@katrina2017 Urgh I feel this. My kid is 4.5 months and SUCH a FOMO baby that she just won’t lie down during the day for that long. So yes, when we play I hold her sitting up (she’s too young to do it herself) because she LIKES it. She sits in her high chair with padding for support because she LIKES it!
@historyismypassion My mil and her sister (who I love dearly and watch my baby) say that after being with me for a few days she gets spoiled and wants to be held too much. Umm ok if I want to hold my baby, especially when I work full time during the week, I will hold and cuddle my baby.
@historyismypassion My MIL and wife do not get along very well. The MIL had been very condescending to my wife since birth, and normally i stay out of it. At a celebration (I think Chinese New Year), she said something along the lines of “[my son] doesn’t eat enough. He’s too skinny.”
By this point I had enough wine and just enough of her shit to say, “you can go fuck a duck”. She’s been very upset at me since then, but she’s been saying terrible shit from day 1 like, “this house isn’t clean enough” or “or he’s not drinking enough” or whatever. Nothing was good enough. Just took me too long to snap.
I’m not sure if she’s more pissed off what I said, or more pissed I said it Cantonese and she assumed the shit she says isn’t understood by me (it is).
@historyismypassion Every time we rock our baby to sleep or walk him around the house to help him fall asleep my mil says “we’re spoiling him” or “oh no, he’s going to get used that now”. Yes, and?
@loammaincor At 4 months babe still gets rocked to sleep. We get our snuggles in and she feels safe. Even though her cries might tell you a different story... friggin FOMO!
@historyismypassion My MIL has been pushing for us to go on a date since the day we got home from the hospital! Literally I had given birth 3 days prior. Every time she came over she would offer to ‘take the baby outside’ so we could have a date?! I snapped every time and said no! Our marriage is none of her business, and I don’t want to be away from my baby! She harps on me leaving him with her and when I switched to formula she said ‘now you can go back to work and don’t have to stay at home!’... I was like, no I am still very bonded to my baby and want to take care of him. He was only 6 weeks old! My husband had a talk with her. She apologized. But first had to say that she thought I would be more ‘reasonable’. Which to her is leaving my baby at every chance? All of her baby stories sound like undiagnosed PPD. She isn’t allowed to be alone with my baby, she can’t sooth him and just wants to leave him to CIO. It makes my blood boil.
@ravensfan Haha this happened to me last week! My MIL comes over every Wednesday to spend time with the baby...she basically ignores me and brings him in the other room, saying she wants to give me a break from the baby...i guess that's nice but i don't see why she can't visit and spend time with all of us. I've been tolerating it and letting her bond with him however she wants to but last week she literally asked my husband and i "would you guys go out next Wednesday and leave me with a bottle with him?" Like no i will not! He's six weeks old, while offering a "break" is nice i have zero desire to leave him just because (it's one thing if i want to go to the grocery store, drs appointments, etc). Not to mention I'm not even sure where my husband and i would go...not like we're going out to eat with covid at the moment. It was just so strange to me...and she made it seem crazy that we hadn't "gone out just the two of us" yet...again he's six weeks old. Not like I've been cooped up in the house for six months. Grandma's can be a strange thing...not sure why she can't seem to enjoy the baby with us around too but whatever. My husband told her to stop trying to kick us out of our own house and she said she would so we'll see!
@historyismypassion Yes! This. I hung around my mom outdoors for the first time with the baby this past week. I know he gets tired and needs to take a nap every hour and a half (he’s 2.5 months old). I start putting him to sleep and she’s talking at me saying he’s not going to sleep, he’s not tired, it’s going to take forever because he’s not tired.... ten mins later he passed out for an hour. I know my child!!!
@akerlin This. Why do they always tell you your baby isn't tired? Like just because they aren't screaming doesn't mean they aren't tired. It's always mom's and grandparents too. Were they not taught to look for tiredness cues or just wait til baby screamed and then deal with it then?
@scripturalreasoning My MIL babysat for a couple of weeks back in January and her idea of "putting him down for a nap" was holding him while bouncing and singing rockabye baby in the middle of the living room. Because who doesn't sleep well when bouncing wildly and some stranger singing in your ear about babies falling from trees?
We had to explain that he needs to be put in his crib and left tf alone for an hour. He'll sleep of he wants, but he needs downtime.
@f8th60 Yes! My mom is the same and then if it takes more than 5 min to fall asleep (which it does every time until I take over) she says oh she's not tired she's hungry and you should get her a bottle! No, she's not hungry, she's tired, and now she's also stressed out lol
@scripturalreasoning It's like "he's been awake for more than two hours and ate just an hour ago, but yes, you must know my baby better, so by all means, give him another bottle and let's see how that works out for you."
@f8th60 I literally (15 minutes ago) just had this conversation with my mom. I said it's naptime, started doing routine, and she says well she doesn't seem tired, and you should let her stay up as long as possible during the day so she will sleep all night! Nope, we take regular naps to stay refreshed and in a good mood throughout the day, and I don't wait until she's crying so that way she will fall right to sleep without a fight! Baby was knocked out in 3 min flat. But nope she's not tired.
I was on the phone with my mom who was telling me about how difficult it was to soothe my nephew and how it takes so long to get him settled (4 weeks old). During our call my daughter (7 weeks old) started fussing so I asked mom if I could call her back after my kiddo was settled.
She was a little surprised when I called her back in 5 minutes. No shade on her, they are two completely different kids at two different life stages. Sometimes it does take me a while to figure out what's going on, sometimes its easy.
@historyismypassion My parents always comment about baby sleeping in a crib our room. They say, "you slept in your own room from day 1." Like yeah, you also covered me with blankets and put pillows in my crib... He will go to his own room when we're both ready!
@roterabe Crazy, especially since SIDS rates have decreased 82% in the last 30 years, BECAUSE of recommendations including sharing a room and not using pillows!
@historyismypassion I've stopped telling my mother things like "we've not had much sleep" etc because she ends up texting my wife advice when all I want is a sympathetic ear. Use your best judgement, intuition and look after each other is the main takeaway for me after 3 weeks of having a baby.
