@glowfood Maybe this worked for me because my kid was relatively sheltered, but I have the same age gap as you.
I didn't tell him about the impending sibling until we were 5 months in and had determined the sex. He was oblivious to the belly until then.
Saying "you're going to have a little sister and her name is [name]" seemed much easier on him, emotionally, than "you're going to have a sibling and that's all we know for now." I know sex shouldn't matter so much in the grand scheme of things, but it does still seem to matter to little kids in current culture. I'd heard from friends how they instantly hated their little sister because they'd wanted a brother or vice versa and figured I'd head those feelings off at the pass.
Once the baby was here, I tried my absolute hardest to not let it change things for my oldest. I dragged baby everywhere, trained her to nap in the stroller, learned to nurse standing up, played soccer with my oldest while the baby napped in a carrier on my chest, you name it. On the occasions that I really couldn't do something with my oldest because of the baby, I made sure to never say "I can't because I'm feeding your sister," I used very neutral language like "my hands are busy right now but I can help you with that in a few minutes."
My oldest (now 10) has always been over the moon for his sister and I give myself a fair bit of credit for their smooth relationship.
I didn't tell him about the impending sibling until we were 5 months in and had determined the sex. He was oblivious to the belly until then.
Saying "you're going to have a little sister and her name is [name]" seemed much easier on him, emotionally, than "you're going to have a sibling and that's all we know for now." I know sex shouldn't matter so much in the grand scheme of things, but it does still seem to matter to little kids in current culture. I'd heard from friends how they instantly hated their little sister because they'd wanted a brother or vice versa and figured I'd head those feelings off at the pass.
Once the baby was here, I tried my absolute hardest to not let it change things for my oldest. I dragged baby everywhere, trained her to nap in the stroller, learned to nurse standing up, played soccer with my oldest while the baby napped in a carrier on my chest, you name it. On the occasions that I really couldn't do something with my oldest because of the baby, I made sure to never say "I can't because I'm feeding your sister," I used very neutral language like "my hands are busy right now but I can help you with that in a few minutes."
My oldest (now 10) has always been over the moon for his sister and I give myself a fair bit of credit for their smooth relationship.