@max2800 This comment section is wild. You are doing an excellent job! She's a happy, healthy, and independent eater. That's the goal! I wouldn't change a thing and would continue to follow your child's lead. Raising an intuitive and independent eater is the goal. That's the whole point of baby-led weaning, which it sounds like you're doing. Check out r/babyledweaning; I don't think that crowd would have the same reaction as this one.
And as for over-feeding, it actually more likely to overfeed with formula than by letting your baby make those decisions with real food. The whole point of BLW is to let your baby decide when they're full. Remember this for the toddler years: you offer the food choices (ie healthy options on the plate) and they decide how much of what goes in their mouths.
I just wouldn't stress over this. It's not worth your mental health. Your kid is doing great.
FWIW, I've weaned two kids both with BLW (and breastfeeding). They both cut down their milk intake significantly around 10 months and were only on 2–3 short feeds/day. Mostly for the comfort at that point. With breastfeeding, you don't even know how much they get. My pediatrician was happy with everything I've done and there were no concerns that they weaned too early or weren't taking enough milk. Oldest weaned completely at 14m youngest at 13m. They eat diverse foods everyday and have never slipped from their growth curves.
Again, you're doing great. It might be worth it for you to have a chat with your healthcare provider though for your benefit. While you're there you might consider asking about PPA. I'm a little concerned that you've spoken with your ped a couple of times about this and they've reassured you that all is well. You seem to be fixating on your child's food intake. And I get it, you mentioned you're a picky eater and that your baby was born prematurely. That can cause stress and anxiety. It might be a good idea to talk to someone about this. Postpartum anxiety affects so many of us in so many different ways and can hit at any point within the first year. Take care of yourself mama. Your baby needs a healthy you. The best thing you can do for your child is be healthy yourself. Wishing you well.