Thank you r/predaddit! You've brightened my perspective!

[kbp78]

I just wanted to thank the entire predaddit community. I've always wanted kids but became more and more unsure of that the closer I got to that part of my life. When my wife and I started trying for a family I still wanted to be a dad despite all the jokes guys make about hoW expensive kids are, or how little free time they have. The comments and war stories about fatherhood got worse once I got married and much worse when I joked about all the fun I was having "trying". I played along and kept my concerns/fears about parenting to myself, but on the inside I was freaking out. I take the idea of fathering a child seriously and have struggled with the way other fathers talk about how difficult it is.

That's why I'm writing to thank r/predaddit. I'm not sure if you hear this message enough, but your positive perspective and pride in the journey to fatherhood is something that isn't represented well in "locker room talk". We're at 8 weeks and I'm more excited than ever for what lies ahead and part of that optimism is due to all of you. I'm sure you've helped countless others who have been fearful of all the responsibilities that are on their horizon. Keep up the awesome!

Edit: spelling

 

[abner2011]

@kbp78 I am so sick of other father's saying how your "life is gonna change" or "you won't be able to travel anymore" type comments......don't pawn your disappointment or misery onto me.

I am at the point that I want to respond "I'm sorry you don't like your kids /regret having them"

I WANT KIDS! I am so excited to be a dad that I actively welcome the changes coming my way.

And I will still travel. It just takes adaptation.

 

[kbp78]

@abner2011 Exactly! It is such a common direction for all the conversations about the future with other guys. I know they don't typically feel as bleak about the future as their words would suggest. Its just a habit of people to emphasize how difficult the things they've already done have been. In college we all talk about college like that to high school kids and in the workplace we talk about how difficult work is to college kids. It's something humans will always do. I'm just happy to see a place like r/predaddit where that isn't a theme.

edit: examples added

 

[davidhillfive1]

@abner2011 oh my fucking god thank you. I didnt particularly want kids. I didnt specifically NOT want them, but having kids is not something that was on my bucket list. It was my wife's life goal to have kids, and since for the time being i was pretty much done with all my hobby related purchases, I figured its high time we start working on getting her goals out of the way.

That being said, people seemingly cant comprehend that i am a human being with my own wants and needs and goals that i want to accomplish in life. they keep saying/insisting that i need to sacrifice everything for the kids. Fuck that. Thats how you grow up resenting your children.

ive always wanted a motorcycle, I used to have one but had to settle for a fast car after i crashed the bike. No big deal, after the fast car i didnt want the bike anymore. Now that fast car is dead. I HATED owning the car. I'm 100% fine driving the shittiest car i can find (provided it is safe and accelerates enough to pass slow traffic if necessary) but I will absolutely end up getting a motorcycle again one day.

Thats not to say im going to dip into the kids funds to do it. nor will i make that purchase if financially it doesnt make sense. But im not about to cut myself off from my very few hobbies just because i have a child.

Prioritize and adapt, but dont just give up and blame it on the kid.

on an unrelated note, why the fuck are diapers so pricey? Mom just bought me 3 packs of 30 for 30 bucks, and apparently that was a screamin deal (buy 2 get 1). thats apparently only barely enough for a couple weeks....

Costco diapers are a fucking life saver, i think.

 

[abner2011]

@davidhillfive1 We are cloth diapering. More wash but less landfill. Initial upfront investment pays for itself quickly.