@ashbash400 It makes me so angry/sad to hear people say things like that, or implying that youâll spoil your baby if you hold them too much. Babies are biologically programmed to be held basically all the time; itâs literally impossible to hold a baby too much or to spoil a baby
@historyismypassion I had to put in a ridiculous boundary for my sanity last week with my MIL. I sent her a funny pic of my son (10.5 months adjusted) poking disappointingly at his veggies. She circulated that pic around to friends and family commenting on how he isn't eating enough. One, he eats fine. Two, it's a PICTURE! So, now no more pics, videos or stories about his food or eating habits will be coming from me.
@amcapril People are so judgmental. First of all, babies donât come with manuals so a lot of it is trial and error. Second of all, they grow at different rates! My in-laws have recently started commenting on me pumping (I exclusively pump) and how I should just switch to formula. Bitch, I know itâs a sacrifice and when we do switch to formula it will be because I made the decision!
@themick My MIL was saying the same thing. I EBF and she was saying "don't you have to go back to work soon? You should switch to formula asap" ok mil. We will do what is best for our family thank you for your input.
@lundvithr Whatâs with people like this? My dad has a negative comment on everything too. Itâs so annoying. And I guess thatâs how he was about everything before too.
@amcapril Yes! And I know my FIL has tried to talk to her before about how she is but she ignored him. She has disrespected me and stepped over boundaries so many times now.
@lundvithr Ugh. That sucks! I think my MIL just mostly talks behind my back and I hear about it from someone else. Navigating in-law drama is exhausting.
@lundvithr Ugh, same here! Once in a blue moon I'll send a picture and then get a negative or teasing comment in reply....and then I remember why I don't send them pictures
@historyismypassion My brother told me âyour kid needs some therapyâ because heâs 16 months old and doesnât go to people he doesnât know that well. We have been pretty locked down with the pandemic so he hasnât been around many people. Had we not had a pandemic, we for sure would have taken him around other people more often; but either way- he isnât going to just fun up to someone he doesnât see often. Itâs 100% normal. I donât want my child being comfortable with just anybody. And I will not force it. If he wants to sit on my lap when we are around people, Iâm all good with it.
@jencitamaria Iâve read somewhere that not having stranger danger is actually a sign of insecure attachment. The child doesnât see their parent as special or different or âsaferâ than other adults, so the child freely forms attachments to everybody and anybody. I canât remember the source sorry, but it can be one of the possible reactions that young kids have to abuse/neglect.
@brokendaily Anecdotally I think this is true. Iâm a paramedic and we often go into very dysfunctional households to treat patients - weâre talking households with multiple adults living there irregularly, parents on drugs and/or with very poor mental health, various uncles or cousins or whatever who are in and out of prison, people who disappear and reappear later, etc etc. The kids in these households are some of the most calm and unafraid Iâve ever met. Strangers, even strange authority figures, create absolutely no intimidation for them - even the young young ones who should be attached to mum and dad at that age. They come to you without question, they would happily let us take them away without their parents and wouldnât worry. Total lack of strong parent attachment. Itâs pretty sad when you think about it that way.
@jencitamaria I have some anxiety about the pandemic affecting my son's social development, but then I remember that my mom ran a daycare out of her home for the first 6 years of my life and I interacted with my fair share of kids and adults, and I had crippling stranger danger from ~9 months to 3 years old. And I'm a perfectly social adult now. It just depends on the kid!
@historyismypassion People are gross. I was talking to an older family member about the particularly rough week we've had, little guy just turned 3 months and definitely was having a growth spurt, and their response was "what's wrong with him" "that's not right."
ok mil. We will do what is best for our family thank you for your input.