@jellofishxo Send him. I have an October baby. Cutoff in our district is Dec 1. He is the youngest in his class and he has THRIVED. Another year of pre-k wouldn’t have helped him at all.
Being around older kids has helped him mature and form strong bonds with his classmates. He started kindergarten at 4 and we had no issues.
@jellofishxo I have two late summer boys and will hold them both back. They do preschool at 5 and kindy at 6. Kindy is way too complicated these days and I want my kids to have the time to just be kids before they start having homework.
@jellofishxo Both of mine are August babies. We did kindergarten at 6 for our daughter and I’m so so glad we did. We will do the same when our son is older. I’m a SAHM though, we didn’t do daycare and she did pre-k at 5, so our circumstances are different.
I have a cousin who did kindergarten at 4 so her and i could go together. She did great and never had problems socially or academically. I think it really comes down to your son and what you think he’s ready for. I know that’s not very helpful, I’m sorry.
It sucks that you had a plan you were confident in, and now there’s a big wrench in it. I don’t envy your position. No matter what parenting decisions I make, I always question myself a million times. Just try to do what’s best for your child and family. It’s okay to stick to your original plan. It’s also okay to go along with your cousin to keep the boys together.
@jellofishxo It's really all about readiness. I'm a July baby. My parents sent me 'early' and I was a mess. Granted I was really shy, probably would have helped if I had done daycare or something when I was younger but either way because I was such a mess with preschool they decided to send me to preschool a second year and I started kindergarten at 6. Yeah I was always the oldest in the class, but I was never embarrassed by it.
Mine was an introverted low confidence kid who did not have the mental maturity as his peers at the decision time. We held him back to develop confidence and it was been hands down the best decision we’ve ever made thus far. We see him blossom from an easily stressed and scared individual to someone who is always volunteering to help the teacher bc he now has that “leader” confidence from being one of the oldest. All the teachers I spoke with was glad and supported my decision, and many of them gave me stories of seeing younger kids struggle and playing catch up half the time.
Another thing to consider- the public system makes it very hard to “fail” someone in case you decide later on to hold back (and esp older when the kids can see someone being held back and potentially make fun of them for it).
@jellofishxo What is your state’s cut off? Per New York State legal regulations (their cut off is December 1st) my daughter turns 4 next week and will start kindergarten for school year 2024-2025
@jellofishxo Nice. That’s what I wish it was here in New York as well as all the states (I think all states should have some uniformity in that regard). Honestly if your child is a boy and if they were born in august and if they seemed delayed, I’d consider holding them back…but that’s also because I’ve seen boys struggle a lot with that (I have a Master’s in Early Childhood General and Special Education; also 5 teaching certifications since it’s hardcore here). Additionally, my dad was born a few weeks before the cut off date and thus the youngest in his grade and he despised it. Even now in his mid 70s he still says he could’ve benefitted from extra time to mature.
@jellofishxo If the kid is ready send them! I was a August baby and was 5yo in kindergarten. My mom started me because I was ready and I never have a problem being on the younger age. But really it’s not a huge deal either way. There were kids a grade below me that were older but they seemed great as well!
@jellofishxo Another important piece of info to factor into this decision is your location. I have an almost-two year old born in late August, so I will be in the same boat as you in a few years. I was very much team “send them if they’re ready” due in part to daycare cost and generally my own positive experience as youngerish kid in my class, but I grew up on the US southern east coast and now I’m living in the Pacific NW in Seattle ‘burb tech-land. I do not have tech money, but everyone else in the school district does, and none of them will be sending their babies to school any earlier than they have to. It’s extremely common here for even March/April kids to be redshirted to give them any possible advantage. So if my kid were to go on time, she would be the youngest by far.
@jellofishxo I actually just listened to a podcast yesterday that talked about the gendered developmental differences between boys and girls and basically the conclusion was that (on average) boys should start a year later than girls. I have a late July boy too and would lean towards starting him a year later unless he’s showing a lot of signs of readiness. Apparently this is already a choice that parents are making more often in affluent school districts.
If you’re interested it was the Ezra Klein podcast from within the last year and I thought it was a really good conversation on this topic (as somebody who has some expertise in this specific area).
@jellofishxo I wouldn’t worry too much about the “being bored and not challenged” comments. Times are different now. My son born on 7/31 went at 5, and last year as a 14 year old freshman completed his 11th grade classes. Times are much different now. However, he thrives academically but definitely seems younger than the rest of his friends sometimes. His sister was born on 8/1 and I started her at 6. I have never regretted either decision really, it very much depends on the kid. His preschool teacher can definitely guide you in the right direction, they usually have a pretty good idea where the kiddos stand.
@jellofishxo I always found it a little nebulous how people just generally talk about social/emotional readiness without actually defining what it means to be socially and emotionally ready. From what I can tell, it's more about whether the kid can maintain attention and follow directions, get along with others and navigate conflict (i.e., what happens when they don't get their way / have to take turns), can play and do things like dress and potty independently, communicate their needs and feelings with words (instead of hitting or crying), and calm themselves and work through minor problems, etc.
My oldest is also a 2019 kid, and I have him in a weekend gymnastics class with other kids of his age. I would say my kid is shy in that he is a little more reserved and takes a bit to warm up to people, but he also has no problems being in the class by himself, listens to instructions, and interacts well with the instructors, etc. There are other kids in the class who I would say aren't emotionally "ready" in that they cry when the parents leave the room and refuse to participate, etc. I think since we mainly see our kid, we can sometimes hyperfocus on their behavior and things that could be improved, but when you can actually see them in situations with a wider group of children in their age group, it helps put them into focus better. Your kid could actually be quite ready and thrive well starting a little earlier than later.
@writeletters15 Thank you!! You’re so right. My son adjusts pretty well even if it’s a little rough at first. I really think he’d be okay. His teachers have explained that he is pretty self aware with his peers, sometimes knowing he wants to play alone, and walks away from conflict. So I guess I don’t have as much of a concern there as I initially thought.
@jellofishxo If my kiddo had this option, I would definitely be Team 6. Studies have been done that found meaningful benefits to kids who are the oldest in their school cohort as well as some negatives for kids who are the youngest in their cohort.
I would also not worry too much about what other people are doing...if you think it's best for your kid to wait then you shouldn't feel guilty waiting to send him to Kindergarden, even if others in your family aren't doing the same thing.
@jellofishxo Older children, especially academically gifted ones, struggle with being placed with younger kids. At those ages, a year is a big deal developmentally. They get bored because the work is too easy, they get ostracized because they play different (read older,) and overall, unless they have pretty severe social impediments, it’s not worth it. I started at 6 and it was awful.
