Try for baby #4 or be done?

[dee1720]

@daniel1986 My pregnancies themselves tend to be difficult. I’ve only had one loss so far.

Pregnancy 1: Hyperemesis Garvidarum (HG), Gestational Diabetes. Born at 40+3 in 2018. Hemorrhaged during labor. In the postpartum: Developed thyroiditis and postpartum depression.

Pregnancy 2: @ 12 months postpartum- loss at approximately 5-6 weeks

Pregnancy 3: 2 months later. No pregnancy complications. Born at 38+5. Hemorrhaged during labor again. Developed postpartum depression and anxiety at 3 months postpartum.

Pregnancy 4: @ 21 months postpartum. Hyperemesis Garvidarum again. Partial placenta previa that cleared by 26 weeks. Gestational diabetes. Cholestasis. Currently still pregnant and have delivered yet. Looking like induction at 37-38 weeks.

We too were considering a 4th but after the complications with this pregnancy, I just don’t know.

 

[daniel1986]

@dee1720 I’m sorry about your loss

I too have had PPD/PPA with both deliveries, though it wasn’t as bad the second time around. My previa cleared around 22 weeks, though for 10 weeks I wasn’t allowed to pick up my son who at the time wasn’t even walking yet. That was hard.

 

[yebz]

@daniel1986 My first was a stillbirth at 33+3 due placental abruption in Nov 2011.

My second was a MC in may 2013.

My third was a placental abruption but she made it. I was 31+3. Had a nicu stay of ,33 days. Born in June 2014.

My fourth was a full term pregnancy. No complications at all. Born in May 2016.

My fifth was a uterine rupture at 36+6 and I was going to have him literally the next day. No nicu stay. Born in August 2018.

My sixth was a MC. Happened May 2019.

My last and final baby number 7 was born at 35 weeks April (Easter morning) 2020. Had placenta previa and high blood pressure.. No NICU stay.

I had my tubes tied and was set on that since I found out I was pregnant with him.

 

[daniel1986]

@yebz I’m so sorry for your losses

I was at risk for placental abruption with my oldest - I had 3 SCHs that were covering the majority of my placenta so if they fused, it would’ve been game over.

 

[beloved_dust_heap]

@yebz Unrelated, but do you know what caused your abruptions? I had one in my last pregnancy and I'm pregnant again (got pregnant when #3 was 6m) and I'm so worried about it happening again. They keep telling me how unlikely it is to happen again, but it's hard to believe. I'm sorry for your loss and your various complications

 

[katma]

@beloved_dust_heap Some of the risk factors include:

Placental abruption in previous pregnancy (most predictive factor)

Pre-eclampsia and other hypertensive disorders
Abnormal lie of the baby e.g. transverse

Polyhydramnios

Abdominal trauma

Smoking or drug use e.g. cocaine

Bleeding in the first trimester, particularly if a haematoma is seen inside the uterus on a first trimester scan.

Underlying thrombophilias

Multiple pregnancy

 

[beloved_dust_heap]

@katma Thanks. My doctor gave me a lot of that info. I've had one before and they don't know why I happened so I just appreciate the anecdotes.

 

[katma]

@beloved_dust_heap I've had 2. The first was with my 3rd the 2nd was with Vito.. I never got answers either

 

[yebz]

@beloved_dust_heap I don't know honestly. There are alot of factors. I'm not fully developed bc I was born early. Dr said it's possible that's the reason. I was terrified when I was pregnant of it happening again with all of them. But it is very very rare it happens twice. My Dr has been a Dr for 30+ years and said he's never seen a person have it happen twice until me.

Thank you for your condolences and kind words. I'm sorry for yours too. If you ever need to talk you can dm me! I don't mind at all.

 

[beloved_dust_heap]

@yebz Thank you

 

[lesigny]

@daniel1986 I don’t think I’d say my wife had complicated pregnancies but she had four miscarriages interspersed with four kids, all of which were C-section. Miscarriages were 3 D&Cs, and one chemical pregnancy (I think that’s the right term). We didn’t have our first until my wife was 35. From a big-fam standpoint, I’m very happy we continued to try, with our youngest being born when my wife was 41. Once you get through all the pregnancies and your fam is ‘set’, all the difficulties fade. But I think if we had not had our fourth there would always be a lingering feeling of what if we had that fourth kid? You’re so young—just give it some time and the memory of your difficulties will fade, too, and maybe you can make a clearer decision down the road. Best wishes!!

 

[daniel1986]

@lesigny Thank you for this!

For context, I’m 27 (so is my partner) so I know I have quite a bit of time reproductively speaking. My partner says to maybe shelf the idea until the girls are three and if that desire is still there, then we can try. I think you’re right though, I think I’ll always wonder “what if”.

 

[lapinot]

@daniel1986 I'm 34 and I'm shelving the idea of a fourth kid until there's no diapers in my house. I love the age gap between my five year old and my newborn. I have enough time to wait for one more if we want

 

[katrina2017]

@lapinot I love this idea.