2 months pregnant & I’ve gained lots of weight already. I think my bf keeps indirectly pointing it out but maybe it’s just my hormones?

[lil_worried]

He’s been pretty supportive overall. Goes out for foods I’m craving, always brings home goodies/surprises after work. Last night he got me flowers & a bunch of random gifts like stuffed animals, a Valentine’s Day card. He cried at the ultrasound, does a lot of the chores.

But it’s been a couple times now that he has made comments kind of tip toeing around how he’s noticing my weight gain. I’ve felt so bloated & heavy, out of curiosity I googled “8 week pregnant belly” to see if other women’s bellies are big like mine is right now. He called once he got to work (always calls to check in on the long drive over or when he arrives, on breaks, when he’s on the way home). I mentioned my Google search & right away he said “oh I can definitely notice a little belly. I’m starting to notice lots of changes like when your chest got even slightly bigger. So I see your body preparing & doing things.” Then he brought up his co worker that just gave birth, she’s dating another server at their restaurant job. How she didn’t start showing until she was about to give birth. It felt kind of bad, like he was comparing me so I said what does that mean? He said “just that everyone’s body is different.” I wanted to say no sh sherlock. I just hung up on him. I know it’s also me feeling more insecure than I already did & the hormones but ugh

It also didn’t feel great bc he’s brought her & her pregnancy up before, how for the 9 months she never took a shift off & how he’d always help her & make her food on the line urgently. At the time I had said something like oh she must be pretty as well for you to be at her beck & call or whatever. Right away he tried to downplay her looks. I’ve never seen her before so what do I know I guess. By now I can just tell when my bf thinks someone is hot.

A few nights ago he kept giving me looks as I kept coming to bed from the kitchen with (healthy) snacks. A yogurt, fruit, a pb&j sandwich with once slice of bread folded. We were watching a show & he randomly said about an actress I know he finds hot “that oversized jacket she’s wearing makes her look way bigger than she is.” All while I was wearing an oversized tshirt. I know I looked big. Then came over & called me “bebesota” which he has never done before. It means hot girl but chubby girl. He’s always called me bebecita. Meaning the more petite version.

Am I being too sensitive or what? Has anyone else felt like this or received comments like this from their partner/others while pregnant?

Men: what is your perspective?

 

[tiressa]

@lil_worried INFO: How much weight is “lots of weight already”?

For purely health reasons, your weight shouldn’t go up more than 5-7 lbs in the first trimester, and shouldn’t gain more than 25lbs during the whole pregnancy. It can increase the likelihood of birth complications.

If what you’re referring to is your tummy already being visible, not the actual lbs increasing rapidly, that’s a bit different. Pregnant bellies are more likely to show earlier and be more prominent in shorter women, and especially women with shorter torsos (less room for everything in their torso means the baby growing and uterus expanding, only have room to go out).

That being said, I don’t know your scenario, nor your bf and how he cares for you. None of what you described sound malicious or underhanded to me personally (I understand why it might feel like it when you clearly seem to feel sensitive about how your body is changing and that’s perfectly valid!). If anything it sounded to me like he adores his gf and how her body is changing. But perhaps I’m romanticizing it?

Regardless, it doesn’t matter how anyone here sees it, it matters that you don’t feel great about it, and ideally he cares about it enough to hear you if you share that with him. Please try to do that, and allow both of you to try to get to a better place with it.

It does, however, matter that you try to remain healthy during your pregnancy (for you and your baby’s sake) so if you’re gaining an unhealthy amount of weight (lbs wise) rapidly, please speak with your doctor about it and ask for help with it. Lastly, try to give yourself some grace as your body changes. Your body is creating a whole human being cell by cell, and your body will change immensely in a fairly short period of time, so it’s okay to have a wide range of feelings about that process. It’s okay that it doesn’t always feel comfortable to watch and feel that change to your own body in real time.

Wishing you strength and joy in this upcoming year…

 

[erwinx]

@lil_worried It sound so so bad, as I'm also hormonal mess and in the 1trimester my hb tip-toed around me but I think that you overact. He sounds like a nice guy

 

[lil_worried]

@erwinx Thank you, I think you’re right. I’m just also a hormonal mess rn how you mentioned being too.

 

[erwinx]

@lil_worried Thats OK! we all have been there and those who say that they haven't are delusional . That's why reddit groups and keeping a diary is so good - just get it out from your system and you will feel better.