Another kid at my step son’s school called him a Ching Chong, what would you do?

[garnett64]

@superjohn112 Getting the parents involved can go poorly if the parents are the ones passing this shit down to their kids.

My son was called the n-word for the first time in preschool. Yes, preschool. He was a 4 years old and his friend said they can't play together anymore because his daddy told him not to play with n-words. I only knew about it because my son didn't know what it meant and wanted to know why their friendship had to end. I ha discussion with my son. The two boys had a talk with the teacher. I spoke to the teacher as well but the other parents refused the meeting. It was pretty obvious why.

Hopefully that is not the case here but often times kids are just repeating what they hear and if they are hearing it from their family members, it might be best to leave them out if it.

 

[superjohn112]

@garnett64 I guess my point would be you can see for yourself if there is hope for this bully to change due to parenting, or if the hate comes from the parent so there will unlikely be change and you need to come up with alternative solutions. Just to get a read on the situation.

For your situation the kid literally said his parents are the problem so no further investigation needed

Also, wtf bro there are some garbage people out there..

 

[leevo]

@garnett64 Oh shit bro. This fucking world.

 

[thomashanancy]

@garnett64 Omg, that's so fricken sad. Sorry your kid and you had to deal with that at 4, like wtf.

 

[candlemakerpls]

@katrina2017 Yeah...idk what more OP wants? Corporal/capital punishment? The offender got his punishment for this offense. Probably start talking to his son about "you can't control what people say, but you can choose to not be friends or near them"

 

[sksguy]

@candlemakerpls I think he’s more talking about how to talk to the son about it

 

[thecabinetbarn]

@sksguy Yes I think the school handled it fine, I just meant if anyone had advice on handling racism with their step son. I appreciate all the advice everyone.

 

[natvin]

@thecabinetbarn I know this is easier said than done, but I'd suggest seeing if you could move somewhere more diverse with more Asian looking kids around.

 

[danishajaz]

@natvin this gotta be a troll comment. yikes

 

[natvin]

@danishajaz How is it telling to tell someone to get their kids away from racists?

 

[davidabear]

@natvin Racists are everywhere

 

[katrina2017]

@davidabear And also:

with more Asian looking kids around

Like what? If the stepson was Black, they should seek more "Black looking" people?

 

[sksguy]

@natvin What an absolute garbage take

 

[natvin]

@sksguy It's what I've done for my kids so they grow up in a diverse environment so they won't internalize that they're "weird" because of bigots. I'm happy to have better neighbors than I did when I was a kid and people trash talked my accent or meeting the in laws of my sibling who kept referring to my kid as "Dora" for being Hispanic.

 

[sksguy]

@natvin I’m gonna tell you that even in that diverse environment you moved to, there’s still racists there bud. Running away is not a solution as you can’t run away from it, you could try to insulate from it but they will still encounter it, and teaching them how to deal with that situation sets them up to deal with it wherever they may be

 

[johnw87]

@sksguy That's wrong. Kids don't really understand racism. They look for kids who have something that's different from them, and then they gang up on that kid. Being the only Asian paints a target on your back. If there's a few more, it's much less likely.

In my parent group there is a mother who moved to my hometown as a kid. The other kids decided she was a turk and bullied here for years. She wasn't, but that didn't matter. Because she moved here later, she didn't have a friend group that fought for her, the teachers ignored that, and the adults did nothing. There is absolutely nothing you can do in that situation, only hope it will get better after time.

 

[natvin]

@sksguy

I’m gonna tell you that even in that diverse environment you moved to, there’s still racists there bud.

Perhaps, but the type of abuse OP's kid is having is not acceptable and isn't normal where I live.

Running away is not a solution as you can’t run away from it, you could try to insulate from it but they will still encounter it, and teaching them how to deal with that situation sets them up to deal with it wherever they may be

I don't disagree, but I also don't think there's a benefit to living in a community where people don't like you. It's far better to live somewhere that lots of different people are, in my experience.

 

[live116]

@natvin Not sure why you got downvoted. Maybe because they think moving would be surrendering or overreacting? I have a half Asian son so I read a lot of people’s experiences online about being part Asian in the USA. They usually said it’s best to grow up in areas where Asians are common and aren’t treated like outsiders so much. Makes sense to me. It shouldn’t have to be that way, but if it is that way, then I’ll do what’s best for my kid. Luckily we’re already in a diverse area.

 

[shoowapdoowap]

@live116 The people who downvoted him probably don't understand what it feels like to grow up as the only ____ race and get bullied through childhood. Should a family move just to avoid or minimize this kind of racism? No. But is it a practical solution? Absolutely yes.

The location where I settle my family was a very conscious choice, with considerations for racial makeup of the population and students of the school district. I moved away from a 90% white district to a much more diverse one, to lessen the racial prejudice problem. At least if/when racism occurs, my child will have kids around who look alike.

Obviously racism exists everywhere. But to say it is no different in Wyoming versus Los Angeles would just be dishonest.

 

[thecabinetbarn]

@candlemakerpls Yeah I reread my post and it wasn’t very clear, I just want advice on some good ways to talk with my son about it. Not looking to hunt this other kid down haha