The Big 3 5

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hasanali147

New member
I'm turning 35 in one week. Happens to be the same day AF is expected. Rude.

Feeling a lot of emotions - a bit blue (because getting older is already hard, but that "advanced maternal age" is a mood killer), a dash of hope (what if I finally get that BFP on my birthday?! But no, due to recent test results, I know it's highly unlikely & I better not jinx it by putting it out in the universe).

I'm trying so hard not to be a bummer, but damn this sucks. If you're also feeling down, please join me in my group hug.
 
@hasanali147 Happy birthday for when it comes! I'm 35 this year too and I do have to admit I'm feeling a bit frazzled about my advanced maternal awesomeness, as they say around here. I expect, however, when our daughters are having kids that it becomes the norm!
 
@hasanali147 I'm turning 35 soon too! It's already the norm where I live. Most new moms I meet are between 35 and 40 and really couldn't have afforded to have a baby much earlier. I hope that with age brings wisdom, perspective, and opportunity for our future children. Hugs!!
 
@hasanali147 I feel you. I have a few more months, but I’ll similarly be past six months ttc but not yet a year when I turn 35. I feel good about my age in pretty much every way other than with respect to ttc. I’m sorry you’re feeling down about it too.
 
@hasanali147 If it's any comfort, I'll be 35 in may and my OB said that I still have plenty of time to get pregnant, that I'm still young and that the big 4 0 is much more critical. Let's be optimistic and celebrate our birthday [sup]^[/sup]
 
@hasanali147 Hello from another 35 year old!

It's definitely a weird mix of feelings. I don't completely regret having waited this long. If I had a guarantee that I could get pregnant in five years, I'd wait even longer- there's so much more I want to do! But at the same time I do very much want ideally 2 kids, and already feel so behind and wonder if I should have pushed my husband on starting sooner. My mom got pregnant very easily in her mid 30s so I naively expected the same for me, and the longer this takes the more I overthink my age.

Thank you for posting this, it's nice to see other people our age out there because sometimes I feel a little old on ttc reddit and also in general (especially where I live)

Happy birthday! I don't know about you but I don't "feel" 35. When you're younger it sounds ancient but it's really not. Big hugs!
 
@r025 I don't feel 35 either, which is why I hate that it's getting to me. But I will let myself wallow today & then pick myself up & keep on going! Hugs to you too!
 
@hasanali147 Happy Early Birthday! 🎂 I just turned 36 in December, and I feel you. I haven't felt much different, but apparently my insides say otherwise. We just need to stay hopeful!
 
@hasanali147 Happy early birthday! I hope 35 is awesome for both of us, I turn 35 in April. I loved turning 30 but wasn’t thinking I would try for kids back then, so now a short 5 years later and actively trying to get pregnant, it’s a weird feeling! But I’m always preaching that ‘everyone’s journey is different’ to my friends who don’t think they’ve achieved enough career success yet for their ages, and hoping I listen to my own advice and don’t freak out toooo hard about being at that “advanced maternal age” part of life. Sigh! Sending hope & internet hugs.
 
@lunarpie Slightly unrelated, but thanks for the “everyone’s journey is different” regarding career success. I think TTC is highlighting for me where I am in my career, and I’m not loving it.
 
@lunarpie Thank you! In my 20s, I did not think I would struggle with aging. I thought I would do it with grace. 30 was fun. 31? I was like, oh sh*t. Nope, this can stop. I took a break from celebrating birthdays. Last year I thought, you know, I'd like to celebrate & be with my friends. So glad I did bc lockdown happened 2 weeks later. We decided to start trying in April bc what else are you going to do in lockdown?

It took us a long time to feel ready to start a family. For many years we didn't really think we wanted to, but that gradually changed and here we are.

Yes our journeys are all different, but we are also bonded by the same desires, disappointments, & support of one another.

You told me exactly what I try to tell everyone else. Thank you saying what I needed to hear & wishing you strength on your journey as well.
 
@hasanali147 I turned 35 in December and start d TTC then as well.
I’m definitely hung up on the “advanced maternal age” and all the doom and gloom there seems to be written about “it’s all downhill from here” and the way articles phrase “there’s still a chance” (liek there’s a chance of winning the lottery). But from what I’ve been reading MANY women are only trying closer to their mid to late thirties now, and most are successful. It doesn’t help that literally our entire lives were lead to believe we can get pregnant by looking at penis without sunglasses on. I wish I could be so lucky. It’s only cycle three, as far as I know I’m perfectly healthy with normal cycles. No fertility issues in either family, but the age + the life long of fear Mongering about pregnancy + no immediate results kinda gets to ya

Best of luck to our advanced wombs
 
@andep Hahaha, "It doesn’t help that literally our entire lives were lead to believe we can get pregnant by looking at penis without sunglasses on." Totally! The number of pregnancy tests I took in a panicked state when I was younger! I even did plan b on 2 occasions. Perhaps I could have gotten pregnant, but I don't even know when in my cycle I was for those 2... It does feel like the lottery. Sending you some positive vibes.
 
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