Bedtime issues with 3 y/o

[pslyuen]

I know this is a classic issue and there are lots of helpful articles online about “building in choice” and routines. But what is the best approach if your kid just refuses to do anything? For instance we go upstairs and it’s time for bath so we have to take off clothes. You ask her if she wants to or if she wants help, but she ignores you and runs to hide in the curtains and waiting her out can go on for 15-20 minutes. You ask calmly and patiently but she just ignores you and wants to make a game out of it (ie run away from you and hide or really anything except what she needs to do) Do you just sit there quietly? Leave and come back? Take her clothes off?

We have an established routine, offer choices appropriate for her age, but some nights she just refuses at every step and it’s not clear what the best way to address it is. Is holding the boundary taking the clothes off? Not engaging with her until she gets undressed?

Sorry if this is obvious, I’m just not sure!

 

[elly1]

@pslyuen I guess it can depend on what you're comfortable with. Does she have anything in the bath that she can play with? Perhaps you can lure her by offering her something she'd be interested in? Especially if it's not necessarily a toy-- like a soup spoon or ladle I can't remember, a plastic cup from the kitchen, a small towel (idk my kids will love swishing towels around in the bath), etc.

Tbh I would probably try the gentle approach 2-3 times (not for minutes and minutes though) before just putting my kid in. Generally it can be a fight to get in and out but once they're in they're fine. If you're at the end of your rope, it's totally fine to skip it and/or just get high traffic areas clean. Using a baby wipe or a towel or whatever. It's okay. I would compare it to a diaper change and brushing teeth-- the kid can fight and say no but it's gotta happen (except I'm a bit more lenient about the baths being 4 kids in, I pick my battles haha).

 

[h312]

@pslyuen She's not the type to respond to choices. Hygiene is non-negotiable. Pick her up and put her in the bath. Period. She can have her feelings, but the routine doesn't change.