My daughter (12) doesn’t respect me as an authority figure, and it’s spreading to school / other authorities.
This week has been really difficult, I’ll spare the drama, but she essentially wouldn’t take no for an answer - lied / gaslit me - and then went into a fit of rage because I wouldn’t believe her, where she pushed me, swatted at my face, called me a f’n B****, etc. I then told her she couldn’t do X over the weekend.
Here’s the issue, I always say she can’t do X when she’s acting up, but then feel guilty and let her do it anyways.
So the next day, I told her that she could still go to her friends party. However, on the way home from school - she got mad at me because I told her “no” over something, and actually jumped out of my car. So I circled back, told her she won., and let her get her way. After that, I said she couldn’t go to her school social event on Friday.
Felt bad AGAIN, so the next day I told her she could negotiate her consequence, and still go to the school event.
Then last night, I was trying to talk to her about our hard week, that she absolutely could not hit me. Could not jump out of my car or attempt to run away. That she could not call me names. That there will be consequences for her actions. During this talk, she got really mad and started mocking me, saying she didn’t regret jumping out of the car, refused to accept her role in our arguments, and also said she would push me again if she felt like it.
She called me a B***** again. She apologized for that one immediately though.
Anyways, tonight is the night of her school event, and I don’t want to take her. I think it would be a fitting consequence, but I’m starting to doubt myself again. I want to help teach her to do better, not shame her or give her extreme punishments. I want her to get acclimated in her new school, and make friends. But I also want her to accept responsibility, and accept that I do have power over her while she’s a child.
WHAT DO I DO ?!!!
This week has been really difficult, I’ll spare the drama, but she essentially wouldn’t take no for an answer - lied / gaslit me - and then went into a fit of rage because I wouldn’t believe her, where she pushed me, swatted at my face, called me a f’n B****, etc. I then told her she couldn’t do X over the weekend.
Here’s the issue, I always say she can’t do X when she’s acting up, but then feel guilty and let her do it anyways.
So the next day, I told her that she could still go to her friends party. However, on the way home from school - she got mad at me because I told her “no” over something, and actually jumped out of my car. So I circled back, told her she won., and let her get her way. After that, I said she couldn’t go to her school social event on Friday.
Felt bad AGAIN, so the next day I told her she could negotiate her consequence, and still go to the school event.
Then last night, I was trying to talk to her about our hard week, that she absolutely could not hit me. Could not jump out of my car or attempt to run away. That she could not call me names. That there will be consequences for her actions. During this talk, she got really mad and started mocking me, saying she didn’t regret jumping out of the car, refused to accept her role in our arguments, and also said she would push me again if she felt like it.
She called me a B***** again. She apologized for that one immediately though.
Anyways, tonight is the night of her school event, and I don’t want to take her. I think it would be a fitting consequence, but I’m starting to doubt myself again. I want to help teach her to do better, not shame her or give her extreme punishments. I want her to get acclimated in her new school, and make friends. But I also want her to accept responsibility, and accept that I do have power over her while she’s a child.
WHAT DO I DO ?!!!