TTC and had first fertility appointment. What a shit show

[kimmynew]

@pollinnna230 BMI of 42 here.
Fertility specialist at first consult said I should try to lose weight, but understood it was difficult and that no pharmacological or surgical treatment is safe/approved when trying to conceive (some doctors even suggest you avoid becoming pregnant within 6 months of stopping ozempic, so don’t know why a fertility specialist would recommend it).

Final diagnosis is unexplained infertility, tried 2 IUIs and then went to IVF. Currently 26wks pregnant from the first embryo transfer.

You should find a different fertility provider that doesn’t descriminate treatment if you’re overweight.

 

[pollinnna230]

@kimmynew Thank you for sharing your story. Gives me hope that things with work out for me and that I’ll find a better provider who isn’t constantly shaming patients.

 

[garrettholliman2001]

@pollinnna230 I wish I had words of encouragement when it comes to the system, because it’s fucked. It fucked me over and it was a veryyy stressful year for me TTC and working with a fertility clinic.

However, if you can rise above the people being stupid, and approach it scientifically yourself, you can absolutely have a healthy pregnancy! I was constantly learning as much as I could and stayed on top of my doctors because you have to be your own advocate (times ten). Ask ALL the questions. When they claim a 35-day cycle can’t have ovulation then ask them why and how they know for sure. Ask them what things are actually in your control. And when they say to lose weight, I would say something like, “What if I don’t lose the weight?” And keep throwing it back on them to come up with answers.

 

[garrettholliman2001]

Sorry, a bit of a rant lol. I get so heated with the BMI bullshit and they act like they can’t help anyone with pcos. It’s ridiculous.

 

[pollinnna230]

@garrettholliman2001 You know you’re 100% right and I guess I was so beyond shocked in the moment that I couldn’t form the words to fight back. I need to take this as a lesson that I need to be a better advocate for myself. Sometimes I get major white coat syndrome and feel I can’t stand up to doctors but in this case, with so much on the line, I need to ask them why they’re still using bmi as a benchmark when it’s been proven to be irrelevant. My sole weight shouldn’t be the only determining factor in whether I deserve treatment.
I was in such a rage all afternoon. It’s so beyond fucked and I feel your frustration as well. It’s crazy that this woman is even allowed to see vulnerable patients and spewing straight up LIES!!

 

[pollinnna230]

@jonjones229 Thank you so much for sharing your story! It’s good to know there are doctors who don’t fixate on weight and actually treat their patients!! Wishing you a healthy end of pregnancy and birth!!

 

[elyonathan85]

@pollinnna230 I highly recommend you look for a different clinic with a higher BMI limit. There was a recent study that showed weight loss does not increase fertility, so this Dr isn’t even working with the latest science. My clinic has a BMI limit of 50.

 

[sandman134]

@pollinnna230 I could rant about this all day but pretty much everyone else covered what I was going to say. The only thing I will say though is I lost 50 lbs before going to my fertility clinic and guess what? NOTHING CHANGED. I still didn't get a regular cycle. I have PCOS as well. Also my insanely healthy husband ended up having a low sperm count. So it wasn't all me. We were told IVF was our best bet and not to put off getting pregnant because of my weight. My clinic did have a BMI limit of 50 and I had to make sure I was under it before I could have a hysteroscopy or egg retrieval done But beyond that the doctor never talked about my weight. I am currently 19w+3d pregnant with pre-existing hypertension that is still under control and I passed my gestational diabetes test. Everything else has been going great. I sincerely hope you can find a better doc or clinic that will treat you better.

Edit to add: My current BMI is 47.5. so the doctor you talked to can kiss my ass.
Another edit to add lol: My RE literally said there's no time better than yesterday in regards to your fertility. I honestly wouldn't put it off to lose more weight. I had asked my RE if I should lose more weight first and he said no because I could lose 100lbs and it could still make no difference.

Sorry for the long rant. Wishing you the best of luck.

 

[pollinnna230]

@sandman134 Thank you for sharing and for confirming everything I’m thinking about all this. Weight loss will always be a goal in a way, but I can’t wait to reach this magical unicorn weight that will make any doctor from this old school way of thinking comfortable. It’s my life and I want to grow my family! Best of luck to you in the rest of your pregnancy and upcoming birth

 

[sandman134]

@pollinnna230 Thank you! You have every right to grow your family and as my OB said when I was TTC plenty of plus size women go on to have healthy pregnancies and babies. There's no reason to wait.

 

[dm1057]

@pollinnna230 Find a new RE. Ozempic is contraindicated for couples attempting to conceive. It can cause fetal harm and has a long half-life. Even if you lost weight on it (not everyone does, and the average weight lost is not really all that much), you'll have to discontinue it several months before becoming pregnant, at which point your weight will just go back to where it was. Going on it is pointless.

Unfortunately the fertility community is rife with discrimination. I had multiple doctors attempt to diagnose me with PCOS (I was tested for it five times in three years, and very definitively do not have it) because "I must have it" even though every single test was normal. Unfortunately you just have to keep trying until you find a doctor who isn't an asshat. People may be able to give recommendations if they know your general location.

I have a higher BMI than you. Slightly different set-up (same-sex couple, so had to go through fertility treatment) but I had a textbook response to treatment. Got pregnant on the first and second IUIs, but unfortunately both were chemicals. On our fifth IUI we switched sperm donors and I'm currently 28 weeks with zero complications thus far aside from mild anemia (which is ridiculously common).

 

[pollinnna230]

@dm1057 This is exactly my worry and the research I came across on my own. I don’t understand why fertility “specialists” are so keen to recommend something like this especially at my age. Time is ticking and I don’t want to waste another year waiting around! Thank you for summarizing all my thoughts about ozempic so concisely !!

 

[johanaanderso]

@pollinnna230 I was on Ozempic for about 8 months but my doc said I had to get off it before I started TTC because of the risks. I lost about 25 lbs which was great but I’m almost 39 and can’t really wait any longer. I think it can work if you’re a bit younger and have the luxury of taking your time to lose weight first, but if you’re older its probably better to just go for it and lose the weight after.

 

[pollinnna230]

@johanaanderso I totally understand. I’m 34, turning 35 this year and I feel the clock ticking! I know I have some time but I feel like the weight loss I would experience wouldn’t be significant enough in such a short time to make not trying worth it.

 

[madmen88]

@pollinnna230 How does length of cycle determine whether you ovulate?! That doesn't make a damn bit of sense. My OB told me that if I have regular periods, I'm ovulating, which makes far more sense.