At what age did you allow others to kiss your baby?
- Thread starter viri
- Start date
trynabgood
New member
@viri Absolutely never. It’s weird and I think you should uphold the boundary.
I mean seriously? Why do they need to kiss your baby? They can come see her, hold her, talk to her, play with her. That should be more than enough to bond with her and whether they realize it or not they’re probably more upset about the boundary itself than about the kissing. They don’t need to kiss her EVER.
I remember being a toddler/kid and my grandparents all insisted on kissing me. 1) it made me so uncomfortable and 2) I have herpes simplex 1 now. It’s just not worth it.
I mean seriously? Why do they need to kiss your baby? They can come see her, hold her, talk to her, play with her. That should be more than enough to bond with her and whether they realize it or not they’re probably more upset about the boundary itself than about the kissing. They don’t need to kiss her EVER.
I remember being a toddler/kid and my grandparents all insisted on kissing me. 1) it made me so uncomfortable and 2) I have herpes simplex 1 now. It’s just not worth it.
kurbatskiy
New member
@trynabgood After seeing all these posts about kissing newborns I was starting to think my family was weird because I've never had to have this conversation, nobody wants to kiss my baby!
trynabgood
New member
@kurbatskiy I’m so happy that’s been your experience. I had the conversation with my parents before baby was born because they both also have herpes simplex 1 and my mom literally laughed in my face.
My baby was born in December and before I could gauge if I could trust them to listen or not I made them wear face masks to visit.
My baby was born in December and before I could gauge if I could trust them to listen or not I made them wear face masks to visit.
kurbatskiy
New member
@trynabgood The only thing I've taken issue with is the pacifier. He doesn't bother with them unless it's a major meltdown, so I always keep one to hand when out visiting. My mum tried forcing it in his mouth when it was just a mild cry, and my partners aunt got annoyed with me for comforting him crying when I should "just put it in and put him in front of the TV"
trynabgood
New member
@kurbatskiy WHAT. Those are nuts. I get that may have been the norm when they had babies, not really sure, but that’s actually insane lol. I can’t imagine giving a newborn tv instead of comfort. I get plopping a kid in front of it for a few minutes to get some things done I.e someone using dancing fruit to get laundry and dishes done or something but forcing a paci in and forcing the kid in front of the tv instead of comforting them when you’re able is not cool 
I can’t imagine being frustrated with someone for comforting THEIR baby.
I can’t imagine being frustrated with someone for comforting THEIR baby.@kurbatskiy LUCKY. They’re all obsessed with wanting to kiss her. Like ew!!!! Are hugs and snuggles not enough? 
@trynabgood My mother literally told me I was depriving her of being a grandparent because I told her she couldn’t kiss her on the cheek. I wish I was kidding!!!! She’s a story for another time.
My FIL has already tried to kiss her and I nearly throat punched him.
Who the fuck wants to kiss a baby that’s not theirs anyway?? I’ve never had the desire to do that. I think I’m going to allow the top of her head ONLY.
My FIL has already tried to kiss her and I nearly throat punched him.
Who the fuck wants to kiss a baby that’s not theirs anyway?? I’ve never had the desire to do that. I think I’m going to allow the top of her head ONLY.
@viri You are not alone!!! My FIL has become UNBEARABLE with his begging to kiss the baby!! Since birth he's been all, "I'm not going to kiss him! I want to, but I'm not going to." On repeat. Every. Single. Damn. Time. He sees the baby. It's so extra and so annoying! I told my husband that at this point we are never letting him kids the baby cuz he's just so extra!! My dad is in Florida for the winter, so his begging has stopped due to proximity.
Let me just say, that I absolutely love my father in law and mother in law. They are wonderful!! And my MIL hasn't made a stink about it at all, but these fathers are something else...
Let me just say, that I absolutely love my father in law and mother in law. They are wonderful!! And my MIL hasn't made a stink about it at all, but these fathers are something else...
trynabgood
New member
@trynabgood Totally agree with everything you said!!
caitlin_12
New member
goldielocks
New member
@caitlin_12 I initially didn’t want even grandparents to do it when she was a really fresh newborn. But my daughter is 2.5 months and I’ve since dropped that restriction for awhile now. Can’t even remember exactly when or how. At some point it felt like an unreasonable rule to keep up when my in-laws had babysat her a few times already.
I’m still not sure about other people besides grandparents. Hasn’t really come up.
I’m still not sure about other people besides grandparents. Hasn’t really come up.
@caitlin_12 Same here. I allowed my mother and grandmother to kiss my baby from the first time they met him. All these posts are making me feel like a bad mom since them kissing my baby doesn’t bother me
rasalhague888
New member
@viri I understand the other comments and agree it’s a boundary for every parent to set.
Personally, I’m very close with my own mom and my MIL and I know they have my baby’s best interest in mind. They’ve been respectful of our rules to never, ever kiss her. They don’t get cold sores, my MIL is a nurse and my mom has raised many children. I’ve spoken with them and I’ll allow them to kiss her when she’s over six months old on the cheeks or head only. No mouths, no hands.
When she gets older, they will have to ask and she has autonomy to say “no thank you.”
Personally, I’m very close with my own mom and my MIL and I know they have my baby’s best interest in mind. They’ve been respectful of our rules to never, ever kiss her. They don’t get cold sores, my MIL is a nurse and my mom has raised many children. I’ve spoken with them and I’ll allow them to kiss her when she’s over six months old on the cheeks or head only. No mouths, no hands.
When she gets older, they will have to ask and she has autonomy to say “no thank you.”
danielfromcanada
New member
@viri I think it’s super weird!! No one other than myself and my husband will be kissing my son until he’s old enough to actually realize what’s going on. We also will not be kissing him on the lips because that’s super weird.
Have your own baby if you want to kiss it so bad haha.
My family is also weird and gets very offended if you don’t hug them. I was always forced to hug my aunts/uncles and I really don’t like hugs/being touched unless it’s my husband of course. My son will not have to give hugs when greeting relatives, he can choose a high five, verbal acknowledgement or anything else he wants to do unless he wants to give hugs, that will be encouraged.
Have your own baby if you want to kiss it so bad haha.
My family is also weird and gets very offended if you don’t hug them. I was always forced to hug my aunts/uncles and I really don’t like hugs/being touched unless it’s my husband of course. My son will not have to give hugs when greeting relatives, he can choose a high five, verbal acknowledgement or anything else he wants to do unless he wants to give hugs, that will be encouraged.