@evilbeans We have very close friends who have two kiddos. We were all hanging out and throwing some back when the topic of us not having another came up. They both look at us and said "Listen to me. Don't do it. DO NOT DO IT." Which turned into a 45 min tipsy discussion about regretting their choice and all of the reasons why their life would have been easier with just one. They love their kids immensely and we are all so enamored with their second. But they admit that it is much, much harder than they ever thought.
I think people have more regrets than they'd ever admit.
@benedict87 My husband’s siblings that have two totally scared him off of having another. Theirs are two years apart and both made it sound like a living hell. I think when people are really honest with themselves, they see the benefit of being OAD. We took their advice and love our lives with our now almost 6 year old son. It’s not easy but it’s totally manageable and we get to enjoy every moment with him.
@evilbeans Not thinking of OAD as an option. Sad but likely true. The reality is it likely wasn't an easy first leading to a decision to have another, but the societal pressure you mention.
@debbs3692 Saaaaame man. I am 3000% convinced I did not have anything near a similar experience to "most" mothers, especially those that have a second. In the early days (entire first year lmao) I remember people trying to like sympathise with me like "oh it's so hard isn't it, you just can't prepare/expect it" and I completely brushed it off because no fuckin way do they understand if they DID IT AGAIN WILLINGLY.
So yeah I frankly find it harder to relate and befriend other parents because it's like we have less in common than I do with childfree people. At least they don't question my experience or try to educate me about tHe fOuRtH tRimEstEr (that lastsed 12 months???)
