7.5 mo old used to be sleep trained and now isn’t

[stefanylove]

We sleep trained our LO at 4 mo old. She was horrible prior to sleep training. Nanit camera said I interacted with her 23 times a night. Once we sleep trained she learned to sleep TTN after a couple weeks. For two months we were doing great. Fast forward to now at almost 8 months old, we haven’t had a good night in 2 months. She learned to stand in her crib at 6.5 months and it’s been downhill since then. First we just thought she was excited about her new skill and losing sleep over it. Now she can stand and sit comfortably on her own but hasn’t gone back to sleeping TTN. She wakes up around 12-2 am crying. On nights that we pick her up before waiting 10 minutes, she then learns to keep waking up and crying. On nights we let her cry, she goes onto 13-14 minutes of crying. She won’t fall back asleep. We have to pick her up and feed her. But at least she doesn’t keep doing it throughout the night. I don’t want to keep feeding her because I know that can turn into a viscous cycle.

We don’t know what to do at this point. She is waking at 630 am, her wake times are 2/3/3.5. I’ve tried extending the last wake window to 4 and it doesn’t help. Her bedtime is consistently at 7pm.

She also is a very hyperactive baby. She is trying to walk already. She spends the entire day climbing up the stairs with us behind her. She has NO CHILL.

She won’t sit for more than five minutes to enjoy solids. She’s in the 25th percentile of weight because of her activity level. We can hardly get her to drink her milk.

She gets plenty of outdoor time and playtime. I don’t want to pay more money to talk to the sleep trainer that we used the first time around. Does anyone have a similar situation?

 

[stefanylove]

Update: I extended wake windows to 3/3/4. Her naps are 45 mins to an hour each. She is still waking up and screaming every few hours. Do I go to her before waiting 10 mins. I feel terrible because she’s teething too. Joe can I let her cry knowing she’s in pain

 

[matthewswinson]

@stefanylove Sounds like my baby girl. 100% go go go and 0 chill. Was also climbing stairs at 7.5 months. She went through a rough patch too. 8-9 months where separation anxiety coincided with standing. At 11 months now she seems to be well and truely over it. She recently started walking and is TIRED at naps and bedtime.

 

[plzgod]

@matthewswinson My baby at 6.5 months is going through separate anxiety. Doesn’t want me to put him down in the crib

But was sleeping fine for a month and half in the crib before that. Honestly so confused

 

[matthewswinson]

Actually, was in a similar spot with food. Wouldn't sit for solids, too busy for milk unless drowsy. I ended up cutting her milk feeds back (BF) and removed feed to sleep association. I was paranoid she wouldn't get enough to eat but she actually ended up taking longer feeds, ate more solids and fed less overnight.

 

[stefanylove]

@matthewswinson Thanks! I feed her at 645 and then begin bath, (sometimes I feed her in the bath because she’s calm) and then pajamas, book, say goodnight, and sleep at 715. She wakes up 2-3 hours after. Would you say that’s a feed-sleep association?

 

[iamthankful]

@stefanylove People make it seem like sleep training is a one time thing (kinda like how you can potty train in 3 days right? Lmao) but we had to re-do it many times, during every regression. We did “fuss it out” but nothing formal like checkins.

 

[taejon]

@iamthankful You’re so right!! I’ve been trying to take a FIO approach but am kind of confused since it seems there aren’t really any hard and fast rules. I’ve been soothing her if she sounds like she’s really upset, but leaving her if she’s just complaining. Any tips for what worked for you or how you applied this method?

 

[iamthankful]

@taejon We tried lots of different things but our ultimate goal was to get rid of “rocking to sleep” so we started putting her down drowsy and patting her butt, and sitting on the floor by the crib until she was settled. Then I started learning her cries—she had a gentle, fussy cry and I knew she’d settle herself down (this was around 8-9 months), but she had this wild screaming cry that I knew needed intervention, so I’d just go in and pat her back and say “it’s ok, it’s time to go to bed” and I’d hum the happy birthday song (lol). She honestly still cries from time to time (she’s 2.5 now) but if I go in and quickly comfort her, she’ll settle down and go to sleep on her own. Anyway, it was a lot of trial and error.

 

[taejon]

@iamthankful Thank you! This is really helpful. I know what you mean about the different cries - mine is the same way. I’m always concerned I’ll confuse her if I help her settle sometimes but not others, but I think if I’m only helping her when she has her distressed cry it should be ok.

 

[iamthankful]

@taejon Yeah I think you’ll be fine. Every kid is different but as long as you feel like you are slowly teaching them more and more how to fall asleep on their own you’re winning!

 

[candies]

@stefanylove I think people are over complicating this with wake times and feeding times

I think it all comes down to you starting the habit of picking her up for night cries. She has learnt that you will come, so perseveres with the crying. The solution is to basically resume sleep training and stop going in to pick her up when she cries during the night - 14 mins isn’t really that long - and let her fall asleep on her own again. This is how you will break the habit and stop it from happening again

Then, as soon as you’ve got her sleeping through the night again, you have to stay consistent with your actions. This basically means never going in to pick her up for night cries, even if she doesn’t have one for 2 months and then suddenly does. A good piece of advice I read is that true sleep training never ends. It’s a routine and a process that you will follow throughout your kids childhood

 

[kingdomkings]

@candies Yes. Be consistent. Make sure the last feed ends half an hour before she goes into her crib awake, and don’t offer a feed until after 3am so it pushes the calories to daytime. Be consistent. Move her to a pack n play if you are worried about her standing up and falling against the bars.

 

[stefanylove]

You all are so impressive in how much you know about all this. Thank you for the advice!

 

[incoloranthos]

@stefanylove Is she getting enough to eat during the day? You mention you can hardly get her to drink her milk. There was a period of time my LO wasn’t drinking much and woke up 2-3 times a night to eat. He eventually shifted to eating more during the day and may have a few nights a week where he wakes up in the early morning. She might just be hungry because she’s on the move all day long and not getting her calories in during the day.

 

[cindyfernandez]

@stefanylove Before you dropped a nap, what were your wake windows? You've only got 2+3+3.5 8.5 hours of awake, on 3/3/4 she'd have 10. If you had something like 2/2.5/2.5/3 (a maxed out 3 nap schedule) that's 10 hours of awake. I'd suggest doing 2.5/3/3.5 at a minimum - if she can't handle a 2.5 in the morning she's not ready for 2 naps and you should add back a bridge nap so you're not expecting more than 12 hours of night sleep, 11 is probably more realistic.

Baby sleep guide in my profile.

 

[stefanylove]

@cindyfernandez Hi @cyclam thanks so much for your feedback. I extended her wake windows to 3/3/4 . She seems to be doing a bit better. But now she’s waking up 2-3 hours after going down for the night. I feed her at 645 and then begin bath, (sometimes I feed her in the bath because she’s calm and will finally eat) and then pajamas, book, say goodnight, and sleep at 715. She wakes up 2-3 hours after. Would you say that’s a feed-sleep association? It’s a struggle to feed her.

 

[cindyfernandez]

@stefanylove A night wake is still normal at this age, have you explored night weaning? Feed to sleep would look like waking 45min to an hour after bed.

 

[missymo]

@cindyfernandez Hi new to the community — can you please help me understand what you (and everyone else) mean when you say 2/2.5/2.5/3? What do these numbers represent??

 

[cindyfernandez]

@missymo Sorry! I've gotten out of the habit of explaining what it means (you used the notation in your original post)