Strategies for soothing separation anxiety when 8 month old is with his dad?

[luther27]

My 8.5 month old baby is in the midst of a number of developmental leaps at the moment (standing up, starting to cruise, increased babbling, pincer grasp, teething...) and has had a major increase in separation anxiety to go along with it.

He has always been super attached to me; we're together all day and night including contact sleeping. But up until the last couple of days, he was generally happy to be held by his dad too, and he could usually be set down on his own to play for a few minutes at a time. Now, in the last 72 hrs he's gotten so intense that I basically have to be holding him 100% of the time. If I set him down in his pack n play or hand him off to my husband, he screams until I take him back.

This is hard on everyone. I know this is a normal phase, but I'm wondering if there are any developmentally conscious techniques for supporting my baby in being comfortable with his dad again? Is there anything we can do, besides just waiting this out?

 

[theeagle94]

@luther27 If I can tell my baby is going to get upset by being set down/laid down, I’ll usually lie there with him for a bit until he’s regulated. You could see if you and dad lying there with him helps him adjust to you stepping away? Good luck!

 

[luther27]

@theeagle94 Thanks! I've both slow transitions and quick, nonchalant hand offs, and for the moment he seems to dislike both approaches, haha. But we'll keep trying!

 

[dahtra]

@luther27 I would try to make the transition easier, like by sitting with him for a minute and getting him interested in toys or whatever until he calms down. When my son went through this phase I also made it a habit to warm him. "I'm going to set you down now." "I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be back in a minute." I won't lie to you, it did not stop the tears, nothing did except time. It may have at least reduced the crying, but of course there's no way to know that for sure.

It may help to get him in a more interesting environment. My son loves being outdoors, anytime he was having a rough day we'd shoot outside and it was like an instant switch. Your kiddo may love that or the park or fun music or stuff like that. Dad could take him to these environments when you need a break.

Sorry though, it was really time for us. Probably took about a month if I remember correctly.

 

[luther27]

@dahtra Thanks, yeah trying outside seems like a good idea. Maybe we can try having them go into the yard when I'm making dinner. And yeah, we just have to be patient and know that this phase will end on its own eventually.