16 y/o weekend curfew

rafalle777

New member
Just wondering what time you all set. My son is insisting he ‘isn’t 12 anymore’ and wants to stay out past 1am. I’m not comfortable with this at all.
 
@rafalle777 What I have learned is that when I was 16, my parents shouldn’t have let me stay out that late. I was a stoner and would party with the wrong crowd sometimes.

I’d go with 11pm. No later.
 
@arhodie I was drinking at that age but not causing any other problems for anyone else. My son isn’t even doing that. I think statistics show, in my country, kids are distinctly less interested than we were in those activities. Most of them would rather be at the gym or gaming or just on social media.
 
@tozirereers1974 Uk, Earth, the Milky Way section of I’m sure the same Universe but I get your point. In your neighbourhood it’s unthinkable. My son and his friends are very sensible people who have never put a foot wrong and we live in an incredibly safe environment. It’s extremely difficult when they’ve worked hard to earn trust and freedom.
 
@rafalle777 I used the city curfew for our kids if they were out at a “special event” like prom, a party etc. (it’s midnight here per the city)

Any other time it was depending on what they were doing and who they were with, but never later than what the city curfew was. If we had early morning plans the next day home by 10pm!
 
@neonlili That seems very reasonable. It’s going to be hard for me to reset the curfew clock when he’s keeping his nose clean. I think I’m stuck with 1am until he drops the ball.
 
@rafalle777 You’re actually not stuck there, because you’re the parent + he is, well, not an adult who still lives in your home.

You don’t like 1 am? Then make the curfew 12 am. That is, in my book, ridiculously reasonable for a 16 year old.

Glad he’s a great kid, but you still set the rules.
 
@neonlili Same. I also use the city curfew as the time to kick friends out of my house, unless they had my approval to sleep over. They accept it quite well, and police around me do enforce it.
 
@rafalle777 What is he doing?

Our kids never have a set curfew. We ask them: what are you doing? Where will you be? What time do you want to come home? And then please keep in touch.
 
@michaelo I do the same and also ask him to keep on snap maps too. He’s just going from local shops to friends house to the local parks etc. Nothing sinister. We live in extremely safe leafy suburbs.
 
@rafalle777 Hmmm, our local shops are not open until 1 am, so that would be a “let’s talk about respect for others and loitering” but if he had already moved to a friend’s house — watching a movie, gaming, at 1 am. I would not care.

However, my kids care about their grades & their activities. They have never made choices, at this point, that violate our trust or put themselves in danger. We talk about drugs, drinking, and high risk behavior A LOT. They seem to understand the risks and have the character to withstand peer pressure. They have peer groups with similar values to our families. I personally like for them to see the consequences of staying up too late, being tired, etc. while still under our roof, and stakes are lower. They will have no curfew in college so we try to let them practice & learn now how to regulate their time.

And a side note, my parents had these hard curfew rules and some of the most dangerous times in a car for me were speeding home to make curfew. Also, I do not understand how 11pm curfew magically stops a teen from engaging in drinking, drugs, or illegal behavior. If kids want to do these things, they will not let a little curfew stand in their way, would they??
 
@michaelo We’re on the same wavelength. His grades are good, he’s mature and he doesn’t cause me any problems. I think it’s just a case of monitoring the situation. He’s seriously considering joining the armed forces when he leaves school in two years. I don’t want to baby him when he’s rewarding the trust.
 
@rafalle777 I can tell you all of the great things kids can do after 1 am.....

That's the entire list.

My 16y/o might stay up to game with friends but he's not out of the house past midnight... ever that I can recall.
 
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