What would you do? I need advice on this situation with my 16/f daughter!

[k3at]

Update!: After 8 days, the theater teacher hasn’t responded to my email or returned my three phone calls so I finally went over his head and went to the principal. Who said “of course you can come! We’d love to have you!” So PHEW!!!! Thank you for all your words of support and encouragement!

I have a wonderful 16 year old
daughter who is a theater major at her highschool. She recently got cast in the school play and I’ve been helping her run lines and we are all very proud of her. I have a trip coming up but before I booked it, I made sure it didn’t coincide with her show because I wouldn’t want to miss it. Fast forward a month, we are two weeks out from opening night and I leave the day after. Well two days ago, my daughter tells me devastating news. What we thought was opening night actually is just a showing for the school and the public showing is after I’ve already left on this trip!!! I checked and none of my bookings are refundable so if I didn’t go, I would eat 600$. I reached out to her theater teacher and pleaded with him to allow me to be their for the school showing but I haven’t heard back yet. What would you do??? It means so much to my daughter to be there and we would both be devastated if I missed it but also that’s a lot of money and I tried my best. I’m really stuck on this one.

Edit 1: STILL haven’t heard back from the teacher. I emailed him almost a week ago and today I called and left a message.

 

[dcjh]

@k3at I'd wait to hear back from the teacher - I can't imagine you wouldn't be able to go to that showing.

 

[k3at]

@dcjh I hope that’s the case!! I groveled in my email to him. I wasn’t afraid to embarrass myself lol

 

[ansje]

@k3at Don't borrow trouble. There is no reason the teacher should deny your request. Go to the early showing and bring her flowers. Have friends or family attend the other shows, also with flowers. Make sure the school films at least one of the "real" performances.

It'll work out just fine.

 

[bogdan]

@ansje This right here. That early showing/matinee is usually for the elderly or people with small children or those looking for a discount. My high school drama club did the same thing.

Show up for early showing, pay for a ticket like anyone else and walk in like you belong. I can’t see them making a deal out of it at all, but if they do, it’s a life lesson on disappointment and if she’s a theatre major then she’ll have university plays and a whole future of plays you’ll be able to attend.

 

[emmap]

@bogdan Totally. Teachers love to see people in the audience and their challenge is usually getting people in seats.

 

[xylophoio]

@k3at Just show up for the school showing- this happens all the time.

(Also consider attending a final dress rehearsal)

I used to sneak into dress rehearsals to take photos for my theater/ dance kid.

It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

 

[k3at]

@xylophoio Oooo I like this idea

 

[lorial]

@k3at Just show up for the showing. Also taking a later flight and just arriving later to your original trip may be cheaper than scanning the actual trip in a worst case scenario.

 

[jyne]

@k3at I can't imagine the teacher saying no. Let us know OP!

 

[stefancazacu36]

@k3at Show up for the pre show. Im seeing a lot of mom guiltily on here and it's shameful. Bring flowers or make a donation.

 

[sparrowfeet]

@k3at These years fly by— I would be at all the showings, most likely. But, that’s just me. I’m going to be honest and I thought you were headed towards you were going to miss one showing of the play, not all of them. I’m not trying to do mama guilt, but I would have a hard time not being there - especially now what my kid is college and those opportunities have dried up.

 

[elephas]

@sparrowfeet At the same time, losing $600 is no joke. I think waiting for the teacher to reply is the best bet at this point.

 

[aculturewarrior]

@sparrowfeet This. The kids will always remember the parents not being there. Trust me. That $600 isn’t worth the potential of a kid forever remembering their parent not being at the big show.
My parents made it to most of my events in school but I still remember every time when my parents had business trips and couldn’t attend.

 

[joshuaaa]

@k3at $600 is a lot of money, but money comes and goes in life.

Time with your daughter is priceless.

When you're on your deathbed, will you look back, will you miss the $600 or regret not being there for her? That is the question to ask yourself.

 

[joshuaaa]

Lo.l.. down voters choose $$ over their own daughter. Sad.

 

[thecloacalburden]

@joshuaaa I don’t understand why people are downvoting parents who say “I would choose watching my child perform over $600.” As if that is bad parenting?

 

[tito1990]

@k3at i'm sure you will be able to go to the school showing

 

[jiminz]

@k3at I have a theatre kid. I can't imagine the teacher telling you no on the school show.

I've never made all my kids' performances for a show, i usually attend 2, do back stage for another. Miss the others (I have other kids).

But I do make sure someone is at every performance. So that may be collaborating with family and friends to make all shows have someone there. The max number of performances my kid has had for a show is 8, though, so I'm not talking about the professional shows of 70+

You can also see if you can volunteer for other stuff - like tech week. That way you're involved in more of it, even if it isn't the performances.

Is this your child's first performance?

 

[muel57]

@k3at Can you sell the trip bookings to someone else?