Transition from room-sharing to nursery at 10 months

[audreyjk169]

Hi! Thought I’d come here because all the advice I’m getting is all sleep training/CIO related and I don’t want to do that.

My 10 month old sleeps with me in the guest room in a pack n play. We did this because I wasnt ready to stop room-sharing but my husband’s early morning alarm was waking her up. She sleeps really well, she nurses to sleep and I transfer her, usually she will sleep 11ish hours at night with 0-1 wake ups.

Past few nights I’ve moved back into the master bedroom with my husband. She does fine sleeping alone in the guest room in her pack n play. But she will NOT sleep in her nursery. We’ve been trying for naps in the nursery for weeks and she refuses to sleep there. I tried putting her pack n play in the nursery and still she won’t sleep in there. It’s just the room itself, not me being there and not her bed. I’m so anxious to start with nights because I know I won’t get any sleep but it seems like the logical next thing to try.

I was wondering how you made the switch. Was it gradual or did you switch cold turkey? How did it go?

 

[kaylove1]

@audreyjk169 Do you have a bedtime routine? When we moved baby from sleeping with me to the nursery we started by doing the first 1/3 of the bedtime routine in the nursery for 3 days, then 2/3 and then the whole bedtime routine. This seemed to work well and baby started seeing that room as a nice place to sleep.

Anything you can duplicate that’s in the guest room with the nursery? Even just a lamp so the lighting is similar?

Anything you can do to make the nursery smell you will help too. I also slept in the nursery, (just threw a small mattress on the floor) so it smelled like me and slept with the crib sheets as well. Even just sleeping with a blanket and then putting that blanket on the floor of the nursery at first may help. I also left my nursing bras in the nursery for the first week or so lol. I know you mentioned your little one can sleep without you but in a new place the smell of you may be comforting.

Also, instead of playing in the nursery, could you spend some time in the nursery before a nap doing something quiet and then go take the actual nap in the guest room for a week or so? This way baby will see the nursery as a place to relax and sleep vs. a place to play. Similar to how it can be hard for adults to work and sleep from their bedroom.

 

[audreyjk169]

@kaylove1 Thank you so much this is just what I was looking for, I’ve screenshotted your comment to try over the next couple weeks! Thank you!!!

 

[kaylove1]

@audreyjk169 Did you have any luck with the transition?

 

[brione]

@audreyjk169 Just out of curiosity, is there a reason you can't keep her in the guest room for a while longer? Maybe keep trying naps in her room, play in her room during the day, etc and see where things go? If you have guests over maybe you could put the big bed in her room?

 

[audreyjk169]

@brione A couple reasons!

First, for guests to stay over since we live pretty far out of town. Our bedrooms are really small and the queen size guest bed won’t fit in her nursery unless we took all the furniture out of it lol.

Second, it makes me sad that I put so much work into her nursery while super pregnant, it was my little project and I really want to see her using it.

Also, I thought since she needs to go in there eventually it’ll probably be easier the younger she is. There’s no time limit I can do it as gradually as it takes! We have been doing play time in there, and naps just are not happening and it screws up her whole day because she ends up overtired that’s why I thought nights might be better since she’s more tired BUT I’m so anxious about her having rough nights. It’s such a silly problem to have because she sleeps beautifully just in the wrong room!

 

[brione]

@audreyjk169 Just a thought but I'm a big believer that children are exquisitely tuned in to their parents and try so hard to please us. They pick up on what expectations we have for them and try to meet them. This works in both positive and negative ways and it's possible that your expectation that things won't go well will contribute to her having a harder time with this transition. Obviously it's more complicated then that and they'll absolutely surprise you because they're people, but in general it's with considering. Is there a way to make your thinking about this more neutral? You don't have to expect it to go well, more just go in with no expectations and a playful attitude and see what happens. Give her room to surprise you, if that's in the cards!

Also I think things like this actually get easier as they get bigger, not harder. They are so much more resilient at, say, 16 months than 10 months. Just a thought! Feel free to disregard all of this.