Triple feeding to EFF: I need help, both strategies and emotionally…

[zofran]

Hello everyone! I’m bawling my eyes out right now in a contact nap while I debate dropping breastfeeding and breastmilk altogether. I hope this is the right place for this post. I need help.

Almost four months old now. LO dropped from 50th percentile in weight to 19th at six week checkup. Midwife suggested formula supplementing and didn’t really inform me about power pumping and so on. Low supply regulated; power pumping at 14 weeks has upped my supply some but I’m still constantly supplementing.

Turns out LO had a tongue tie that was never diagnosed because mY nIpPlEs dIdNt hUrT eNoUgH (eyeroll). Tongue tie released at 14w and latch is better but without going on an intense pumping marathon my supply will never cut it (and the constant pumping would break my soul).

I’ve been triple feeding since the tie was released. Thing is, triple feeding is a bitch. First off, how do you heat up a bottle or keep it warm while actively breastfeeding? Or manage the crying in between? I am losing it.

My mental health is deteriorating and I know rationally EFF is the right choice. LO is mad when there is a slow letdown. It was devastating to have her rejection at the breast. Now that my supply is marginally better LO is pretend-full after BF, but then needs a supplement an hour later. Even my nighttime BF is not enough, so my night feeds are 45 mins, between heating a bottle, BF, then bottle feed and down. The only reason LO ever super cries is hunger but I can’t get on any kind of routine feeding her. I see EFF as a way to make sure she’s gaining weight, to be more routine in feeding, to take my body back, to involve her father more… the reasons are all there. LO takes bottle same as breast, no problems there. She doesn’t really comfort nurse anyway and loves her pacifiers.

So… for those of y’all who moved from EBF>triple feeding>EP>EFF or anywhere in between how did you do it? I hear horror stories about emotional roller coasters and I already feel jealous of my EBF mom friends. I’ve been putting it off out of fear anxiety and attachment. I feel like a prisoner to feedings.

1) cold turkey on BF? Or slow wean?
2) dry myself out right away -how?
or pump and mix with formula (1-2oz per 10min session)?
3) how to deal with an LO who only takes warm milk (especially feeding out on the go?)?
4) how to create feeding routine?
5) how to handle emotional transition? I’m so hurt but I need to do it

Please stories, solidarity, and any advice you have!

 

[cassmith]

@zofran I made enough breast milk to EBF and baby stayed at 50th percentile pretty much from birth but 5 weeks in I was just so ready to have my body back. I felt selfish wanting to quit when baby was latching well and I produced a lot and I knew other people who couldn’t BF but I had a really rough pregnancy and just wanted some normality back, plus cluster feeding was horrendous, baby was feeding up to 20 times a day, sometimes it felt like that was all I was doing.

So made the decision to add formula, I was going to keep 2-3 breast feeds a day but baby took to formula so well it just didn’t happen. I did my last breast feed 10 days ago and haven’t looked back really! Still waiting to stop leaking though.

As soon as we started swapping breast feeds for formula I realised how much I was resenting breastfeeding, also how tiring it was!! Baby now has 7-8 3-4oz bottles every 24 hours on a pretty good 3-4 hour routine and we are all so much happier! She sleeps amazingly and I feel like I can actually go out and do stuff since she won’t just get randomly hungry.

The guilt disappeared pretty fast when I realised EFF was making me a better, more present mum, with mental space to play with her and read to her etc. You’ve got to choose what’s right for you.

 

[zofran]

@cassmith Gah thank you!!! I’m so hesitant to commit and I’m glad to hear it really helps. Maybe it’s just in my head that I’m bonded with her over breastfeeding? Or I’m taking the rejections personally. I’m so glad you did what’s good for you! And that it actually helped your relationship.

 

[cassmith]

@zofran There were times BFing was really painful for me and there were times when it was really lovely and I enjoyed it but the relief I felt when I knew the next feed was a bottle not boob made me realise I’d made the right decision. Just make sure you transition gradually and be aware it hurts for a few days with engorgement. I’ve only just stopped being a milk pistol in the shower haha

 

[christina89]

@zofran Well I was triple feeding right from the start while in the hospital. My milk came in late and never truly did. My supply was always low. The most I ever pumped at a session was 1 oz. she also had latching issues. At around 2 weeks I stopped trying to get her to latch and just pumped and used formula. My supply just dwindled to nothing until I only got a drop or two each pump so I stopped pumping at 4 weeks.

If baby isn’t getting enough and you want to stop pumping go for it. It’s a lot easier to only do one. It takes less time so you have more time to sleep!

But if you want to continue pumping you can always do it every feed or start spacing it. You will eventually produce less until you think it’s time to start. It may be hard emotionally to stop cold turkey but do what’s right for you.

I felt soo much better when I went to EFF.

 

[zofran]

@christina89 Thank you!! So rather than forcing it I could just drop feeds and pumps and since I’m low supply anyway it’ll just dwindle away?

 

[christina89]

@zofran That’s what mine did. And once it stopped I never had that full feeling again. Barely had any leakage. Every now and then there’s a drop when baby cries. But nothing that gets flowing or painful if not pumped.

As for your other questions:
You can always warm a bottle up under running water or just make with room temp water. When I go out I put water in a bottle and bring my formula powder. So it’s room temperature. Then add the powder when she’s hungry since it can only stay out of refrigerator for an hour.

For a routine, I just follow her schedule as you’ve been doing. Whenever she wants to eat give her a bottle. You’ll figure out how much once you start trying it. Mine has increased to 4-6 oz every 3-4 hours but sometimes she still wants to eat an hour later so I’ll give an oz or two. The good thing is that formula fills them up longer so you may start seeing longer stretches between feedings if baby is getting more formula

 

[failure2020]

@zofran My pediatrician told me triple feeding is NEVER meant to be a long-term solution. She only recommends it as a bridge while new moms build supply. She told me if I wasn't able to boost my supply there was no reason for me to continue triple feeding, that it really undermines the bonding benefit of breastfeeding when I am exhausted and my mental health is fraying and I have no time for other things like taking a shower etc.

She also told me the other benefits are really marginal and she doesn't feel the current emphasis on breastfeeding is helping anyone. I should say - she's a great doctor and I trust her with my life. She also said - "listen. What of this is your own disappointment and how much is actually coming from other people?" And truly, I was way more afraid of people's reactions than I should have been. You'll be shocked how common formula feeding is. I assumed so many moms were breastfeeding and it turned out they weren't.

You have to grieve your expectations - and your grief and your fears are real and very valid -but when I tell you once I stopped breastfeeding it was like a dark cloud lifted it's true. Not right away, but once you get some decent sleep, a hot meal, and a few days for your hormones to rebalance, you truly will feel so much like yourself again. And guess what? Pretty soon the breastfeeding thing goes by the wayside and everyone is starting solids or weaning anyway. It feels like the only thing in the world at first, but that is just a brief season of your life. Now that it's in the rearview the only regret I have is how much I put myself and all of us through in pursuit of the goal of breastfeeding.

I spaced out my pumps by one additional hour each day unless I absolutely needed to for comfort. That worked well for me.

Feeding on the go, we use RTF and disposable nipples. Room temp is usually just fine. I have always had good experiences with it.

I am always here to talk you through this transition. You are doing the right thing for you and your baby. You are doing a great job.

 

[zofran]

@failure2020 I didn’t realize triple feeding would be THIS BAD. Or that it’s not a longer term solution. I boosted my supply a little but not enough…

I think I’ll stop pumping over the next week and start limiting my bf sessions as best I can without pain.

I can’t explain it, I really do believe fed is best! I’m just so attached to breastfeeding and it doesn’t make any sense to my mind.

Thanks for this perspective on grief… and time. It would be past soon anyway. I miss enjoying my child. And yet I am grieving. Perhaps even grieving what I could never have and the choices I made as a FTM (not pushing harder for a tongue tie check, not seeing a lactation consultant until 15 weeks, not understanding cluster feeding for supply building, etc.)

Hopefully I can also stop heating the formula as much and slowly bring the temp down without her noticing, after the breastaurant has shut down for good.

I can’t tell you how powerful your words are for me right now. Thank you so much.

 

[mewmew]

@zofran I triple fed for six weeks and I wish I stopped sooner. My body could not make enough milk for her. I tried all the special foods, supplements, and was even given a prescription to domperidone. Nothing helped, and triple feeding was exhausting because it was the worst of all three worlds - pumping, pump parts to clean, formula making, bottles to clean, syringes to clean, sore nipples.

1. Don't go cold turkey. You might end up with mastitis. Slowly cut back feedings over the course of a few weeks. So if you do 10 feedings per day, do 9 for a few days, then 8, and so on...
2. Pump and mix with formula. I would pump what I could, feed baby that first and then top up with formula.
3. I bought a bottle warmer, which is great for home use. For on the go, I would fill a thermos with hot water, and use that to heat up the bottle.
4. Once you're on formula, life it going to be so nice better. Triple feeding is awful. You'll have so much free time. My formula routine - I wash bottles, pop them in a sterilizer, boil water and make all the bottles for the next 24 hours in a big batch. When baby is hungry, I take one out of the fridge and put it in the bottle warmer.
5. A happy mother is better than breastmilk. You will have so much more free time once you're on formula and not triple feeding - free time for self care or free time to spend with baby. Triple feeding takes a toll on you and you're amazing for sticking with it this long.

 

[zofran]

@mewmew Thank you!!! I tried most of that too. It’s not worth it, is it? I was combo feeding for sex weeks, the n saw a lactation consultant and had the tongue tie done. Then power pumping and I’ve been triple feeding for two weeks now… glad to know I’m making a good decision.

I’ve really debated on a bottle warmer but it’s worth it? I wish I was made of money and could get a Brezza but a bottle warmer could be nice…

Thanks for the advice on boob health, I do not want to make my life even worse with mastitis.

Here’s to a happy mother always! Those few shining days of the perfect routine gave me hope. Thanks

 

[mewmew]

@zofran My bottle warmer was $20 at walmart, but when I am at my moms, I microwave a bowl of water for 2 mins and put the bottle in there to warm it up. Both ways work fine! The microwave method takes like 5 mins total versus 1 minute in the bottle warmer. So it's one of those things that are nice to have but not necessary.

Baby brezza has mixed reviews. My sister had one but ended up giving it away because she said you had to clean it often and it wasn't worth the hassle! I make my formula in a bowl. Haha!

 

[omega52]

@zofran We’ve been triple feeding since right before I left the hospital, now LO is almost 11w. First, I just want to validate your experience. This shit is HARD. My LO had a tongue tie diagnosed at birth, but I want told by 4 pediatricians and 3 lactation consultants that it wasn’t a problem. A fourth lactation consultant evaluated him, and immediately referred us to a pediatric dentist who specializes in ties. Not only did he have a significant tongue tie, he also has a major lip tie that went unnoticed by ALL 8 people who had already evaluated him. We got both released at 6 weeks.

Here’s how we do triple feeding. If someone is around to help me, I breast feed. When we are almost done, I ask my husband to heat the bottle. Ideally, husband does the bottle while I pump.

More frequently, I start warming a bottle before beginning to breast feed so that we are ready to go. When done nursing, I stick my LO in his swing or on a lounger while I get hooked up with the pump. Then I prop him against my legs and give him the bottle. This doesn’t always work, so sometimes I have to skip pumping or wait until he’s asleep to pump.

It’s really tough. I ended up sprinting for a Willow pump, which has made my life much easier. If you can afford it and want to triple feed long term, I really recommend looking at the elvie and the willow. This would not be sustainable for me if I didn’t have a wearable pump.

Good luck, op. Do what works for you, your family, your baby, and your budget.

 

[zofran]

@omega52 Hot dang mama, that’s impressive!!! I cannot imagine how without a hands free pump! I really hope it works out for you… I just don’t think I can do it at this point. I bf morning and naps with a small bottle heated sometimes before/sometimes an hour later, and habe husband help at night. But it’s like feeding is just completely filling my schedule and the reason for absolute meltdowns (where she is hungry but won’t take food!!).

God, if only the experts could actually help us when we need it!!! I have so much resentment about the early part - she’s skinny, you’re just being anxious, wait for the next checkup you’ll see, then too much about supplementing and not enough about things like cluster feeding, supply stabilizing, power pumping for only a short time… hah. My heat goes out to you for your experience too.

 

[sandi217]

@zofran Triple feeding is a nightmare!! I drove myself insane trying to do it. Eventually I decided to just BF at every feeding time, give my LO what I have and then top off with a bottle. I stopped caring about fighting to get my supply up and quit pumping totally- which actually made my supply GO UP. I really believe the stress of triple feeding made my supply worse.

I've kept up with this for four months now with no impact on my supply as is, even with my baby sleeping longer at night and not feeding as often. I put the bottle in the warmer then get it after I finish breastfeeding and the temp is fine for my baby.

 

[zofran]

@sandi217 Wowwwww!!! I think that’s my first step - stop pumping, stop caring. See what happens and then I’ll go from there. Before I power pumped though LO would get SO MAD at my breast for not being bottle speed but maybe now it’ll be smoother? Or through her anger LO will wean herself into bottle/EFF in no time. I think I’m just so sick of balancing boob and bottle. The idea of being able to actually measure what I’m feeding LO is so exciting, let alone some kind of schedule!

 

[eerffy]

@zofran I ended up triple feeding from about a week in while supplementing with formula. It was SO insanely hard. Physically, mentally, emotionally, I definitely started to lose it and only lasted a couple months. My LO was born early and had latch issues the whole time so even attempting breastfeeding at one point was such an awful experience for me. I started exclusively pumping and bottle feeding for awhile but that was also awful. I toyed with the idea of switching to EFF for awhile and it was such a battle. My mind was telling me "you need to do this" but my hormones and heart were urging me to keep trying. In the end, I am so relieved I gave up breastfeeding. We gave it a solid try, but my mental health had deteriorated too much to keep going.

Emotionally, it will be hard but the relief came quickly and the guilt didn't linger long. If your mental health is suffering, it's likely the best decision for both your LO and yourself. Baby needs a healthy happy mama more than breastmilk.

Strategically, I started dropping 1 pump per day at a time and /or reducing the duration of pumps. Once your body is used to it, drop another. I got to the point where I could get by with just a bit of hand expressing in the shower once per day. All in all, it took a couple weeks but wasn't too bad since my supply was dropping off already.

Good luck to you! It's a difficult transition but do whatever is best for you. Your baby will love you regardless of how you feed them.

 

[zofran]

@eerffy Thanks for this! I’m scared of the hormones but I guess they are already bad enough plus the mom guilt eh?

So I pump now maybe 3-4/day and bf as often as possible. One after morning feed (I dropped it today), bf after very nap because LO is calm and likes it then, and pump when she’s in bed, then one to two nights feeds with long bf and bottle. Add to that about 5-6 small bottles with no pattern whatsoever to supplement gah! So since I dropped the am one I’ll just wait a bit and see how my body and mind adjusts! I have a pump on prescription for another two months so my goal is to be done by then.

 

[eerffy]

@zofran They're absolutely already bad enough! Once I had even just made the decision to start the process, I already started to feel better. Light at the end of the tunnel and all that haha.

As far as a schedule goes, that will be entirely personal preference. Pumping and breastfeeding may make it tricky to know how quickly your supply is dwindling since who knows how much baby is getting at the breast. If you want to keep breastfeeding and pumping, I'd probably do some research to get it right since you have a time limit with the pump. I'm sure by 2 months you'll be done by then though! Since I exclusively pumped near the end, it was really easy to see where my supply was at and I'd mix whatever I could pump with formula.

 

[zofran]

@eerffy Thanks so much for all this