had my son vaginally with an epidural. No trauma mentally or physically really. 2nd degree tear that was healed by 6 weeks. No issues holding my pee/poo. I don’t pee when I laugh or sneez or exercise...or whenever else. Sex was totally normal by 4 months. Everything looks and feels the same as it was before. With number 2 I’d like to not get an epidural and have another vaginal delivery. I would never want a c-section. But to each their own.
@chris516 I am so scared of the vaginal trauma associated with birth.
I hear so many stories of women peeing themselves for the rest of their lives and it scares me so badly. I dont want to be afraid of every sneeze.
I am going to have to beg for one though, because they really push natural birth in the country I live in.
I hear so many stories of women peeing themselves for the rest of their lives and it scares me so badly. I dont want to be afraid of every sneeze.
I am going to have to beg for one though, because they really push natural birth in the country I live in.
@chris516 I would advise you to keep an open mind. Your feelings now vs. when you’re pregnant may be completely different. I had a medically necessary c-section after really wanting to attempt a vaginal birth, but c-section ultimately was the safest route of delivery for me. I received some judgment for taking the “easy way out” and personal mourning over my original birth plan. Everyone’s recovery experiences are SO different, regardless of the method.
rubichudhari45
New member
@chris516 Vaginal for sure. My first vaginal birth was fast (less than 4 hours), we left the hospital 2 hours later and my recovery was fast. I had a 2nd degree tear but I didn’t have any pain from it, the only PP issue I had was feeling light headed from having low iron in my third trimester and a rash from my epidural tape.
Next time I’d try to avoid an epidural because I hated the rash, it took up most of my back and lasted over a week and was so itchy but hurt to scratch.
Next time I’d try to avoid an epidural because I hated the rash, it took up most of my back and lasted over a week and was so itchy but hurt to scratch.
@rubichudhari45 I mean, you could just ask for the hypoallergenic tape instead rather than avoiding the whole epidural...
rubichudhari45
New member
@chris516 Having had a vaginal birth already, there is zero way I would do it ever again. If I have more kids I’ll be having a planned caesarean. I know it’s a hard long recovery and major surgery, but I personally believe nothing could be worse than what I experienced giving birth. And hopefully I wouldn’t be left with lifelong injuries next time too, fingers crossed.
I know lots of people who wanted a c section because they wanted a c section and didn’t regret it. Don’t let anyone tell you what type of birth to have. People talk about the recovery from a c section but rarely about the recovery from a vaginal birth, especially if it doesn’t go smoothly. I absolutely expected to ‘bounce right back’ as they say and oh god. I did not anticipate how the aftermath would be. I’m a year on now and I will never be able to use the bathroom the same way again. It blows.
I know anecdote isn’t data but having had a vaginal birth I had major serious issues with bf whereas friends who had c sections had no issues at all with supply. And I’ve also had friends say the recovery wasn’t really as bad as they expected. I really wish I’d had a c section but hindsight is always 20/20 isn’t it!
I know lots of people who wanted a c section because they wanted a c section and didn’t regret it. Don’t let anyone tell you what type of birth to have. People talk about the recovery from a c section but rarely about the recovery from a vaginal birth, especially if it doesn’t go smoothly. I absolutely expected to ‘bounce right back’ as they say and oh god. I did not anticipate how the aftermath would be. I’m a year on now and I will never be able to use the bathroom the same way again. It blows.
I know anecdote isn’t data but having had a vaginal birth I had major serious issues with bf whereas friends who had c sections had no issues at all with supply. And I’ve also had friends say the recovery wasn’t really as bad as they expected. I really wish I’d had a c section but hindsight is always 20/20 isn’t it!
mrstraightforward
New member
shericewilliams701
New member
@shericewilliams701 I’m so sorry you went through that! That sounds horrific.
I find it frustrating that when you’re pregnant people make out like a vaginal birth is easier to recover from. Like sometimes, sure? But what about the many mothers who end up with extremely physically traumatic labours? Those of us who required ventouse or forceps or episiotomies, who tore or whose stitches came undone, who ended up retaining placentas or whose babies were stuck in the birth canal for so long it left them with lifelong injuries?
A straightforward simple vaginal birth with a smooth recovery ain’t that common in my own friend circle tbh, and even the ones who had that still experienced significant pain after.
We need to be far more honest with women instead of ‘c section is major surgery, avoid it at all costs, you recover quicker from a vaginal birth’ which isn’t universal by any means.
I find it frustrating that when you’re pregnant people make out like a vaginal birth is easier to recover from. Like sometimes, sure? But what about the many mothers who end up with extremely physically traumatic labours? Those of us who required ventouse or forceps or episiotomies, who tore or whose stitches came undone, who ended up retaining placentas or whose babies were stuck in the birth canal for so long it left them with lifelong injuries?
A straightforward simple vaginal birth with a smooth recovery ain’t that common in my own friend circle tbh, and even the ones who had that still experienced significant pain after.
We need to be far more honest with women instead of ‘c section is major surgery, avoid it at all costs, you recover quicker from a vaginal birth’ which isn’t universal by any means.
shericewilliams701
New member
@vera7 Thank you, I couldn’t agree more. I’m sorry you went through such an awful experience. With my first the expectation was that vaginal delivery was no big deal. My in laws showed up quickly to visit ( and everyday for a week) and got to enjoy the baby and I was expected to be up and about even though I hadn’t had any sleep for 3 days. With surgery people are so much more respectful. I don’t think it occurs to people that recovery can be just as bad if not worse with a vaginal delivery. And who wants to tell people the gory details.
By contrast with my c section, I had, had some sleep the night before (less than normal due to nerves) but better than missing 3 nights sleep! after giving birth I was on bed rest for 12 hours (Standard) so actually got to recover some. My husband felt like the c section was easier on him too. Even though I didn’t change a diaper for 2 days, he felt we hadn’t missed much sleep and it was less stressful. I was off narcotics within 24 hours and walking the floors. The spinal burns a bit and the first time you stand up hurts but it was nothing compared to the pain of natural labor contractions. I couldn’t believe I was holding my baby without a single painful contraction.
I know a few people who have had positive vaginal births or inductions with 8 hours of labor and epidural at a 4, and no tearing but that seems like the exception not the norm. Planned c sections are pretty consistent whereas with vaginal deliveries you never know what you will get.
I understand that a c section is a major surgery and doctors are under pressure to reduce the number. I a, sure emergency c sections are scary too and to go through that after some labor would be awful... But I do feel slight jealousy when moms complain when their doctors tell them they need a planned c section for first baby (e.g. breech). They have no idea how lucky they are to skip labor.
By contrast with my c section, I had, had some sleep the night before (less than normal due to nerves) but better than missing 3 nights sleep! after giving birth I was on bed rest for 12 hours (Standard) so actually got to recover some. My husband felt like the c section was easier on him too. Even though I didn’t change a diaper for 2 days, he felt we hadn’t missed much sleep and it was less stressful. I was off narcotics within 24 hours and walking the floors. The spinal burns a bit and the first time you stand up hurts but it was nothing compared to the pain of natural labor contractions. I couldn’t believe I was holding my baby without a single painful contraction.
I know a few people who have had positive vaginal births or inductions with 8 hours of labor and epidural at a 4, and no tearing but that seems like the exception not the norm. Planned c sections are pretty consistent whereas with vaginal deliveries you never know what you will get.
I understand that a c section is a major surgery and doctors are under pressure to reduce the number. I a, sure emergency c sections are scary too and to go through that after some labor would be awful... But I do feel slight jealousy when moms complain when their doctors tell them they need a planned c section for first baby (e.g. breech). They have no idea how lucky they are to skip labor.
@chris516 There are health risks for a baby born c section too. Make sure you look into those. Obviously get your info from your doctor but babies get a lot of their microbiome from going through the vagina, and the microbiome is now linked to all sorts of stuff like allergies and asthma.
Doesn't guarantee anything just something to think about. Also look into thoracic squeeze. Helps clear the baby's airway during vaginal delivery and may reduce respiratory complications.
Doesn't guarantee anything just something to think about. Also look into thoracic squeeze. Helps clear the baby's airway during vaginal delivery and may reduce respiratory complications.