justseekinganswers
New member
Edit to add that I am a 26 F.
So a few years ago I got pregnant on accident and my life completely changed. I wasn't too crazy on the bio dad's lifestyle (kind of a one night stand thing and he turned out to be a manbaby) so we cut ties and I moved away to raise the baby (lets call her N) on my own with the help of my own family. Things worked out really well (I am SO LUCKY) and now my daughter is 3 and very well adjusted. I always made it crystal clear with my family that N will be an only child. I immediately got a 3 year IUD when she was born and figured when it expired I would "cross that bridge when I got to it"
When N just turned 1 we met my fiance. She calls him "Dad", but we will call him "A".
A never wants kids of his own which in his past was a huge deal breaker with past girlfriends. It worked out really well for me though! So that about catches us up.
Last Monday I got my Filshie clips put in. My doctor told me that it would be an incision below my belly button but it's actually IN my belly button. Immediately after the procedure I began to have the heaviest period of my life. It literally stopped this morning (so 7 days) It's been a week and I can still feel pinches when I bend my torso and it almost feels like I can feel the clips sometimes. I'd love to hear other peoples procedure stories.
Financially speaking, I saved about $1,200 for the procedure (to prepare for any complications or worse case scenarios). My bill was only 48 dollars after insurance. I'm completely dumbfounded by that but hey man I'll take it. So we're thinking about using the remaining money I saved to double down on the only child thing and get my fiance a viscectomy.
Socially speaking, people outside of my family treat me a little weird now. I live in a small town now and there's alot of overly religious people here. They think what I did was unnatural and "against his plan" I shrug that off easily because I am not religious. I don't fit in with the childless group (I don't try to, I understand and respect boundaries) and all of my old friends who were pregnant at the same time I was are on like their 3rd and 4th kids right now and they're whole identity is being mommys. I never related to that. Other kids are just so loud and somehow they're always sticky. N is a quarantine baby so she prefers to be independant.
I just think when it comes to my own life, it is financially unwise to bring another child into the world. It would take resources away from N and I want to be able to give N my %100. I want to give her every possible chance to be the best person she can be and live a happy life. She is by far the coolest person I've ever met and it is a privilege to be in her life.
Edit a few months later because I reread this and realized how toxic and nasty I sound about other kids and people who aren't OAD. I'm so sorry. I made an assumption about a community I am not apart of and in the future I will have a better head on my shoulders
So a few years ago I got pregnant on accident and my life completely changed. I wasn't too crazy on the bio dad's lifestyle (kind of a one night stand thing and he turned out to be a manbaby) so we cut ties and I moved away to raise the baby (lets call her N) on my own with the help of my own family. Things worked out really well (I am SO LUCKY) and now my daughter is 3 and very well adjusted. I always made it crystal clear with my family that N will be an only child. I immediately got a 3 year IUD when she was born and figured when it expired I would "cross that bridge when I got to it"
When N just turned 1 we met my fiance. She calls him "Dad", but we will call him "A".
A never wants kids of his own which in his past was a huge deal breaker with past girlfriends. It worked out really well for me though! So that about catches us up.
Last Monday I got my Filshie clips put in. My doctor told me that it would be an incision below my belly button but it's actually IN my belly button. Immediately after the procedure I began to have the heaviest period of my life. It literally stopped this morning (so 7 days) It's been a week and I can still feel pinches when I bend my torso and it almost feels like I can feel the clips sometimes. I'd love to hear other peoples procedure stories.
Financially speaking, I saved about $1,200 for the procedure (to prepare for any complications or worse case scenarios). My bill was only 48 dollars after insurance. I'm completely dumbfounded by that but hey man I'll take it. So we're thinking about using the remaining money I saved to double down on the only child thing and get my fiance a viscectomy.
Socially speaking, people outside of my family treat me a little weird now. I live in a small town now and there's alot of overly religious people here. They think what I did was unnatural and "against his plan" I shrug that off easily because I am not religious. I don't fit in with the childless group (I don't try to, I understand and respect boundaries) and all of my old friends who were pregnant at the same time I was are on like their 3rd and 4th kids right now and they're whole identity is being mommys. I never related to that. Other kids are just so loud and somehow they're always sticky. N is a quarantine baby so she prefers to be independant.
I just think when it comes to my own life, it is financially unwise to bring another child into the world. It would take resources away from N and I want to be able to give N my %100. I want to give her every possible chance to be the best person she can be and live a happy life. She is by far the coolest person I've ever met and it is a privilege to be in her life.
Edit a few months later because I reread this and realized how toxic and nasty I sound about other kids and people who aren't OAD. I'm so sorry. I made an assumption about a community I am not apart of and in the future I will have a better head on my shoulders
