@cathyhlikesflowers I was not in your situation but I also had my birth plan (nonmedicated low intervention birth) all blown to hell and I fought tooth and nail to give birth “naturally” which in the end was to the detriment of both me and my child. I’m sorry you’re facing this decision and I wish you good doctors, the ability to choose what feels safest to you, and a positive birth experience whichever way you meet your baby.
Personally, I think my attachment to the concept of a “natural birth” did me a lot of harm. I ended up with an emergency c section (during a power outage!) after 28 hours of labor and it was traumatic to say the least. I was in shock for 45 minutes afterwards and could not safely do skin to skin - my husband had to hold our wailing newborn while they waited to be allowed to see me. My friend who had a scheduled c section had a beautiful and peaceful experience with no pain, a healthy baby, immediate skin to skin contact, a doula in the room, pretty much the ideal experience all things considered. We both healed quickly and well, and I had much more guilt about my birth experience than she did because she had had time to make peace with it beforehand.
It wasn’t until later that I realized I put myself - and my child and my partner - through a lot of unnecessary suffering because I was so attached to the idea of doing it the natural way.
I wish I had had someone to tell me what you’re hearing here - that a c section can be a positive experience, that it does not make you any less of a mother or mean that you did not “give birth.” I am 36 weeks with my second now and well meaning friends have asked about my VBAC plans with language like “will you try to deliver this one or have you scheduled a c section?” and I wish they knew how small that makes a person feel. You are birthing your baby either way. Make the choice that feels safest and best for you, and try to make peace with the fact that nothing will ever go exactly to plan ever again; that’s motherhood for you.