WWYD, kindergarten for July baby?

J

jellofishxo

New member
ETA- THANK YOU, thank you, thank you! This all helped me realize I’m more worried than I need to be. I loved hearing perspectives from both sides. Every kid is so different. I just worry that I’m making the wrong choice either way 😩 but it’s one of those tough parenting decisions. I should also add that he’s an early July (first week).

I have struggled with this since my son was born in 2019. Shoot I love having summer babies (have an august one as well) but hate this decision.

I am an August baby and went to Kindergarten at 6. My cousin and I live about 8 hours from our family. She lives down the street. We both have almost 4 year old boys with July birthdays. So we are faced with Kindergarten next year at 5 or at 6.

I’ve always been Team Go At 6.
Both our boys are in separate daycares with the last class before K being 4-turning-5 year olds. So after next school year (2023-2024), they’ll age out.
My director offered for my son to repeat the last year but my cousin and I both planned to send our kids to private PreK for a year (cheaper than daycare and we could share pickup / drop off duties).
My son is currently towards the youngest in his class (he turns 4 in July and they’re mostly already 4).

Now my cousin decides she’s ready to send hers at 5.
Both our boys are very smart. Mine was shy-er but has come out of his shell. I don’t worry about him academically but more emotionally than anything. His daycare director has told me she thinks he’s ready for Kindergarten and so did our district speech/OT/counselor team.
Between both couples we all work FT and rely on daycare for the most part, so a major reason for her decision is the cost of daycare (I don’t blame her, but am trying to not worry/think about that as a major factor).

I thought I was all set on this decision and I KNOW I shouldn’t expect my cousin to do the same as me, nor should i make a decision based on her, but I’m a thrown off that we were on the same page and now our kids may not go to school together. They’re 2 weeks apart IRL!

WWYD!? Cut off here is September 1.
 
@jellofishxo I think it’s important to base it off your child’s actual readiness instead of a number. If everyone thinks they are ready at 5, and you agree, then I don’t see an issue.

Anecdotally I have a late September birthday, so I started kindergarten at 4 and college at 17. I never had any issues socially or academically.
 
@j0shbegss Mid Sept here. Did you have to fax waivers home during the first weeks of college like I did? People swore I skipped a grade but I assured them I was just as average as they are. It was fun having my entire friend group out for my 21st though.
 
@irishsteve Same here with the very end of July. I was one of the top of my class and fine socially. My brother was early July and also went at 5. He was perhaps not as socially ready but was very much so academically and would've been frustrated being "held back."

My next baby will be born in August towards the cutoff date and I'll decide when he's 4, but my general inclination for most kids is not to "red shirt."
 
@jellofishxo As an august baby myself, I’m team go at 5. I have a late July kid who will absolutely go at 5, tho she’s not even 3 yet now. I never saw a reason to hold back a year unless you feel your kid truly isn’t ready, though it sounds like his teachers think he is. I guess my question would be why do you think he needs to wait another year if everyone else is saying he’s ready? Ultimately, you’re the parent and get to do what you feel is right. So no one can make this decision for you.
 
@ryleehurleyc Thank you! I appreciate this point of view. I do think he’s ready. I think the thing I worry about is emotionally if he’s ready and then down the road when he’s 17 as a senior that will feel so young. But people send their 5 year olds all the time! And worst case he can repeat Kindergarten if we feel it’s needed.
 
@jellofishxo I am an August baby and went at 5. I was always at the top of my class throughout all of school academically. I was painfully shy and I'm sure the argument could have been made that I was ready emotionally, but it would have probably just made it worse being the oldest in my class. I did make strong friendships.
 
@jellofishxo I don't get waiting a year at all. I was 4 when I started kindergarten, Sept 30th birthday. I was very shy but waiting a year would have changed nothing in that regard. I loved school. Your child isn't delayed or behind their peers, is ready for school so why hold him back? It isn't weird at all here (Canada) to graduate HS at 17. Most of my friends in school were born after me. My son's birthday is July 31 and I wouldn't think twice about starting kindergarten right after he turns 5.
 
@jellofishxo 17 is a young senior, but that's okay! There are all sorts of travel and volunteer programs that your kid can do in between senior year and their first year of college if you really feel like they need another year to grow up before going to college.
 
@kenja824 And with a July bday, they’ll turn 18 before they start college that August anyway. Compared to some comments with late aug/sept birthdays that have the still 17 and starting struggle
 
@kenja824 I wonder if it’s better to be 17.5 or 18.5 when you graduate. That’s what we’re working with due to a late fall bday. To be fair i don’t have a choice. They apparently don’t consider exceptions when you’re as far from the cut off as we are, but I do wonder if I was given the choice which would be better.
 
@paradise_falls I was 17.5 due to skipping a grade, and I did not do well in my first year, hahah. I don't know if another year would have helped though. I did poorly because I severely underestimated how much studying I needed to do, since I breezed through high school without ever studying (except for Math class). I spent way too much time socializing and partying in the dorms with my friends. I was too young to drink (the minimum age is 19 here in Canada) but that didn't prevent me from partying...there were always people hanging around the dorms and having house parties.
 
@paradise_falls I was 18.5 when I graduated and my age never ever crossed my mind. It also never even crossed my mind for those who weren't 18 by graduation! But maybe it's something they thought about. Just my two cents on personal experience.
 
@jellofishxo Yeah I mean I was always one of the youngest in my class but did very well academically and it was never an issue. I was also always more mature for my age anyway so had i been held back and the oldest in my class I think it would have been a slight disadvantage in terms of interactions with peers. It doesn’t sound like the case for you but from my experience in knowing others with a summer birthday, those that went at 5 have no complaints. But those that went at 6 have expressed they wish they went sooner. Again this is just my small little world of experience so that’s certainly not statistically significant or anything but just something I’ve noted. My BIL was held back and while it did help him in athletics, he hated being the oldest one in his class and felt like he was too old.

But also at the end of the day, we’re talking a year. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t think one way or the other will hugely impact his life positively or negatively. I think either choice is completely fine and will be the right choice for you and him.
 
@jellofishxo From what I was told it is substantially harder to keep a child back once they start kindergarten then push them ahead and skip a grade. So to repeat kindergarten might not be your choice or even an option
 
@jellofishxo I was a 17 year old senior and the only thing that ended up being weird about it was that I graduated college at 20 since I finished in 3 years due to college classes in high school. Kinda funky to graduate before you can legally drink, but wasn't an actual issue.
 
@jellofishxo You can repeat a grade at any age, preferably before middle school so middle to high school they’ll stay in the same grade. That way they get started at 5 but can reassess.
 
@jellofishxo My sister was a fall baby and ended up as the oldest kid in her class. In addition to being bored/unchallenged by the material, she struggled to connect with kids she thought were below her (maybe due to her age or her advanced academic abilities). After seeing her experience, I wouldn’t hold my child back.
 
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