@amyamelia It's dumb because it's backwards. I dunno, it's foreign to me - in my circles, no one would admit to an unplanned pregnancy. I literally don't think I've ever actually had someone tell me that, except for one friend in our 20s who was getting an abortion.
“we weren’t even trying!”
- Thread starter amyamelia
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- advice trying for a baby
healing_grace
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@amyamelia I actually got pregnant by accident once years ago. Situation wasn't good at all and I ended it. Now here I am wondering... how the actual hell?? I'm so upset about it all today (CD2) after 8 unsuccessful cycles, feeling the one year mark looming. Just.. why? Why does it have to be like this?
davidcullen
New member
@healing_grace Same here
@amyamelia My cousin did this to her husband (she stopped the pill without informing him). She even lied about the birth of her daughter (she said she came early, but the baby was perfect, and we could all see that she wasn't a 7 months baby). I find this disturbing and disrespectful for her husband and her daughter, too, born under a lie.
i_am_renewed
New member
@amyamelia I always hate the "we weren't trying!" Comment.
I'm thinking you're trying if you let your husband finish in you and not have any forms of BC. I understand that BC does fail at times.
My grandma actually had it happen she liked to share that story lol
I'm thinking you're trying if you let your husband finish in you and not have any forms of BC. I understand that BC does fail at times.
My grandma actually had it happen she liked to share that story lol
curiouscate
New member
@amyamelia People are really just out here casually admitting to sexual assault 
Personally, I do not find that comforting.
Personally, I do not find that comforting.@curiouscate I was more so implying that we don’t always know the full story when we hear things.
alfaofbetas
New member
@amyamelia How long a couple took to get pregnant is actually private medical information, and something no one has any rights to know, so it really shouldn't be a shock that the information is not accurate. It's no one's business if a couple 'lied' about their conception story.
I agree with your message to take these stories with a grain of salt and that they don't represent the truth. That's why scientific studies exist.
People gloss over the truth all the time. From the outside my wedding was perfect. Behind the scenes there was a medical emergency and I spent the first few days of my marriage in tears. Guess which story I tell people? And I don't care if it gives people the wrong impression about how often weddings go perfectly, cos it's none of their damn business.
I agree with your message to take these stories with a grain of salt and that they don't represent the truth. That's why scientific studies exist.
People gloss over the truth all the time. From the outside my wedding was perfect. Behind the scenes there was a medical emergency and I spent the first few days of my marriage in tears. Guess which story I tell people? And I don't care if it gives people the wrong impression about how often weddings go perfectly, cos it's none of their damn business.
davidcullen
New member
@alfaofbetas Actively lying about how easy it was is shitty
christinehd23
New member
@alfaofbetas This is a very reasonable post.. we should all keep things into perspective like this
nicollette
New member
@amyamelia One of my oldest friends is due in July, and she won't stop complaining about how awful pregnancy is (to be fair, she is on crutches from month 4 due to hip issues from the pregnancy but still a lot of complaining and no excitement).
She got a positive pregnancy test 2 weeks after she stopped the pill ....
Was very hard to hear. I'd just had a miscarriage and our due dates were 3 days apart.
I just keep reminding myself that everyone's journey is different, but man it feels unfair.
She got a positive pregnancy test 2 weeks after she stopped the pill ....
Was very hard to hear. I'd just had a miscarriage and our due dates were 3 days apart.
I just keep reminding myself that everyone's journey is different, but man it feels unfair.
@amyamelia I think that must be horrible to hear... but I also think it must be bc of how personally we women take it, as you wrote - we feel like there is something wrong with us personally if there are challenges...
It's super shitty to lie but there's also planned (no protection) and planned (taking temp, tracking, etc)
Anyhow - I think it's all just so much pressure that ppl really just stay in their own lane without too much thought about how harsh their handling of the situation may be on others.
It's super shitty to lie but there's also planned (no protection) and planned (taking temp, tracking, etc)
Anyhow - I think it's all just so much pressure that ppl really just stay in their own lane without too much thought about how harsh their handling of the situation may be on others.
@amyamelia It’s been 11 months of not preventing and casually trying. Well, since February actively trying. I have one blocked tube but everything else between us is good. I don’t know why it hasn’t happened yet. It’s so disappointed. Every cycle is a heartbreak.
whattimeisit
New member
@amyamelia I know someone who went through infertility for 5 years only to end up doing IVF. Then she got pregnant within 2 years with her second and with her third in 3 years. Fertility is so weird. She said she was definitely not planning for the third one. I mean imagine doing IVF for the first one and having no issues with 2nd and 3rd.
@whattimeisit That is so wild!
katrina2017
New member
@whattimeisit Yes! I know a friend's sister tried for more than 5 years for a second child (first was conceived without any issues) then ended up having to go through IVF. Then had a very surprise 3rd! Bodies are so unpredictable but they're honestly the most amazing family despite the age gap.
lovelygrace
New member
@katrina2017 My SIL works for a family that did IVF for the first two kiddos and were sure they couldn’t get pregnant without ART. Then boom they wound up with new baby all by themselves!
ilovejehovah
New member
@amyamelia Why is it that everyone in our lives all get pregnant so quickly but then I come on here and there’s thousands that say the same thing? why is it never any of our friends/family or someone close to us?!
@ilovejehovah I feel you!