6 week old won’t be fed/rocked to sleep and won’t contact nap

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ptimhoff

New member
I want to start out by saying I know I can’t sleep train my 6 week old. And I don’t want to. I know it’s biologically normal for babies this age to need to be held/fed to sleep.

Except… it doesn’t work. I feed him till he’s asleep and stops sucking. Then I take him off and he’s wide awake. Hours of bouncing/rocking/carrying - same thing. He was awake from 9 PM till 12:30 AM last night.

I’m sorry if this is the wrong sub.

What do you do when the “correct” things don’t work??
 
@ptimhoff I'm locking comments because you have lots of tips and perspectives here.

It must be extremely hard. At this age wake windows are not super consistent but what helped me was to take baby to a dark environment around 60-75 minutes awake and try to help them relax with some white noise.

Not sure if your baby has always been like this but my recollection is that around 6wo they "wake up" and are just so much more aware, everything becomes a distraction.
 
@ptimhoff Keep track of the times he sleeps and wakes for a few days that’s your rough schedule of what to expect. Don’t get caught up in what the internet says about wake windows and whatever else. Every human is different.

Sometimes I found I was doing too much w my LO. It’s okay to feed burp swaddle and lay them in the crib to just chill, kick,cooo and fuss a bit. Intervene by using crib side soothing patting the bum, tracing the eye brows, shushing etc.You would be surprised how many times it results in sleep.
 
@god2good4me You’re right - I think I am getting caught up in the internet. You can see even in this thread lots of people are telling me it’s just because I’m missing his tired cues and not following wake windows. It’s hard.

I have been surprised a few times when he’s fallen asleep on his own! I will try to remember that.
 
@ptimhoff I always felt like I needed to entertain my newborn and then realized I could lay her down In her bassinet and she would have her “play time” - which sometimes was literally just looking around. I’d put some contrast fold out books or the little piano thing I have has the toys that hang from above. My girl was so independent from the beginning. She loved being by herself to kick around and look around. (Obviously I was there watching her but she didn’t want to be held) I’d say I’d your baby is not upset don’t worry about what your wake window and sleep schedule “should be”. Every baby truly is different just like we are as adults. You’re doing great. Don’t be hard on yourself.
 
@ptimhoff My son was like this and was found to be colic. He needed to be put on anti-reflux meds for over six months daily to help. But I also had to wear him and bounce him to sleep at his wake windows every 45 min. It was exhausting. So we ended up sleep training him at 3 months in his own crib when he showed signs of self soothing. I’m expecting my second this month and I think we are due for a chill baby/good sleeper lol. He grew out of this once he started getting older, better as each month went by. But the first three months truely can be horrible. Good luck mamma!

Also witching hour … it seemed whatever I did, nights were worse from 6pm-12 just like you. But after three months, everything just started improving. Likely due to the fact that babies are born nocturnal and need to learn day/night
 
@ptimhoff We are currently going through the same thing. Everybody keeps telling me to obey wake windows and it's so frustrating. We offer naps as soon as he shows any sleepy cues (or at 44-60 mins after a wake-up). The past 5 nights he's had anywhere from a 3-5 hr wake window in the late evening. I asked the nurse and pediatrician and they said to follow his cues and to not get frustrated by him ignoring wake windows. We continue to rock and nurse and offer opportunities for naps but in the end you can't force a baby to sleep. One thing that has worked the past two nights is rocking him tightly. We swaddle or wear him in the carrier, put in the pacifier and rock him in the rocking chair. Sometimes I'll sing or use the baby shusher. The other night it took 45 mins of singing but I finally got him to sleep. I could barely speak the next day lol. Solidarity to you, this is definitely not easy. My little guy is just over 6 weeks as well so I'm hoping it's just their current "leap" if you follow the wonder weeks app.
 
@ptimhoff I remember this "leap" too, thank god my mum was visiting because it just about broke me, baby would just cry all evening and wouldn't be put to sleep. Sounds like you're doing a great job for your little one, it will pass soon!
 
@ptimhoff Sorry if I missed this somewhere but have you offered a pacifier? Seems like he wants to suck for comfort. It will be a little while longer likely before he can suck his hand or thumb - every baby is different but for mine it’s come about when baby was like 2-4 months old.
 
@ptimhoff I highly recommend the book Precious Little Sleep. Lots of good tips in there. Unfortunately you may be stuck in a cycle of overtiredness, making it hard to get him to sleep. Does this usually happen in the later afternoon/evening? Usually that’s when overtiredness hits hard and is called “witching hour” :/
 
@ptimhoff Some babies won’t fall asleep with constant motion. My guy gets very stimulated by the environment and me so putting him down to sleep and walking away is actually more calming to him. If I stay in the room or bend over him while he’s trying to calm down, it will continue go stimulate him and keep him up instead of going down.

I use this method. Feel free to try out on your LO if you think it might be related to overstimulation!
  • put them down (for a nap or sleep, doing your usual routine) and then leave the room and listen outside. I wait usually 2-3 mins to see if the crying is doing down or escalating. If he’s getting quieter, I continue to listen but let him continue calming down on his own and he eventually falls asleep. If he gets more upset in that time, I try the next step.
  • soothing from within the bassinet or crib. Try soothing them without picking them up first. This helps decrease the chances of them learning to rely on contact to fall asleep while still offering soothing and comfort. Gently rock them (with them still lying down) on their chest with your hand and shhh them. Don’t stand right over their face and look at them too much though, as again this will overstimulate them or wake them back up. Not too much eye contact or movement, just gentle consistent motion. Once they’ve calmed, I leave the room and wait 2-3 mins again. Same thing, if they are continuing to calm down I wait to make sure they’re on their way to falling asleep. If his cries are escalating, then I try the following.
  • last resort is to pick him up and gently rock him to sleep. I rock him with gentle motion, then let him sleep on me without motion for a few mins. Then after 5-10 mins tops of having him sleep on me, I place him back in this bassinet or crib to sleep.
Best of luck! This may or may not work for your little one but wanted to share on the chance that it helps. Anything for a little more sleep!
 
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