5 kids Failed morning routine

@sklyjd I know and I think it’s that I’m so use to breastfeeding it will be a huge adjustment for me since I’ve been breastfeeding for the last 8 years. I am gonna look for a support group. Thanks for your advice.
 
@proverbs3v5 Don’t forget that you’re more than just a milk machine, you are more than just a mom. You haven’t lost who you were before you had babies. This is who you were before and more. It’s important to remember for you and your family why you choose them every day. That also means taking care of yourself so you can be there even when they don’t need you to pieces.
 
@sklyjd Yessss this is true! I realized this a few weeks ago about not thinking it was supposed to be like have a baby and rush to work after 6 weeks. While on my job I wish that I can be home holding my daughter instead of working with a child who has behavioral issues. I believe this is why I would hold her for so long after work because I missed her while in daycare. The evening quickly fly’s by and then I’m left getting nothing done because I’d literally hold her from the time I get in from work at 6pm until around 7:30pm. Then it leaves me cramming fulfill my other tasks. Thank you for your understanding and I’m trying to be more intentional about taking care of my mental health.
 
@proverbs3v5 I hope that you know there are people who care about you and are there for you even when you think you don’t deserve it. Right now is when you need to let people help you regardless how much it sucks to need it. You wouldn’t let someone feel guilty for you helping them, so don’t do that to yourself. Mama’s need love too. The saying “it takes a village to raise a child” is so true. Don’t forget to spend time taking to grown adults. Set time to just vent with your husband and friends. You can also come back here and we can all just share memes, stories and commiserate. Hang in there.
 
@sklyjd Thank you so much for your encouragement. I have been allowing my family to help me out more. I have been doing a lot better since i made this post. Trying to work on pouring into myself more. So last Sunday I went to the gym for the first time in my life, it was tough but i look forward to taking steps to help my physical body improve. I got my hair done and these things did give me a boost in my confidence. I’m still working on my night and morning routine. It has improved but I’m learning everyday is not gonna be the same. My 2year old is at the age where he has a lot of tantrums. Still struggling with lunches. I try to do a lot in the evening but I’m still tired . Trying to find out why I am so tired after work. I have been taking my vitamins often. Maybe I should try caffeine after work idk lol!
 
@proverbs3v5 I know it’s not an easy decision but if you could work part-time from home or sahm full time that sounds like it would be a game changer for your family. My wife chooses to do that with our 7 (all 11 yo and under) and I can’t imagine doing it any other way. I value my wife so much it’s impossible to put into words. IMO she earns the equivalent of a rather large salary in her ability to cart kids around, keep up the house, make meals, and generally keep the kids healthy (and alive!). Not to mention the stress it takes off of me!
 
@jakelawww I think it’s so beautiful how you give your wife credit! It take a village to be a family! While my husband covers our mortgage, bills and etc I’ll have to take the loss of not being able to get much miscellaneous things paid for. Any advice on how you handle paying for miscellaneous or you cover everything? If so that’s excellent!!
 
@proverbs3v5 I cover everything, but that’s not how y’all have to do it, don’t know what other skills you may have to help, but maybe part-time remote work, crafting/Etsy, idk what else, haha… I would suggest minimizing/eliminating debt. We are debt free except for the house and that enables my income to go further.
 
@proverbs3v5 I have “only” 3 kids 6,4,2 but I have bedtime and morning down to a science and I do it all on my own so this might help. Dinner is a crockpot meal thrown in the am. So after work we just eat right away. You can make the 8&4yo cleanup after their own dinner. On lucky nights I can get mine to even do the dishes or mop the floor after dinner. Seriously they love it. Kids sleep in clothes they’re wearing the next day, even socks. They pick out their own clothes so I don’t have to lay out outfits. We do bath maybe 2-3x a week not nightly- recently that’s a shower after swim lessons so we don’t even have to do it at home. Then after they go to bed I finish cleaning up from dinner, quick floor sweep, 10 min pickup, pack lunches and snacks. While I pack lunches I might set out a few things to make the next am crockpot meal easy to throw in.

Mornings are super quick. All they have to do after waking is go potty and put shoes on. Breakfast is microwaved frozen pancakes or frozen waffle thrown in the toaster. Bam done. I get my 6yo out the door for the bus in 10 min flat. Brush her hair on the way to the bus stop. Lol
 
@wonderer99 Ok, I am intrigued. Kids don’t need a daily bath??? I bathe/shower my 5 and 1 year old, daily. I skip hair washing (2-3x). What about the 1 year old wearing a pamper all day? It just seems smelly. Lol do you do a wipe down?
 
@katrina2017 Most resources say children before puberty only need to bathe 1-3 times a week, and it's better for their skin and hair to not be washed daily. They do clarify that if your child is specifically dirty, oily, has been in water (lake/chlorine, etc.), or has bug spray or sunscreen on, that you should bathe them in these circumstances.

Personally, I do a daily wipe down of all my kids (6, 2, and 5 months), but we only do a guaranteed bath 1x a week. We do extra baths if they request one as an activity/play time, or if any if the other circumstances require it, but we often have just one a week if they're not specifically dirty or smelly.

I don't have any issues with smells or rashes or anything for my 2 kiddos in diapers. If there's a poop blowout though, that warrants a bath. Everything else seems perfectly fine with a daily wipe down and using diaper cream.
 
@proverbs3v5 Get the older 4 involved in your tasks. It helps a lot when our older 4 (8,4,4,2) help with chores and stuff which gives us time with baby but also gives them responsibility. They also won’t feel left out in the new baby dynamic. Don’t rely on your husband to pick up the slack, the children should be as responsible as you are for their own shit. You’re a badass. Keep it up.
Dad of 5.
 
@jamandcrumpets Awww I thought having older kids would make it easier. My oldest is with her dad for her 11th grade school year down south. I miss her because she was so helpful. She would clean the dishes, bathroom, and cook sometimes. I have to get my 8 year old son in tune with chores and cleaning. My husband makes the 8,4,2 year old clean up the living room but it’s back messy in 30 mins. Thanks for the tips!
 
@doge9000 Yes I do have a Solly wrap. My baby is 20 lbs and I’m not sure if it’s too effective because she is a lot bigger but yes I agree that will help if it’s even for 20 mins a day. I can cook a meal in 20 mins. I should probably edit the post because my 16 year old is currently with her dad in another state to finish highschool. My oldest is extremely helpful and helped a lot. It has been a lot harder with chores and keeping the house neat since she is away. The 8 year old does not have set chores but i know i need to start giving him something cuz it would be more easier for the family as a whole.
 
@proverbs3v5 For a 5 month old I would do a ring sling (easy to pop in and out) or a soft structured carrier like lillebaby to wear for longer periods. You could probably find them used on FB marketplace if cost is an issue. Good luck! I just had my 4th with similar ages for the rest of the kids and it's hard. I wear her like 1/3 of the entire day to chase after my toddler.
 
@doge9000 Sounds like a great idea! I will look for a sling wrap. I’m all for comfort because some of these carriers can be painful after wearing it for 30 mins. Thank you for the suggestion!!
 
@proverbs3v5 Do as much as you can the night before. Pack lunches, lay out clothing, pack backpacks, pack snacks, fill up water bottles, run the dishwasher, etc. Do things at night that tomorrow you will thank you for 🙃
 
@proverbs3v5 Prep ahead for more than one day.

Clothes, when folding laundry, group into full outfits.

Lunches, prep as many as you can into daily plastic bags, snacks, apples, drinks etc. anything that will keep for days, prep all together.

Consider doing less baths, or maybe switching some to showers.

How much do the 16 and 8 year old do as chores? Are they interested in doing the above prepping for you for additional allowance/pocket money?

What is breakfast? Can they eat it in the car if they don’t finish it in good time at home (toast!) can it be something quick like cereal and milk?

When things are running late take a big long breath and take note of what has taken too long and work on that. Give yourself some grace - you’re doing the best you can. Tell your work that you are actively working on getting there on time.
 
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