3.5yo, 2yo and NB? Am I crazy?

[angeliabell]

My first two are 17 months apart - they are 2.5 (almost 3) and 17 months right now, and I’ve started having baby fever badly. If we started trying this next cycle and happened to get pregnant right away, we would have a 3.5 year old and 2 year old when the new baby is born. I’ve always wanted kids closer in age, but am I crazy to have 3 under 4? Does anyone have similar age gaps? What do you love or dislike about it? Should I wait another 6 months until they would be 2.5 and 4?

Another complicating factor is we would probably need the older 2 to share a room, but if we kept baby in our room for at least 6 months it would buy us some time. Thanks in advance for the insight!! I am a planner and just trying to think what might be best!

 

[chinnukkd]

@angeliabell My first three were about 19 months and then 26 months apart. So my oldest was 3y10m when #3 was born. It wasn’t too crazy. But my oldest was a very early talker so he was super helpful with things.

 

[emiles97]

@angeliabell Around new years this year I’ll have a 5, 3, 1 year old and a new born. I like the idea of a small age gap. It’s hard for me right now because they’re small and aren’t as independent but this feeling wont last forever.

Only downside for me is when I’m not with my husband and I have to go somewhere with my kids. It’s like I’m trying to gather a small herd

 

[jewelslipps]

@emiles97 Just want to say, I’ll be the same. I’m due in December and my kids will be 5, just turned 4, and 1 (16 months)
Very much feeling in the thick of it but I can already see the older ones starting to get a little easier and more independent. Going to the store is a mess

 

[emiles97]

@jewelslipps YES. curbsides been my thing since the pandemic and I never stopped

 

[rand_paul_lover]

@angeliabell My last three are 3 under 2.5. 19 month gap, then 10 month gap. I love it so much

 

[quirkycanuck]

@angeliabell I have a 5, 4, 3, and 1 year old. We both work as teachers and have no family help. It was a bit crazy when we had 3 under 3 and I briefly lost my mind. But now that they are a little older it’s phenomenal. The older three are super close and play together well. They have the same interests, like the same books/tv/movies, and we can easily teach them at the same level. (Ex. Teaching 5 year old to read and 4/3 year olds can easily benefit from lessons). You do need to make time to treat them as individuals when you can.

 

[godssontoo]

@angeliabell I have 3.5, 2, and 6 week old (and no local family). It's crazy but doable.

My older two started sharing a room when #2 was 18 months. They are best friends which makes everything so much easier.

I don't necessarily feel like 6 months would have made a difference for me, but everyone is different. My 2 year old reliably naps and likes going in the stroller for walks, which is helpful right now.

ETA our gaps are 20 months and 24 months

 

[angeliabell]

@godssontoo My boys love each other but they are both such great sleepers right now in their own rooms, I worry that if we put them together they’ll keep each other up all night!

 

[moonrah]

@angeliabell Just here to say that you may be crazy, but you’re not alone in your craziness. I have a 2.5 year old, a 1 year old, and our third is due in December. I’m terrified out of my mind, but I know I will love it once we adjust!

 

[crustyfrog]

@angeliabell We have 6, 5 and turning 3 (oldest are ten months apart) it’s been a crazy whirlwind of a journey and I don’t remember all of their infant hoods, but I wouldn’t do it any other way. It’s getting easier now that they’re all older and 3 is almost potty trained.

 

[merle12]

@angeliabell Lmao hi. This is my family. My son is 3.5, daughter is 2, and I have a 3 week old.

I love the closeness in age, it’s super hard but my two older kids are best friends and I’m anxious to see how the next one fits in.

I actually want another one, and will probably keep the age gap around 2 years like I did this time.

My one heads up is that everyone seems to have a transition that nearly breaks them. If you’ve already been through it, you’ll probably be ok. But if not, the transition from 2-3 might be your undoing.

My transition from 1-2 was extremely difficult, I really struggled. 2-3 so far has been great. We’re super busy but I thrive on the chaos.

Best of luck to you and your family no matter what you decide

 

[angeliabell]

@merle12 I do worry about this too! 0-1 was really tough for me actually, big life change I guess and my first was a little colicky (and is still full of drama ) whereas my second was such an easy baby and I felt like I knew what I was doing. The transition from 1-2 was pretty seamless for us, plus we had our nanny who was a huge help. I imagine it will be super helpful having her for the 3rd as , but I agree I just hope 2-3 doesn’t rock us haha.

 

[angeliabell]

Thank you all!! I really appreciate the feedback from your experiences! I think we’re just going to go for it and see what happens I’m excited now!!

 

[kaykay8]

@angeliabell My 3 are that close, it was 3 under 4 but the last two were super close in age.

It’s doable if you have help and it isn’t the middle of a global pandemic and your partner is in the city and not on site hours away.

It wasn’t for me. I’ve seen people pull it off.

I lost something in 2020, and have yet to get it back. When I know what it is I’ll tell you, but I just know whatever it is it’s gone.

 

[sakranomoko]

@angeliabell I did this! My first 2 (girls) are 15 months apart, and were 3.5 and 2.5 when little brother was born. Sure it’s hard, but I love their bond. All 3 are in elementary school together now. The 2 girls (10 & 11) still share a room by choice. It was so nice we went on to having 2 more under 2 after that (boys) - so I vote, go for it! It’s hard, but kids are always hard!

 

[jojouk]

@angeliabell My kids are 8, 4, 3, and 1. We are expecting another this year. The middles are 17 months apart and the younger two are almost 2 years exactly. I didn’t think it was that difficult. The middles had always acted kind of like twins because they were so close. Sometimes they have a frenemy kind of relationship, they love hard and fight hard but they are fiercely protective of one another. Our youngest blended in pretty seamlessly with the older kids. They all adore her and dote on her. It was nice that the middles had each other to play with when the baby was born. I think that helped combat any strong feelings of jealousy. Going out in public alone with the younger three is not something I do often because it is WORK. It’s a lot to corral them and keep them nearby. It’s amazing how fast their tiny little legs can run when they are determined. My husband and I typically divide and conquer if we aren’t doing a full family outing. It’s nice because it gives us quality time with the kids and they look forward to their “date days” even if it’s just running errands with a parent.

 

[singsoftlytome]

@angeliabell I have this exact spacing and now my youngest is 2! They are all so close and it is really special to see! I love it for all sorts of practical reasons too. My oldest got to spend lots of time with my youngest before kindergarten, once kindergarten started (this past year) I didn’t have to work around a 3 nap schedule or anything (he has one nap at 2 and we can work around that) if I had a newborn now I couldn’t imagine having to get up and get kids ready for school, it was a luxury I see now that we had no responsibilities we could just go with the flow especially in the early days when there was no sleep! We were this little cocoon living our lives and it was really special! My only regret is that we are only having 3 and I wish I now waited so I could enjoy the newborn stage again now lol! But it all honesty I couldn’t picture a better gap and a better age range, it has proven to be very good for us!

 

[eljotas]

@angeliabell I’m crazy and I had 3 under 3 by the time I was 25! They’re 14 months apart and then 17 months apart. They are 11, 10, and almost 9yo now. Only thing I would change about my experience is to have more money. Everything is three times as expensive because it’s like having triplets. In fact, I get asked all the time if they’re triplets lol

 

[michael1958]

@angeliabell Mine are 3 in two months and 16 months (17 months as well) and we want a third. I dont think it’s crazy, but ensure you have everything thought out prior to doing it! We are waiting a bit longer because we want to enjoy the girls now and then we will start trying maybe next year some time!