Venting…

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poptart1919

New member
I am 5’8”. I used to weigh 420 lbs. I’m now 250 lbs. I no longer have insulin resistance (or high blood pressure, reversed my diabetes (5.1 A1C), no high cholesterol or deficiencies). Truly a clean bill of health as I just got my blood work back last week. I have my menstrual and ovulate every month or it seems like it. I went to my doc today and she pretty much said “your BMI is exactly 40. I’m not too concerned about your BMI, but ideally let’s keep focusing on losing weight before we talk about you conceiving.” It’s so frustrating. I get it, I could and problems and she’s only looking out for me, but I am 32…. Will be 33 this year. It just upset me. I’ve come so far from where I was just to hear I need to wait. 😔 I know nothing is stopping me as I am married, but I wanted to just make sure I am reaching my peak for ovulation and all the things, as it may take a bit to get pregnant, but she didn’t even want to check anything.
 
@butterscoth This. You don’t need a doctors approval to TTC. If you’re ready, start trying. If you’re having regular periods like you say, you’re likely ovulating regularly.
 
@deegee823 I’m regular like clock work. I believe I am ovulating, but idk if I’m hitting that peak or whatever or I feel like I would’ve been pregnant by now. Idk. I was just seeing what all she would do to help with that, but she just straight up said no.
 
@poptart1919 If you’ve been having unprotected sex regularly for over a year, then your regular doctor isn’t who you need- you need a fertility doctor. Call one of them, and when you meet I’m sure they’ll bring up weight(don’t they all) but mention to them that you’ve already lost so much and you’re ready to move forward with the next steps.

There may be bigger issues- your tubes could be blocked, your partner could have low sperm count, there’s a million things that could be going on.
 
@deegee823 First let me say congrats on getting healthier, that’s an amazing thing and I hope you’re proud of yourself!

I’m 36 with a regular cycle and ovulation with no health issues, just high BMI. Husband and I were trying for about a year with no success. I didn’t even ask my doctor about it, I just found a highly rated clinic near me and called them for a consultation. As long as you tell them you’ve been trying for at least 6 months with no pregnancies they will see you.

I was so worried it was because of my weight but turns out after they tested both myself and my husband the issue was with him and his sperm count/morphology/motility. He was basically infertile by natural means.

We moved forward with IVF, and I was very lucky to get 5 beautiful day 5 blastocysts from 1 egg retrieval and to now be a little over 5 weeks pregnant with our first try transfer. Many women I know who are a healthier BMI than me have had multiple retrievals and transfers without successes so it’s not always about weight, it’s really in a way luck of the draw. As long as you are continuing to keep yourself healthy you are on the right track.

I will say, double check with clinics if they have a BMI limit. My clinic wants you to be under 41 and I was just above it so I did have to lose 3 lbs to get under the 41 mark before starting treatment. Not all clinics have them but some do. I love my clinic and I was okay with it since it wasn’t a lot of weight and I was already trying to lose a bit, but wish I had known about that before going in.
 
@christoph2005 I'll add that my fertility clinic also had a BMI limit, but it was specifically for anesthesiology. They were willing to start all of the testing while I worked to get under their limit. We ended up getting pregnant the same cycle as my hsg was performed. So it is definitely worth it to ask about a limit and what it means for that clinic.
 
@yoli24 Yes it was the same for me, I should’ve clarified. I wasn’t told of the limit until after they ruled out IUI as an option for us and recommended IVF. Luckily I had enough time to lose those few pounds before my cycle started for egg retrieval but if it I had to lose more I might have missed the cycle. If I had known from the beginning of the limit I would’ve started paying more attention to my weight sooner.

They did all our blood work/screenings and tests for my husband and my HSG before I was under the limit. That’s how we decided IVF was our best option.
 
@poptart1919 Again, your gyn is not who you need. A fertility specialist is who you need.

Google your nearest big city and IVF. If their website says they do IVF, they will be able to run all the tests and do all the steps before you get to IVF as well- many of us need medicated cycles or an iui, and a fertility doctor is the right place for that care.
 
@poptart1919 You can get a load for cheap on Amazon. Also this tells me you’re actually not tracking and having sex during the right 2-3 days.

If you are ttc then definitely get on those ovulation sticks.
 
@poptart1919 Yes this! Buy the cheap ovulation strips and use them at least twice a day starting at cycle day 10 and until you can see a peak. 12-24 hours after you see a peak strip (LH surge) is when your body actually releases the egg, but if you’re having sex daily around your ovulation (but especially before) then sperm and egg should be in the right spot at the right time.

Try this for a few months before considering fertility treatments, because girl… those doctors and systems can be sooooo frustrating and veryyyy expensive. IVF was way harder than I ever imagined.
 
I used the brand on Amazon that is easy@home, aka Premom, and they even have an app a lot of women use. I found the app kind of lame, and I just taped my strips on paper to track my cycles lol.
 
@poptart1919 I was much heavier than you when I first started trying to get pregnant. When we we’re first trying to conceive I went to a dr because I was concerned that my PCOS would stop me from being able to a asked I wanted help getting that under control. She spent the entire appointment telling me how getting pregnant at my weight was such a terrible idea and she even said it was selfish because it was basically a death sentence. She gave me a bunch of pamphlets on getting weight loss surgery and told me to try in like 3-4 years. I walked out feeling defeated.

We kept trying anyways and I got pregnant like five months later. I saw a different dr who was amazing and never made me feel like my weight was an issue. Even if I brought up my concerns around it she’d just say we’ll monitor you as we go and step in if we need to. I had a very healthy pregnancy and delivery and I would do it all over again.

I’d suggest seeing a different dr if you can. There are risks to every pregnancy no matter your weight or bmi. I’m so glad I didn’t just stop and give up like that first dr said because then I wouldn’t have my happy and healthy 8 month old.
 
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