Trying to understand ... Please help!

[marcellamiles]

Hi all, my wife and I just had a baby. Mommy and baby came home yesterday and she seemed a little different. Last night, she started yelling at my oldest (14) because my dog was limping. She asked why the dog was limping. To be honest, we don't know why the dog was limping. Anyway, she yelled at my son repeatedly and I didn't like that so I got up and raised my voice asking why she was yelling. And then it happened. Argument escalated to a fight where she screamed at me and my oldest, saying things like "y'all don't know what I'm going through! I just had a baby!". Lastly, she said something she's never said after 6 years of marriage. "You don't know sht! FCK y'all!!" And went back to the room with my baby. Don't know what to do at this point. This is the worst fight we ever had and it hurts so bad. Yesterday was supposed to be great being my baby's first day at home. Anyway, just need some help to understand her. Thanks

 

[katrina2017]

@marcellamiles She’s sleep deprived and the adrenaline is fading from delivery. On top of that her body is trying to adjust her hormones and sometimes it can lead to baby blues which can cause mood swings.

Just know she probably needs sleep. If she’s nursing try to bring her some water every time she nurses and offer her something to eat so her blood sugar stays up.

Try and take care of the house so she can focus on the baby and the adjustment and remember to breathe.

 

[livethelife]

@marcellamiles I am so sorry you are going through this. My husband and I had a baby a few months back. There is something you must understand about being a new mom.... It's fkn hard! I am in no means saying it is not hard for fathers or putting you on the back burner. However you didn't physically carry or deliver a child,youvare not going through extreme hormonal changes and internal physical repairs.

It is the most beautiful thing a woman can do is to grow a life within her, push it out of her body, sustain the life she grew with nourishment her body makes. It can also be a dark time of extreme change, a change in herself, in her body, in her emotions, a change filled with fear and love all at the same time. Those early days are fragile... Be easy on her... Am I saying treating the ones she loves like that is okay? No, I don't think so. Does she need extra support and love, yes. Don't be so quick to respond in anger or accusations. Instead, tell her you don't understand, ask her to explain what she is going through, try to put yourself in her shoes.

For me my first week or so with a new baby and a older child was overwhelming. I was afraid something would happen to the baby so I couldn't sleep despite my exhaustion and my husband willingness to help and watch over our child while I got rest. Fear I wouldn't be able to properly provide for my other child, husband, and pet like I did before. I also had seperation anxiety from my baby, even though he was with me, the fact that he was no longer within me was a hard concept at first.

You will both get into a groove with the new addition, just work as a team and be kind to one another even when it's hard to do so.

Congratulations on your new baby! Your a great daddy for caring so much about your family!

 

[msaning]

@marcellamiles She’s exhausted, her body’s been through something intense, she’s in pain still, and her hormones are adjusting. She’s still bleeding, she’s still recovering and everything she says needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Sorry, I’m sure this is tough for you and I don’t want to say she has an excuse to say hurtful things but just to be patient with her. Make sure she’s staying hydrating and eating enough and maybe take the baby for a walk so she can sleep. Hope it gets better!

 

[robert1945]

@marcellamiles This is normal at first. New moms experience "baby blues" including mood swings, crying spells, anxiety and difficulty sleeping. Baby blues typically begin within the first two to three days after delivery, and may last for up to two weeks.
However, if after two weeks she continues to be unlike herself, postpartum depression (very common) may be at play. Speak with a provider if concerns continue, for her health and baby.

Postpartum depression signs and symptoms may include: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20376617

 

[katrina2017]

@marcellamiles Geez. Reading this made me realize how toxic my relationships have all been if this is the worst fight you guys have had. Sorry this is an old post and I hope all is well now.