Universal Childcare call to arms! -Mod Approved

[freckledwilding]

@ronniev That's why I left that sub. The toxicity was too high for me. It was supposed to be a support sub for all working moms, but instead they chose to gatekeep what counts as a working mom as if every woman works the same kind of job with no variation.

 

[ronniev]

@freckledwilding Exactly. It’s so fucked up.

 

[brendawwentz]

@ronniev Totally understand your feelings there. We aren't just people from that sub, we're also people that do wfh and caretake at the same time. That sub is just where the initial call to arms came from.

 

[ronniev]

@brendawwentz Thanks for saying that, clearly that sub has excluded enough people that they are wary of anything that comes from it.

I’ve joined the new sub, thanks for coordinating!

 

[joaa]

@ronniev What?? That's utterly insane.

 

[edwinoel]

@joaa During the past year, the sub was inundated with posts about how to "work from home and not hire childcare for children who are not old enough to go to school." Eventually, the members and moderators got tired of the same posts and discussion.
Most of the discussions boiled down to:

"workplaces expect childcare. Trying to work full time without it, is unfair to your child and unfair to your coworkers, because (as many experienced first hand in the pandemic) you can't do both."

There were some who broke off so they could have discussions of how to work from home without childcare.

 

[grace4nan]

@edwinoel I understand this. Especially if the sub was taken over by it. There's only so much to say on the subject. Like your life is not going to be fun if you have to work from home and somehow take care of babies/toddlers. That's two full time jobs.

I would def be fired from my job if I tried that.

 

[edwinoel]

@grace4nan Yeah, I was going through it with a toddler and it was intense. I cannot do that and would certainly be fired if I tried that now, in 2023.

 

[ronniev]

@edwinoel You can do both and many do, with employers sign off. The un addressed guilt in that sub is too intense to even hear that truth.

 

[edwinoel]

@ronniev Maybe it's a truth for you, but that runs counter to the experience of many. So many posts boiled down to "I have to work and don't have child care, how can I do that?" If they could do so with the blessing of their employers, they wouldn't have those types of posts.

 

[ronniev]

@edwinoel Because my experience isn’t like many I’m not allowed to discuss it in the sub? Really fucking privileged if you ask me.

The women you describe as not doing it with the blessing of their employers are in a very rough spot and yet again that sub berates and excludes them.

Come on, it’s a circle jerk of people trying not to feel guilty for working. I’m not saying they should feel guilty, but they are just tearing others apart because they can’t come to terms with their own feelings.

Personally, I’m with the women who get creative, find understanding employers, find unconventional solutions, change jobs for the few precious years they have babies if they want, and don’t exclude others just for being different. But that’s just me I guess

 

[edwinoel]

@ronniev You've been pushing a narrative that working mom's are feeling guilty. What is that?

There's no berating of moms either.
A group realizing that there isn't anything else to discuss on a subject isn't excluding people.

The discussion went round and round without a resolution other than: you need childcare if you're going to work full-time and your boss isn't giving you the ok to not work and care for your child.

You want to beat a horse. It's not privileged vs not, since many essential workers did not even have the option to work from home.

Childcare is vital. We're in a post calling for universal childcare. It would benefit all parents.

You're in here arguing that we should be working full time and watching our children at the same time.

If your workplace allows that, then that's something you can work out. The majority of workplaces aren't like that. Having universal childcare would be a better option than burning the candle at both ends.

 

[ronniev]

@edwinoel A majority of workplaces? Where that data from? Or is it a majority of people in that sub because no one else is allowed to talk about it?

 

[mammabear]

@ronniev It’s the latter. This same thing happens every time it’s brought up.

I’ll say it EVERY time though, no matter how much I get downvoted: it IS possible to work from home full time with kids. Not every job, no. But some situations it totally works.

 

[mammabear]

@edwinoel That’s not the “resolution” for a lot of people though. That’s cool you and others can decide what works for everyone else though.

I’ll just be over here with my 5 month old on my lap/in her playpen next to my desk as I work remotely full time , just as I did with her older brother starting almost 3 years ago.

 

[edwinoel]

@mammabear If your job is so relaxed that you don't need childcare, that's the exception and not the rule.
Not sure what more can be discussed.

Most of us need childcare while working, so spending time on how to not get caught at work, isn't productive vs finding actual childcare that is somewhat affordable.

My 5 month old has to be watched by someone when I'm working, and the 3 year old is in school.
There's no job in my industry that is full time and will be cool with me not working during working hours.

 

[mammabear]

@edwinoel Yep, my job absolutely rocks and I get to have my kiddos at home with me. I’m very lucky/stumbled into the right career.

You can downvote this too. I don’t mind.

 

[ronniev]

@joaa Lol yea check their pinned post. Post about your actual life and it’s constrains in that sub and you will get ripped by a bunch of women wealthy enough to afford daycare. Nice!

 

[charliehcf]

@brendawwentz Here in the UK, the govt pays me £32 a day to look after a kid. It's ridiculously low - im allowed 1-3 as my ratio. Many places/ providers won't offer government funded placements because there is so little profit in it.

So getting it is one thing, getting it implemented and accepted maybe another. Not looking to pee on any parades, just trying to illustrate possible obstacles.

 

[alivebydeath]

@charliehcf We have ELRC (a subsidized childcare program administered locally) here in the US too—it’s awful what it doesn’t cover and the barriers and catch-22s…and at the same time it is what we have and it is better than nothing. Thank you for contributing this illustration of how implementation can be imperfect and need improvement!