@chris_mil I’m so incredibly sorry for everything you have gone through. Can your husband cancel his work trip? I would consider this under the category of a family emergency.
I had a miscarriage at about 9 weeks gestational age. I can tell you about my experience but I will say, everyone’s experience is different, so it may be different for you. I found out about the miscarriage about a week and a half after it actually happened. I had had some spotting that starting to increase. I got a prescription for I think it was misoprostol so I could pass everything at home (or attempt to). I was ok with super pads throughout the day. What I absolutely was not prepared for, nor did they doctor inform me that I would see the baby. I honestly thought it would come out looking like a blood clot and would blend in with everything else coming out. Nope. In the middle of the night I felt stuff coming out. I went to the bathroom and there my baby was, laying on my pad. I could make out little fingers and toes beginning to form. You could see things like where the ear was going to form, etc. I was numb. And at a complete loss of what to do. We ended up getting a little cup from my kitchen and placing baby in the refrigerator until morning. I didn’t want to flush my baby down the toilet or in the garbage. We ended up burying little one in the back yard. I was ok with that but I still feel weird about it. Like should we have done something more?? I wish my doctor would have better prepared me for that because I think I would have been more prepared about what to do.
Overall I had minimal cramping but the emotional part of it was really hard. I ended up passing everything so didn’t need the d&c. My heavy bleeding started about 2 weeks after the passing of my baby. Not sure if would have been longer without the medication or not.
If you can get help from someone, a good friend, family member, hell even a babysitter who can come and watch your toddler so you can focus on yourself, definitely do that. People WANT to help other people. I’m sure there are many people in your life (regardless if you realize it or not) that would be glad to provide support. Sending a long virtual hug to you.