@jellofishxo I’d 100% redshirt a boy because they’d have more of an advantage in sports (if that’s what they wanted) and they are IMO often emotionally/socially behind the girls. My friend didn’t red shirt her august kid and had to hold him back in 1st grade, which was worse than waiting until he was 6 to start. All his friends got to move on and he had to stay behind. But now he’s doing way better academically.
I was a july baby and graduated at 17, was the last to get my drivers license, still felt like a kid going off to college. I couldn’t do a lot of legal stuff, like get a job on my own etc even though i had graduated because I was still a minor.
@riverrat Yeah same. I was surprised that the trend of these answers tend to be the opposite. I’m sending my July baby this year at age six. I work in a career where I come across tons of people so ended up asking pretty much every teacher I came across what they thought. Not one single person said to send him at five. My teacher friend was especially adamant. They told me that boys do well academically, socially, and physically being kept back. They said it even becomes evident in middle school who the younger kids are in the class since they can tend me be less mature (I’m told this is more the case with boys than girls) and I want him to be able to keep up. Then I read almost every article I could on it. My son’s teachers said he was ready to go last year but I had a wonderful time keeping him with me one more year for adventures, swim classes, play groups, sports classes, etc. and just letting him be little (he’s with me two days weekly with his four year old brother). I have no regrets. I’m the only one parent who kept my summer birthday son back in his preschool but my brother lives in a really nice town and all the summer kids were kept back which validated me too. My child does not get bored easily and gets along with everyone so I’m not concerned about that. He’s bigger than a lot of children in his class (but he’s super tall anyway) but is still best friends with all of them. I’m sure all kids end up just fine no matter what the decision is but this is a big topic now so I went with what I was reading and what I was hearing from teachers. Good luck!!
@john1960 Yea in my area it’s pretty much the norm now. Also, as a july baby who wasn’t kept back, I was still bored and ahead of my class but that didn’t have to do with the material. Even if your kid is smart it doesn’t mean they will be less bored with older kids.
@jellofishxo My August kid is starting kindergarten this fall about a week after his fifth birthday. His teacher, OT, and SLP all agree not only that he’s ready but that would be bored and likely disruptive in JrK class. He’s always done well watching and learning from the other kids so I think he will do better as youngest than oldest. Not paying for another year of daycare is a bonus for us but not the reason.
@jellofishxo 6! All day, everyday, every kid. Go to K at just 6 not just 5. It'll make a remarkable difference in your child's entire education. Go at 6. (I'm a teacher and mom).
@jellofishxo In my state the cut off is December 31st and I think it's crazy parents with summer babies are considering holding their kids (unless strongly recommended by the school)
I went at 4, I have a December birthday. My sons are August (and he will go at 5!) And my little guy is a NYE baby so I will hold him, just because he truly is born on the cut off date.
I think it's wrong that parents want to hold their kids back to get them some sort of edge. Your cheating your kid the opportunity to go to school with their peers! It's obviously your decision, but if you have a smart kid and think they are ready, don't hold him!
@jellofishxo My daughter was born in July and we are waiting until she's 6 to start, too many perks of being an older kid in the class that offset the savings of not paying daycare an extra year.
@jede289 Sounds like me; I turned 6 a few months into the school year but I was just considered older for my grade (in NJ, the state cut off is October 1st, and I’m November 17th). My parents had to do IVF and went through infertility so they really enjoyed having an extra year of me. I’m similar with my daughter (also an only IVF living child); she’s born June 14th and since we’re in NY state where the cut off is December 1st she’ll start kindergarten for school year 2024-2025. However, I also have a Master’s in Early Childhood Gen & Special Education and 5 teaching certifications, and per my coursework and experiences if my child was a boy and if they seemed even somewhat delayed I’d hold them back since boys do tend to need that extra time (my dad, in his mid 70s, always resented the fact that he was the youngest of his grade: his November 21st and the cut off in West Virginia at the time was December 1st).
@jellofishxo I’m not sure if you’ll see this reply, OP, but the science suggests holding your kid back when they are of kindergarten age (called “redshirting”) is not a positive thing for the child in the long term, despite having some short term benefits.
@jellofishxo But you do have another whole year of daycare to think about it before you have to make a decision, yes? Same for your cousin. Things could change in a year. Your son will change a lot in a year and that might help you gain clarity either way. Ultimately the decision should be an individual one so you really need to go with your spidey sense in relation to your particular son. From your description of his personality, my gut kinda tells me that he might benefit from waiting. He might be totally overwhelmed emotionally. I actually worry the same for my son who is also shy. But, I’m not going to fret about it at least until next spring.
@beachgal77 True- but I need to register him for the PreK in November or Kindergarten in March so I really have like six months if i want to secure schooling beyond daycare. Although that six months could mean a lot with his development so we’ll see! I do worry more about the emotions than anything- just socially dealing with other kids, even. I think he’d be fine but because I went at 6 I feel like that’s what I “should” do. I also need to ignore what my mother says
@jellofishxo Does the private pre-K have a private K option? You could always send him to private school for kindergarten which is probably still cheaper than daycare, and then if he excels switch to public school for 1st grade, and if he still needs some development you could do public kinder the next year without the stigma of repeating a year because it was at a different school.
@jellofishxo I’m an early childhood special education teacher, and you mentioned he receives speech and OT. Is that through the public schools? In my district, if a parent decides not to send their child to K when age eligible, they lose any public school special education services. Something to consider.
@jjgodman So he actually did not qualify for speech. Our district offers speech to children that qualify, then also have a special needs preschool and the assessment covers both, and you can qualify for none/one/both. He did not qualify and they were kind of like “I don’t even know why you’re here, he’s definitely right on target”. He just needs help with a few sounds which is why he was recommended to do the assessment.
@jellofishxo My son was born July 19 and just finished kindergarten. I've read the pros and cons but we never had an inkling that he wasn't ready; he has always loved academics and being challenged and we sent him and he had a fantastic year. But I think if there are ever any doubts, it can't hurt to wait another year. My daughter is a completely different kid; she's only 4 and won't be 5 until next September but I can see waiting for her because I think socially she'd have a tougher time.
@jellofishxo I'm team "when they're ready." I'm a summer kid myself, almost always the youngest of my classes growing up. I was ready for preschool at the earliest accepted age, though I needed a bit of a social push. Which is exactly what preschool was for! My son is about to be 3 and I have him enrolled into preschool (ours starts at 3, not sure if that's an everywhere thing or not). You bet I'm going to, as the kids these days say, yeet him out the door for it. He's behind on speech and this is such a golden opportunity!
I'd take a few days and write down pros and cons with your SO. Then talk with your cousin to see if there's some ideas you haven't thought of. Then, sleep on it for at least one night. You can make your decision based off of your list, though keep it realistic! My husband was dead set against preschool because he wasn't ready for it. That, and school here kinda suck lol. But after doing a pros/cons list, lots of research online and by word of mouth, and encouragement from my son's speech therapist, my husband felt more comfortable signing our son up for school. Now he's more excited than I am for him to start lol.
