@thecabinetbarn Sorry to hear that. My kids are also asian (half), though we live in Texas and about half the kids at any school here are hispanic, which my kids could pass for. Anyways, this was a big concern for me having grown up with racist fools in the 80s and 90s. Mostly I want my kids to be aware of racism and about people who are typically racist. So first, I often call out racism that I see be it in public or on TV or where ever I see it, and I don't try to hide it from them. We let it be known that people being racist (regardless of the persons race or who it is directed at) are coming from a sad and ignorant place. Pity them because they are morons and will certainly only hurt themselves and alienate themselves from majority of their peers, also their future is probably going to be garbage. Something to fall back on while seeing someone make a fool of themself.
I make sure my kids know the world is full of different people of all sorts of different races and while we have the fortune of having the opportunity to have experience being around people of various race and background, others are not, and while we shouldn't excuse that behavior, it's not worthy of our attention because it's mostly born out of fear and ignorance. Anyways, I basically tell my kids to ignore it, if that doesn't work, tell a teacher, if that doesn't work call them out in front of everyone for being a racist POS. If things go beyond this, I'm probably suing the school for not ensuring a safe environment for my child to learn and not properly handling bullies causing the issues.
@thecabinetbarn Being Asian with Black/Asian children, I’ve accepted that I’m just going to have to tell them how it is.
“Some people will hate you because of the color of your skin. Some people hate me because of the shape of my eyes. You, my children, shall be hated by both parties. God speed.”
@thecabinetbarn You can make a list of the common slurs and stereotypes and go over them with your kids so they aren’t surprised when they hear them. If they are familiar with the terms and thoughts they won’t be as shocked / confused when they hear them and might not even care. I did that with my kids at some point. I even had to tell time they are part nips and part flips but not most of the other ones. I also had to tell their white friend all Chinese are Asians but not all Asians are Chinese
@thecabinetbarn My college’s asian student association invited me back as an alumni to come talk about my experiences as an API individual and how that comes out in school and through my career. I had the tough job of telling a room full of other asian kids that it doesn’t really stop. Ever since I was kid I got called these names and there is no boundary to who does it or when it happens.
It is gonna be a lot better for both of you to teach him about racism and finding a healthy way to process the insults and jokes and emotions. I don’t want to say that he “needs to grow a backbone” because that sounds harsh, but it is good to have a backbone with this stuff because it’s so easily said in school and in the workplace, and it’s so easy to be upset about it.
@thecabinetbarn 5th grade teacher here. I unfortunately deal with this every year, 10-20x, with students making racist remarks.
As other commenters have said— support, let him know it’s not about him directly, that people are ignorant. It’s not his job to educate others, but if he does feel comfortable… I have found that kids usually respond fairly well when confronted with ”Thats not nice. Do you know that what you said is very racist and untrue. How would you feel if someone said that to you?” Most kids don’t know what to do with that, and it’s important to call it out for what it is. I try and encourage empathy. Oftentimes they’re repeating stuff they’ve heard from media or from adults and don’t stop to think about the impact of their words.
@thecabinetbarn They banned him from the library, the one place where he could learn about different cultures. Kind of ironic. Should have banned him from recess and made him go to the library to read a book.
@thecabinetbarn Well, as my daughter who is 1/2 Chinese is only 6wks old, I don’t have any first hand experience with this, yet…
And my views on what should be done may seem harsh to others. But as a disabled person who was tortured in high/secondary school, I do have a first hand perspective on being singled out repeatedly snd seeing the offenders go virtually unpunished.
@thecabinetbarn Name calling and picking in class has been around since kids have been around tech your kid to stand up for himself and don't get offended and cry about it that is when it gets worse.
@thecabinetbarn My kid is half Asian but only 3yo. There are 2 others in her class that are 50% like her and 1 that’s 100%. Hopefully there is some safety in numbers going on here but I’m planning on teaching mine that some people think differently and can be assholes with there thoughts that should just be ignored.
@thecabinetbarn 10 or 11 year old boys do and say stupid things. Something similar happened at my kids school. it isnt really a fair depiction of the parents either. I wouid simply explain that to my child and also that racism exists and you simply need to handle it/future incidents to a teacher.
@thecabinetbarn Not something that will go away soon. My adopted son is brown-skinned and although it hasn’t been said to him, another child from a similar background was told by kids at school that his skin looks like the colour of shit.
