Trying to get 4.5 month old to the breast after exclusively pumping…

[jellybean945]

My daughter never latched in the hospital…never latched at home….lost 15 ounces in 3 days. I was told there weren’t any problems and my milk just hadn’t come in. I got a hand pump…turns out…yes it had, she just couldn’t get it.

Pediatrician said to supplement with formula and keep trying to get her to latch but I decided to pump because the milk was there…and I wanted to breastfeed.

After a short while I stopped trying to nurse because she cried…and I cried.

Pediatrician said no tongue tie to be concerned with. At 2 month appointment I said ok but doesn’t she have a lip tie and pediatrician said no…

I’ve tried 6? Different nipple shields! I was convinced it was a problem with me somehow and blamed myself terribly.

At 12 weeks I got an IBCLC virtual consult where they told me where to take her for tie evaluation…I take her there at 13 weeks and lo and behold…kiddo has a tongue tie and a lip tie.

So we go through all of the steps for pre-work, have her toes released at 18 weeks…and now she’s 20 weeks and healing really well and I just don’t know where the heck to start? Like I want to nurse so badly because exclusively pumping is draining me heart and soul…I just want so badly to be able to just feed her because she’s hungry. Not to have to go through the 12 extra steps to do so!

Of course I’ll do it if that’s what I have to do…but I want so badly for this to be easier on both of us.

So I guess all of this to say…how? How do I do it? How do I get an almost 5 month old baby to learn how to do something shes never gotten to do? I feel so lost and I just don’t know what to try to get it to work.

I have really big boobs—they were an I before I got pregnant and an N before my milk came in.

I produce about 35 oz/day, kiddo takes about 28 ounces a day…so there’s no supply problem.

Help? Please? I’m so heartbroken. I want this so badly.

I’m at a point where if I see someone else nursing their baby I cry :/ because I want that.

 

[skelendke]

@jellybean945 Fantastic suggestions already - lots and lots of happy naked breast opportunities are key to getting baby to latch (not aiming for any on the breast drinking to start, just the happy latches) - we usually recommend the bottle to cup to breast method. At this age we don't use the SNS as a rule as babies will find the tube and suck on it like a straw, but you can definitely try that too.

Larger breasts- laid back/sidelying/concorde holds work well because we have gravity helping or we are actually moving the breasts in the concorde hold and supporting them the whole time. In addition any positions where you are upright, often having extra support can help breast wedges, towels, etc.

I would be also reaching out to your IBCLC and/or La Leche League (or other trained support) to help with this process and for personal, hands on support.

You've got this! Cheers!

 

[jellybean945]

@skelendke Apparently I’ve been trying the Concorde hold without knowing it had a name

 

[skelendke]

@jellybean945 Oh that's great! It is usually a bit outside of standard latching recommendations as we are having mums both (A) move the breast (instead of moving baby) and (B) hold the the whole time to keep in baby's mouth (vs letting go to be able to have hands free and comperess) so most of the time mums haven't tried something like this. Cheers!

 

[findingme23]

@jellybean945 My baby didn’t latch until I had an IBCLC visit and it wasn’t just the nipple shields that helped but also the positioning. I could only get her to drink if I held her just so and with so many pillows and things to support us. It was pretty much a pillow or cushion to support any part of me that wasn’t touching the couch. Pillows under the breast too to get the nipple pointing outward. Now she drinks anywhere, any which way, no nipple shields, no problem.

Also seconding the advice to spend all day hanging out in bed together, for a few days if necessary. The mindset of having nothing to do but feed the baby, and not having to find the place, take of clothes etc really helps.

 

[jellybean945]

@findingme23 I just wish I had gotten do this younger. She’s a squirmy worm who wants to play and be crazy.

 

[snav]

@jellybean945 I went through the same and using a supplemental nursing system with my pumped milk combined with a specifically shaped nipple shield worked around that same age. We got to exclusive breastfeeding! You can do it!!

I was able to stop the sns and just use the nipple shield but had to put some pumped milk on it with a dental syringe to get him going. Then I only needed the shield, then one day he knocked it off and never looked back. Hes 2.5 now and I can't get him off my boob lol.

I have a tiktok/instagram reel about our journey:

View this content on Instagram

View this content on Instagram

 

[jwyattharp]

@jellybean945 I could have written this, almost word for word, except I'm at 9 weeks and about to ask about a lip and tongue tie this week. I'm so impressed you're still pumping, I'm wavering daily nowadays on whether to keep going. I relate so hard to your feelings, especially seeing other people nurse. It's so painful. I wish I had words for you besides please go see a lactation consultant again, in person if you can. Every little bit of progress I get is after a visit with them. I still am not nursing regularly but I'm trying and have little wins here and there. If you'd like to look at one of my most recent posts, there are some good ideas in the comments. Good luck mama.

 

[rolanda]

@jwyattharp Which nipple shield? the lansinoh and medela both do not work for me. Way too long/too much extra space.

 

[jellybean945]

@jwyattharp I figure even if I can never actually get her to nurse— she’s still better off having had her ties released. I’ve seen INSANE improvements in her body/sucking/so much more that I never would have believed it without seeing it with my own eyes.

She went from hating tummy time to rolling into it herself on purpose and that was just from the body work and feeding therapy before her releases. The day she had her release done she came home and grabbed her feed for the first time…and the next day they were in her mouth. When they say the tongue is connected to the toes my goodness they’re not foolin

 

[jimishasmom]

@jellybean945 I did a nursing vacation.

It consists of 24/7 (I mean that literally) skin to skin contact. Offering the breast every chance you get. Every cry. Meal. Thirst. Bored. Sleep. Just because. Offer offer offer. If your baby refuses, don’t pressure them, offer it again next time. Don’t correct their latch, you just want them to latch. Their latch will naturally improve as they practice. Take baths with them, offer a bath boob. Boob in day. Boob at night. I did it for a week (my baby is extraordinarily stubborn) but most people do it for a few days. You have an older baby so it might take longer. It’s labor intensive so I suggest getting your partner, friend, family, or hired part time help to support you during that time. Your only job is feeding the baby.