@vivian56 My toddler HAS TO rub me when she's supposed to be falling asleep (hands going up and down my side or her feet on my leg) so she's been wearing zippies with fold over mitts. For her feet, she didn't like them covered so I wrap myself in a blanket like a burrito then lay down with her.
If I forget to cover her hands, she'll be touching me again and can't fall asleep. She thinks pulling the mitts over is all part of the routine of sleepy time.
She also like to say "I love you milkies" while looking for my nipples over my shirt (or under) and I'll say "I love you too but milkies are night-night now" and I'll be covering them with my arm and hand. If we're laying in bed and she's trying to gain access to them, I wrap myself like a burrito again
Edit to add that I started the fold over mitts because she had really bad scalp eczema and would scratch herself awake in the middle of the night.
@vivian56 Oh no this willl be me in a year. No advice because my 14 month would happily live with one nipple in her mouth and the other in her hand without a break. Well done on cutting down to one feed though! I think you should appreciate the strength abe commitment that took and remind yourself you can do hard things kindly!
@vivian56 I just started telling my daughter that milkies have owies, because she could understand that, and my nipples were just so done. She has to respect your body, the same way we teach our kids that others have to respect theirs. Your daughter will adjust, but it will take time and consistency.
@vivian56 I never have my other boob exposed for risk of twiddling. Other body parts I'm fine for baby to touch. In the motn the blanket is my shield. Expose 1 boob,.cover other with blanket, reposition sleepy baby and keep her under my leg lol
@vivian56 OP are you me?? I had a very healthy laugh/cry at your post, I can relate to this so hard.
Also everyone who is getting all uppity and judgemental about setting boundaries, consent, etc: please see OP’s extremely important comment that is tldr: “I am an exhausted mom. Until now I have chosen to honour my sleep sanity over my nips. is there a less exhausting way keep LO off my nips so we can tip the balance in favour of nip protection?”
@markinsydney Ok firstly thank you for SEEING me and secondly for condensing my diatribe I didn’t feel like defending myself in the comments and didn’t think I needed to. We have been talking about consent since she was a wee babe, but it is a complex concept and 2 years olds are just going to be 2 sometimes aren’t they?
@vivian56 Oh my gosh, I have a similar problem. Stopped breastfeeding more than a year ago and my son is almost 2.5, and his hands are always going down for my boobs. I tell him no boobies, take his hands out repeatedly, he knows he isn't supposed to! He'll say my boobies, and I respond firmly with no, they are my boobies and I don't want you to touch them. So he'll put his little hand at the top of the colar and say "here OK?" All innocent, and I say yes, and gradually it makes it's way back down. I think he's figured out the nipples are an instant reaction though, so he seems to steer off them mostly, thankfully. All this to say, I don't have a solution, and also that weaning might not be the end of it (sorry), but it wouldn't hurt to help set that boundary.
@vivian56 Oh man I relate to this! My 18 month old is a twiddler and I hate it. I’ve been trying hard to say no, enforce no, or otherwise cover my other nipple with my hand when she’s nursing, but she works hard to get in there! Literal LOL at “I’m gonna hold your boobies and drink them.”
@vivian56 This is exactly why I stopped breastfeeding my daughter at 2yrs. I was also pregnant with my second so my nipples were extra sensitive. But we ended up going cold turkey with the breastfeeding because it got so bad. She was having tantrums every time she nursed if I stopped the twiddling and I finally got to the point where I couldn’t do it anymore. We got a picture book about weaning and started reading that whenever she gave nursing cues if it wasn’t bedtime. We still nursed to sleep for awhile, but eventually she just stopped asking for it
@vivian56 More for weaning the final couple of night feeds rather than twiddling, but my husband took over the bed sharing with our LO. It was certainly a sacrifice on his part, but it's nice when there is something truly only a father/father figure/non breast feeding partner/ etc. can do since there are so many things that default to the mom. Up to recently (LO is ~2.5) i always bed shared and nursed my LO, and I was nervous to stop. It was an adjustment for us all but we are all (except maybe my husband) sleeping better and I feel so free. I can NOT handle twiddling. I would lose it if I were you. Way to keep even relatively calm. Good luck!
@vivian56 I started weaning my boob obsessed twiddling two year old about a month ago and putting large bandages over my nipples and telling her they have “owwies” really helped. She will kiss the bandages and say “owwies” and sometimes cry a little, but she seems to accept it. She needs the visual though and I eventually replaced actual stick on bandaids with medical gauze I can just put in my bra and hold over the nipple when I show her. It’s no lie either. I’m pregnant and my nipples hurt like hell. I can tell when she’s wanting to nurse, but knows it’s not time yet because she will say “owwies” really softly to herself. One warning though, she stopped twiddling and started ripping into a small mole I have on my boob with her nails for awhile
