4 Month Regression and MOC. I feel like I’ve screwed up..

[donnlisa]

We have officially encountered what I believe to be the 4 month sleep regression. LO (4 months old yesterday) has been sleeping in our room in the bassinet of the pack and play since birth. She is tall/long so we decided it was time to move from the bassinet to the crib of the pack and play, still located in our room. We are still swaddling in the halo sleep swaddle. Since this transition LO has gone from sleeping a good 6-8 straight hours with 1 middle of the night feeding (EFF) to only sleeping 1.5-2 hours at a time. Last night we put her down at 12 and I got up with her at 2, hubs got up with her at 4 with a feeding, then I got up with her at 6 and 8 with her morning bottle at 8. At 2 and 6 I just popped the paci back in and rocked her until she went back to sleep which was surprisingly pretty quickly.

Today I got out my Mom’s On Call book to try to figure out what to do next. They recommend putting down at 7-8, no swaddle, no night feedings, no paci and get up 12 hours later. I feel like I’ve screwed everything up already. I realized that maybe I should have been swaddle weaning since 3 months. I also realized maybe we should have been putting her down earlier as I’ve been putting her down when I go to bed around 11-12, and maybe thats part of the problem.

I guess my question is; is it too much to start all these changes at once? So if I start tonight, she’s in the pnp crib (still in our room for now- we had planned on keeping her in our room til 6 months- or should I move the whole pnp to her room? No real crib yet b/c we were thinking 6 months in the pnp so we had plenty of time to make that purchase) which is still new as we just moved out of the bassinet 2 days ago, she’s in pjs instead of the swaddle, no paci, and we are putting her down 4-5 hours earlier than she’s accustomed to. Am I setting myself up for failure doing all this at once? Or should I just bite the bullet and do it all, even if the next few nights are rough, with the hope of positive long term results?

I’m super confused and frustrated right now. Hoping for some good advice! X-posting to r/beyondthebump

 

[rosedelight]

@donnlisa I personally would suggest to move bedtime more slowly. If she’s used to going to bed at midnight it’s unlikely she’ll be ready to go to sleep at 8. Maybe try 15 minutes earlier each day or half an hour earlier every couple of days?

When we weaned off the swaddle our daughter started to suck on her thumb, so getting rid of the paci was relatively easy. We sleep trained without too much crying at that point.

Our LO reduced night feedings slowly on her own, so I’m not sure what is the best approach there. If she is used to getting a lot of calories at night, it might be that she is actually hungry at that time and it might be easier to take a gradual approach too. Two different techniques I’ve read about are either reducing the amount of each feed (oz in bottle or time on the boob) or stretching the time between night feedings.

 

[hwp]

@rosedelight I always recommend doing it all at once. This is because we don’t want baby to start sleeping well and have to take something else away. You can replace the swaddle with a zipadeezip.

 

[pstraight]

@donnlisa This doesn’t answer any of your questions (sorry!) but don’t feel like a failure. Some kids sleep like champs, others don’t. Some kids take to sleep training really well, others don’t. Sometimes I feel like a failure because my baby slept pretty well until exactly 4 mos, then started sleeping like shit, almost recovered, then started teething. Now, at almost 9 mo, he wakes up anywhere from 2-6 times a night. I felt like I was keeping a dark secret from people whose kids slept like rocks. Had a play date with a new friend and her 10 mo old yesterday and she said her kid would wake probably 6-8 times a night and then suddenly went to one. She said trying to sleep train made her insane and wasn’t worth it. It might all work out great for you, but remember there are always LOTS of people doing what you’re doing, no matter what you’re doing, and at the same time, there’s a perfect combination of factors to make your LO and situation totally unique. Follow advice if you want, but above all, don’t judge yourself or panic. There is no right or wrong.

 

[donaldbross]

@donnlisa Are you out of the "Leap" or sleep regression yet? I know it can go on for some time and then after that is when they develop those bad habits. I say do whatever you need to do to get your LO to sleep during this regression. Once it is done, do what you need to do. I don't follow MOC but I have a friend that does.. kind of. She mentioned that MOC wants you to do extinction from 7pm-7am with no night feedings whatsoever. My LO is 5mo, 1 wk and she still needs a MOTN feeding. I firmly believe that now that she is ST. She can put herself to sleep, wake up, fuss, and if it's just a waking, she will put herself back to sleep. When she's hungry, she will not stop crying until I feed her. I felt awful making her wait, but I needed to learn what she really needs. Before we ST her, she was just like your LO waking up every 2-3 hours. Miserable. Now she wakes up 1-2 times a night.

I ST my LO at 4.5 mo and she kept breaking out of the swaddle. I think she was ready to be out of it before I was. I got her the zipadee zip and she LOVES it. She sucks on the little corners and spreads her arms out when she sleeps. She looks so comfortable spread eagle like that! She was never one for a paci. Most ST will say you have to ditch the paci since it is a sleep prop and googling paci horror stories will be enough for you to want to get her off of it sooner rather than later. Your LO may be overtired as well.. 12 is a very late bedtime, so that isn't doing you any favors. When I finally decided to ST, I figured "what have I got to lose?" because honestly, I wasn't sleeping, LO wasn't sleeping, it wasn't working, something needed to change and so we just did it, stayed consistent, and now the whole family is much happier with it. I could not be a bigger proponent for ST your baby. After your LO is out of the regression, do what you are comfortable with!

 

[katrina2017]

@donnlisa I am following MOC and I would recommend the facebook support group! If I were you I would move baby to her own room first and keep the swaddle and Paci and then after she is used to that drop the swaddle and Paci at one time.

 

[genryu1989]

@donnlisa I've never heard of MOC but it seems like it would be pretty jarring to make all those changes at once! We kept the swaddle after we started sleep training (eventually switched to Magic Merlin), didn't phase out night feedings for another 5 months and it's over a year later and my daughter is still using hte pacifier and sleeping 12 hour nights.

I say do whatever makes sense to you. I would definitely put her down earlier (maybe not 5 hours earlier all at once though!), and maybe work on moving her to her own room and helping her fall asleep on her own at the start of the night.

 

[donnlisa]

@genryu1989 Thanks! MOC is Mom’s On Call. Its a book and website or “method” I guess...