vax v. unvaxed turned into my family v. hubby's

[oceanskk]

Long story short, I want to make a rule for people visiting / holding our newborn that they must be fully vaccinated. The issue is that my entire family is vaxed and boosted but literally only 2/25 in his family are. So now it seems like I'm just making up a rule so that they can't see him and my family can.

Has anyone else run into this? Any suggestions on how to handle this convo with them?

 

[jmp]

@oceanskk Don't let yourself be drawn into an argument about this. It's not about his family vs. your family, it's about vaccination status. That's the only point you need to make.

 

[sunsetrose]

@jmp 100% this!

If they try and make it about them vs us you just keep saying the following until everyone is bored of you saying it:

“X, this is about the health of BABY and that’s it. If you’re vaccinated you can visit - it’s that simple.”

 

[sunshine4jesus43]

@oceanskk Not just covid, but make sure anyone seeing the baby has gotten the TDAP (with pertussis!!) In the last 5 years. Whooping Cough is a terrifying illness for babies (they suffocate to death).

Adding another vaccine to the requirement might help make it less "political" and more about the truth: keeping baby safe, healthy, and not exposing them to unnecessary disease.

If your partners family really cannot vaccinate, then my personal rules would be outside only, with masks the entire time, and cannot hold the baby (again, I'm terrified of pertussis/whooping cough a LOT more than covid when it comes to a newborn!)

 

[dlwscrappy]

@oceanskk be firm, this is not the first time you will have to set boundaries and this is a really important one.

 

[ian83]

@oceanskk No suggestions but if they want to see it that way, they are petty. Either way, it’s your child and you have every right to deny access based on vaccine status. If they want to see the baby, they can get the vaccine. If they don’t, they can wait until the baby can get a vaccine to protect itself.

I didn’t let many people see my baby until she had her first round of baby vaccinations and everyone had to be fully vaccinated, including a recent TDAP vaccine. I’m not going to feel bad for protecting my infant from viruses.

 

[shaniboek]

@oceanskk The same thing is happening to me. I just keep stating "It's not up for debate" ad nauseam. I am planning to not tell anyone when I go into labor and lock my doors when I get home.

It's sad we have to protect our babies from their own family but I have also told them the ball is in their court: if they want it they gotta put in the effort.

Some of them are ignoring the conversations and clear "you will not be seeing my baby because you are not vaccinated" line I have told them by saying things like "oh I can't wait to see them and I wonder if they will have a bunch of hair" Don't let comments like that get under your skin. I just say, yeah, I'll send you pictures.

The difference between us is it's husband's family that is 100% good and my family, which I am not in regular contact with anyway, which is 90% bad.

 

[erinarden]

@oceanskk In addition to being a broken record and staying firm, you can explain that this is a requirement from your pediatrician. It also makes a huge difference if your husband has your back on this too.

 

[wibble]

@oceanskk Tell them you are not playing games with your baby’s health. If they want to visit , they get vaccinated , period.

 

[katrina2017]

@oceanskk Like others have said, I wouldnt waste my time arguing about this at all. This is about your babys safety.

 

[asaph2021]

@oceanskk The only two people on the planet who have a “right” to see the child is their mother/father. Make that extremely clear. They made a choice to not get vaxxed. The consequences are they can’t see your child. If they push back, be unequivocal, get vaxxed if you want to see the child anytime in the next 5 years. Make sure your partner is firm on this also. You are the child’s caregiver, not their social manager. You wouldn’t let a hungry bengal tiger near your child, and an unvaxxed person is just as dangerous.

 

[lucyrobb465]

@oceanskk You can also say you’re doing this based on your doctor/baby’s doctor recommendation!! We’re doing the same thing (covid + all boosters, flu, and tdap to meet little one) and if anyone pushes back, we’ll repeat once or twice “we are doing what’s best for baby’s health/safety” before we stop responding. They are welcome to make their own choices, but we will make ours to keep baby safe.

 

[dadxfour]

@oceanskk You can get covid and spread whether vaxxed or not so I don't understand the separation. Why not ask them all to wash their hands and wear masks while visiting instead. Might save an argument between all.

 

[oceanskk]

@dadxfour That's the thing. They won't wear masks either. Even when it was mandated they were the 'I have asthma and can't breathe' people. Which they don't.