We offer 2yo 11 hours sleep every 24h, but he has big split nights still. Is offering less really the way to go? He’s always tired!

[tavott]

We’ve struggled with split nights basically for the past year, and most of the time reducing sleep offered has helped.

I’m wondering if that’s really the right solution this time.

My 26 month old wakes for about 1-4 hours every night. I have to sleep in his room when it happens, but I can sleep and he’ll just roll around in his cot, sing, talk to himself, play with my hand etc.

I cap his nap at 1 hour, and I wake him at 6am every morning and he’s always super tired. He sleeps 8pm-6am with nap 12pm-1pm. I always have to wake him. So we offer 11 hours but because of his nightly split nights he sleeps about 7-9 hours a day.

Is reducing sleep even more really the right play here? I feel like he’s already getting so little and he’s so tired when I wake him. Plus we’re always pushing him till nap/bed every day.

He’s perfectly happy when he wakes during his split nights as long as he’s not alone. (He didn’t used to be happy but he’s okay now)
He doesn’t play with toys, doesn’t get out of bed etc, he literally just keeps himself amused for hours.

I’m so confused!

 

[tulips6219]

@tavott I would start with not waking him, see what his body does naturally

 

[tavott]

@tulips6219 It is an option… I reckon he’d sleep in heaps then just go to bed really late and that’d probably just keep getting pushed out. I’m 33 weeks pregnant and can’t stay up and need my sleep lol

But I don’t know for sure, I should try it and see what happens

 

[tulips6219]

@tavott Maybe, but if you lessen the time he sleeps you’re essentially lessening the time you can sleep too lol

 

[fkjg]

@tulips6219 I would do this and also talk to your pediatrician and see what they recommend.

 

[dorsetanglican97]

@tavott I also agree with more sleep not less. If our kiddo gets over tired she wakes more frequently at night. She’s 2.5 also and sleeps from 7pm-7am and has a nap from 1-3pm usually. Sometimes she only naps for 90min and sometimes we have to wake her up at 3:30 so her bedtime isn’t affected. Our sleep consultant was the first one to suggest more sleep and it’s definitely been true for us.

 

[tavott]

@dorsetanglican97 Holy moly 15 hours sleep a day is insane (in a good way!) my son is doing half that!!

I guess it’s always been said that night wakes = too much sleep, so when it happens I shorten nap, push out bed etc to gather up more awake time and that has usually helped.
I’m just reluctant to do that this time because what sleep I’m offering is already so little.

 

[carleo]

@tavott Ours (3 and 5) are also usually asleep by 8:30 and wake at 7:15 and sometimes nap from 1:00-3:00.
More sleep

 

[quos]

@carleo Another vote for more sleep, my 3 year Olds will sleep 13 hours a night if we don't have to get up earlier for daycare, and are still having the occasional nap too. At 2 they were having a 2-3 hour nap and sleeping 10-11 hours at night.

 

[tavott]

@quos This all started around 16 months. We used to do 7-7 with a 2 hour nap, then the insane split nights started. So we reduced sleep by pushing bed back or culling nap a bit and it would get better.
Then every few months the split nights start up again and we just cull more sleep by either pushing back bed, waking him earlier in the day, or capping nap earlier or a combination of all. But now we’re at a point where I’m reluctant to do this anymore because we’re offering so little.

I could try it, it’d be amazing to have more sleep for me too. Not like I have anything to lose at this point haha

 

[quos]

@tavott Definitely worth a shot its so much trial and error, it doesn't help that all kids are so different though right. Hopefully something works for you!

 

[dorsetanglican97]

@tavott The split sleep thing could have just been a sleep regression, teething, mental leap or growth spurt. All of which can cause a disruption in sleep pattern. Just mastering a new skill can cause them to sleep less because they are excited and want to practice it. So something like learning to walk or run or new words can really disrupt sleep. It was suggested to us whenever a sleep pattern changes to wait 2 weeks before adjusting anything sleep schedule wise. To make sure it’s not just something I mentioned above. A better sign to look out for would be taking a long time to fall asleep. That might indicate needing less sleep. But only after it’s been 2 weeks. Sometimes my kids sleep changes for a week and a half before returning to the old pattern. Not every kid needs as much as my daughter but it sounds like your son is very over tired. Definitely don’t reduce his sleep any more. The more over tired he is, the crappier the sleep quality will be.

 

[clarrisa]

@tavott Maybe controversial, but, one day I would let him sleep in as long as he needs, then not let him nap at all, and get him off to bed at 7pm and see if that resets him. It'll be a hard day, and the dropped nap would just be one day, maybe a couple but not back to back.

I can count on fixing my daughter's sleep cycle when it gets wonky with a dropped nap. Usually it happens on her own accord though.

 

[tavott]

@clarrisa I’m actually thinking of doing this maybe tomorrow. He’s already up in the night, what do I have to lose lol

 

[jik]

@tavott Maybe? But also, maybe the opposite is happening? It’s hard to say!

When mine wakes up in the middle of the night to sing and wiggle for an hour, it’s usually because she had an extra stimulating day and didn’t get enough sleep. Last time it happened we were out of town for emergency surgery for her daddy and we went to the zoo to keep her occupied. So she was very excited and very overtired!

I usually let her sleep in when she’s night waking and it resets the next day. If I don’t, she wakes up in the middle of the night until she finally gets a longer sleep.

But I have a sleepyhead! She sleeps 12-14 hours at night and takes a 1-2 hour nap in the afternoon, depending on how much sun and play we get in the morning. She’s 25 months, for context. If she’s sleepy when I get her in the morning I tend to give her an extra nap period so she isn’t partying at 2am.

 

[pittin]

@jik Yeah, I wonder if cutting the nap short is the issue? For us, a 1 hour nap doesn't cut it. She's 2.5/30 months and naps 1.5-2.5 hours. If we skip nap, we start bedtime a full 1-1.5 hours early.

 

[constancechan]

@tavott From my perspective with my kiddo, it sounds like he's catching up on the nap you're waking him from and then needing to be awake for a bit before going down again.

I'm in the let them sleep camp here (as long as you have the schedule flexibility). 28 months here and mine will do a 1.5 - 3 hour nap starting at noon. Bedtime is at 8 with some reading, etc., so actually asleep from 9 - 7:30am. So around 12ish hours total.

They are learning so much and growing so fast I think of nap time as giving their brains extra time to process everything they learned in the morning, sometimes that takes a while.

 

[kaylove1]

@tavott 1.5 hour nap is the sweet spot for us at 27 months. BUT we leave him in the crib for 2 hours. And he kind of chills and rolls around. Sometimes even though he doesn’t need more sleep, he just needs less stimulation and a shorter day. He sleeps 7:30-7AM and same thing. If he’s up at 6:30 he’ll usually happily stay in his crib and just rest.
I would recommend posting to r/sleeptrain. Most people have low sleep needs kids there and have great advice for schedules

 

[hanakahiro]

@tavott I agree with most everyone here that he probably needs a lot more sleep, not less. This sounds a lot more like a kid who is overtired than one who needs to drop his nap. It might take a little time for him to readjust but if you give it a week or two of letting him sleep longer in the morning and at nap I bet the night sleep starts improving.

 

[godschild583]

@tavott Have you tried more sleep?

8-7 wake up
Naps 12:30-2:00