Y'all these BST groups are wild

@dahveed This is what I've been trying to get across to my husband. We have a stretchy wrap, two ring slings (one woven, one in water mesh), a mei dei, and an onbuhimo. We also have an Ergo Omni360 that only he uses - because I don't want to mess with his straps too much. He thinks it's just too much, but the shoe comparison is apt.

My kid is ~24 lbs and tall at this point, so the stretchy wrap and ring slings are put away - I just can't get them to work at this point.

I mostly use the onbuhimo, which is great for quick/short ups like when the kid is wailing and I just need to grab a load of laundry or get through the last 15 minutes of a conference call. However, I have a crappy back and bad posture - it would be nice to have something a bit more structured and supportive for longers ups.
 
@dahveed Most subreddits end up turning into “stash” shots that are people excessively buying things because they’re tricked into thinking they need them or they look satisfying. I had to unsubscribe from r/skincareaddiction because what I thought was learning to take care of my skin was just repetitive posts of people buying 100 products and posting pictures of them saying “I think I’m missing something?!” Cloth diapers seems to be the same but TBH depending on how much you hate laundry you might actually need that many.
 
@bornagain95 Pretty much everywhere is obsessed with hoarding I feel like. Skincare, makeup, babywearing, baking, camping, hiking, climbing, sailing. Every hobby I have has a community centered on the latest and greatest things. I quit my bumper group and stay out of most general parenting groups though because I feel like they're the worst culprits. It's so easy to feel compelled to shop for kid stuff and quickly accumulate way too much of it, since babies/toddlers outgrow things so rapidly.
 
@bornagain95 Cloth diapers are definitely the same. There's a particular brand that people obsess over and have massive stashes of hundreds of diapers. The number of new-in-package diapers sold on the brand's b/s/t page is ridiculous - why buy a diaper you're not planning to use?

I bought into the hype and purchased about a dozen of that brand. The designs are super cute, and I almost got sucked into buying more, but they just don't work for my family. They leak, they don't fit my kid, and the elsastics in the brand new diapers already seemed relaxed. I asked about it in the cloth diaper subreddit and just had a bunch of people chiming in that they didn't have trouble with them at all.

Meanwhile, I got some diapers from another, marginally more expensive, brand with fewer designs and (moderately) less hype, and it's been great. I bought some covers second-hand that are years old, and they're still in great shape. I've pretty much converted my entire diapering system to this other brand.

Hype can be so toxic and it doesn't help that parents (moms especially) are targeted so hard.
 
@lauren5 I’m very fortunate my cousin gave me her stash so I could try it out or I would have done the same. And plus I find different brands and types work better at different times so I can’t imagine throwing all my money at just one.

The prints are hard not to buy a ton of, though. They’re so damn cute but I have to remind myself she does not need 100 diapers.
 
@lauren5 I think I know what brand you’re talking about haha. When I was pregnant a friend recommended this brand to me, and so I joined the FB group to see if I could find more info/a deal on diapers. And then I saw this same friend had posted a few times asking for help because these diapers keep leaking on her baby! I was like, why would you recommend a brand that isn’t working for you?? So yeah I used a slightly more expensive brand for my stash and am super happy!
 
@nathilidou I started to fall into this trap with my first, and I feel that for me, it was like a postpartum vulnerability. I'm a very frugal, not-materialistic person, and all of a sudden I had a wishlist of colorways. I bought all sorts of things in the first year of my kid's life that were totally out of character for me. I feel like there should be regulations around marketing to new parents, ha!

I'm due with baby #2 in April and wondering if it's going to happen again. I'm having a girl this time, so there's a whole new world of accessories I could get sucked into. Now that I know better, I hope I can stay away!
 
@francolepza Thanks for articulating this! I’m only now just starting to realize that all the things I was obsessed with (baby slings, HBCs, a particular brand of Australian baby clothes) were my way of coping with having a baby in a pandemic. I found myself obsessing with colorways and admiring people’s’ stash shots and falling down various internet rabbit holes! I feel like now that you’ve been through it once you’ll know when you’re getting sucked in... maybe?
 
@francolepza Same here. I'm normally really frugal but I didn't have the energy to research or shop around when my boy was born. Even now, if I've had a tough day with my baby I become a lot more impulsive as soon as he falls asleep.
 
@francolepza Definitely found myself there too, with baby carriers and cloth diapers. It was always the worst if I was awake in the middle of the night and was extra stressed about baby. And those communities make you feel like you have to have it all. Idk what it is about those groups that is so effective at sucking you into buying things you don't really need.

Luckily I never spent excessive amounts of money and was able to resale what I didn't need for what I paid.but as a safegaurd I have now instituted a strict 1 in 1 out rule for baby carriers and diapers and asked my husband to be the enforcer.
 
@katrina2017 Ome thing I'm finding about wraps is that I don't lose much by buying, trying, and selling on. People here are obsessed with sling libraries, but honestly I've wasted more money that way instead of buying and selling.
 
@nathilidou Just the regular groups are weird! I joined a brand specific one after getting a second-hand carrier and you have to provide image descriptions with pictures.... okay, cool, inclusive! Except none of these women (including admins) actually know HOW to caption an image and it's all just gross back patting, the descriptions are ridiculous and useless to anyone who would need them.

They're also super obsessed with collecting all of them, some people have spent not so small fortunes on stuff their kids are gonna puke on anyway!

edit: a word
 
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