16 y/o weekend curfew

@rafalle777 Our 16 year old (almost 17) tried that 1am crap too.. nope. 1am is too late IMO for 16. His curfew is 11:30 on weekends.

10:30 during the week but hes usually home by 10
 
@rafalle777 Mine’s 15 but for me bedtime/curfew depends on current grades, state of bedroom, and recent attitude and helpfulness around the house. If she has straight A’s, a tidy room, helps out around the house, and treats family members with kindness, then she is acting like an adult and gets to make her own decisions regarding curfew and bedtime. If her grades, room, or attitude are crappy, then she is acting like a child and gets a child’s rules.

We have started getting along so much better after I gave her the ability to have control over her own life. I do make sure to have thorough talks about keeping herself safe and how to call for help when she has more freedoms.
 
@christiananon This is very in tune with my view on parenting at this age. If they’ve proven to be deserving of your trust and goodwill you should positively reinforce their behaviour with additional freedoms. It can also be worthwhile in certain circumstances to ‘give them enough rope to hang themselves’.
 
@rafalle777 Midnight on the weekends ( where we live, she cant be out driving after midnight ) and 10pm through the week.

Sometimes she will stay out later on the weekends, depending on the occasion.
 
@glennheath I’m in the UK, so no driving until he’s 17 which is good in that there’s no worry of an accident. There are of course a million other worries when they’re on foot. 12 seems to look like the overall consensus.
 
@rafalle777 For us, even midnight is too late. It’s 11, sometimes 1130 but incredibly situational. We’ve never had an issue with our girls arguing or missing curfew- it’s just been this is about safety.
 
@rafalle777 10 on weeknights and 12 on weekends.

Most towns and cities have some type of curfew in place that says people under the age of majority (usually 18) can't be out after a certain time (usually 12am) unless they are accompanied by a responsible adult, they are traveling to or from work, or it's an emergency. No one realizes this is the case, but you can probably look it up for your area and find out...... What it's really for, is to keep people from wandering around town in the middle of the night or hanging out in public places in the dark to prevent crime. It'd be weird for anyone to be like, pulled over and get in trouble just for being out too late. But it says what it says and I used the city curfew to validate both my daughters curfew being midnight. They occasionally asked to be out later and I usually let them.
I also still remind them, even tho they are older, that while they live here, I need them to have a reasonable schedule because I have to sleep and if they are out all night, it's hard for me to do that and then get up early.

I like to give them logical reasons for the handful of rules I have kept in place beyond "because you're too young" or "because I said so". It has been fairly successful in my opinion.

The flip side of that is that they can bring their friends over any time they want and then everyone is safe somewhere and not out roaming the roads late at night.
As a result, I have a house full of teenagers all the time and I'm ok with that.
 
@rafalle777 Midnight for my 17yo. He likes to challenge me on that periodically but it’s a nope. You can look your city’s curfew law for minors if you need support for your side.
 
@rafalle777 As long as my kids let me know where they are they don't have a curfew.

ETA: they can't legally drive after midnight so they usually are home before then. If they plan on staying out later then my husband and I go pick them up.
 
@xanti That sounds like it works for you guys and I’d be happy to do the same but my son insists on taking the opportunity to walk home listening to his music. He can’t drive until 17.
 
@rafalle777 If they're out, I'm awake. My bedtime is their must-be-home-by time. New Year's Eve was special and I did let her stay at friends' party until 1am (there were adults present), but I grumbled from 12-1pm.
 
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